They can't keep getting away with this

672 points · 26 comments · view on lemmy.world

26 Comments

CIA_chatbot@lemmy.world · 53 pts · 266d (3 replies)

This is true

a_non_monotonic_function@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 265d (2 replies)

Oh, fuck, everyone. Be cool.

CIA_chatbot@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 265d (1 reply)

Yes be cool, and crack open a nice, ice cold frosty one. Totally not addictive and full of 5G tracking chips.

(Jokes aside, we should all get together and start a conspiracy theory about how the government has switched from putting the 5G in vaccines to beer.)

a_non_monotonic_function@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 265d

Even worse, they put addictive stuff in the beer. Every time I have a beer I want a second.

Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world · 26 pts · 266d (5 replies)

Stuart Mackenzie: Oh, I hated the Colonel with is wee beady eyes, and that smug look on his face. "Oh, you're gonna buy my chicken! Ohhhhh!"

Charlie Mackenzie: Dad, how can you hate "The Colonel"?

Stuart Mackenzie: Because he puts an addictive chemical in his chicken that makes ya crave it fortnightly, smart arse!

The_Lurker@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 266d (4 replies)

Now I have a hankering for KFC.

SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world · 2 pts · 266d (3 replies)

Popeye’s is better than KFC where I live.

WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@piefed.world · 3 pts · 266d (1 reply)

Mary Brown's is better than either.

SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world · 2 pts · 266d

Except for the fact they’re Canadian.

The_Lurker@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 266d

No Popeyes here. 😭

Ininewcrow@piefed.ca · 16 pts · 266d (2 replies)

You're thinking of the Illumanti .... they invented alcoholism to control society 10,000 years ago

zarathustrad@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 266d

Now we have Oxycodone.

Turns out that is the Opiate of the people.

The sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions... Manufactured by Purdue.

Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 265d

You mean Queen Victoria used opium to control the Chinese.

realitaetsverlust@piefed.zip · 14 pts · 266d (1 reply)

Tankies when they develop an alcohol addiction:

MisterFrog@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 264d

Wait until you hear about How Vodka Ruined Russia

Tankies ought to be frothing at the mouth about alcoholism, since apparently they love Stalin. And Stalin brought back alcoholism to Russia (Not a socialist at all, in my opinion)

(Disclaimer, I'm in general much further left than the YouTube channel Kraut, but he makes some quite well put-together videos)

candyman337@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 265d

umbrella@lemmy.ml · 8 pts · 266d
[ removed ]
bklyn@piefed.social · 6 pts · 266d

Domestically, it’s the ATF that does this

Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 265d

Good damn it! This is the final straw!! Give me two or three more of those beers and then we're going to fucking riot!

oopsgodisdeadmybad@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 265d (1 reply)

I want a set of good terrorists to quietly just destroy all the breweries and replace them with just farms for chronic.

See how abusive crimes and DUIs settle down.

Yes, you can drive impaired from it too, but you wouldn't have such a high rate of people losing their judgement and forgetting not to drive, that sorta thing.

obsoleteacct@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 264d

We did alcohol prohibition in the US once. I wouldn't describe the effect on crime as "settled down". A more apt description might be "St Valentine's Day Massacre".

slothrop@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 266d

laced with nicotine

krooklochurm@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 265d

The beer is putting chemicals in the cia to make them want you every day.

Someone8765210932@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 264d

There is a funny German song about this: Versengold - Im Bier sind Dinge drin

What I like about this song is that it also works as an argument against all this microchipping none sens, while being funny. If some world government really wanted to chip you, why not put it in beer, or the water supply, or food, etc. They do control all that stuff, you know.

Not that it makes much sense to put microchips in random people anyway, when almost everyone buys and carries a perfect surveillance suite with them everywhere. They even pay for the data and upgrade them to be faster once every few years. The inmates are financing the prison.

Oh, and of course, the same morons crying about microchips in vaccines are also uploading their stupid opinions to all kinds of websites on purpose.

It makes perfect sense for the shadow world government to put expensive microchips in vaccines, instead of just using the smartphones and smartwatches everyone paid for with their hard-earned money via their direct link to google, facebook and apple servers.

Sorry, I got a bit off-topic. Stupid conspiracy theories that make no sense at all are a big pet peeve of mine. Here are the translated lyrics for the song in bad formatting, if you're interested:

There are things in beer (Lyrics) I've long suspected That drinking beer does something to me Because more often than not I do really stupid things when I'm slightly tipsy

But now I know it's not me I can't really help it Instead of responsibility, I have genius A conspiracy theory

There are things in beer, well, things like that That make me cheerful and slightly tipsy Yes, there are things in it and that makes sense The government arranged it that way

Yes, chemtrails are expensive and out If you want to control the people, you brew Just one sip of beer And Bill Gates has already chipped you

The internet has revealed it And I, a horny guy, have checked it out A sleeping sheep, anyone who doesn't rant about it We're all being vaccinated by swallowing

There are things in beer, well, things like that They make me feel good and slightly tipsy Yes, there are things in it and that makes sense The government arranged it that way

So much for the purity law My beer is my daily bread And that's why I know for sure Because I'm super smart

There are things in beer, well, things like that They're definitely to blame for me still being single Yes, there are things in it, and that makes sense

The state arranged it that way There are things in beer, well, things like that They do this and that and give you a double chin on the side

Take a closer look, palim palim palim We're all being controlled

Godric@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 265d

Joke's on them, the knowers boof hard liqour everyday to spook the spooks!

stiffyGlitch@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 254d

cant believe they do this

also they totally are full of 5G tracking chips

Worx@lemmynsfw.com · 1 pts · 266d

First good thing the CIA have ever done

(JK, beer is nasty and fruity cider is much nicer)