🤨❔️

414 points · 26 comments · view on lemmy.world

26 Comments

DagwoodIII@piefed.social · 41 pts · 238d (16 replies)

Nope.

It's a sin because every sperm is sacred and should only be used for one purpose.

Any sex act that isn't cismale trying to impregnate a cisfemale is a sin.

That's according to them.

Lumidaub@feddit.org · 27 pts · 238d (8 replies)

What if no sperm is involved at all?

TexasDrunk@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 238d

That's my vasectomy loophole! I can now bang anyone I want because the boys are locked down.

SinningStromgald@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 238d (6 replies)

No sperm means no ejaculation for you, ever.

Lumidaub@feddit.org · 17 pts · 238d (2 replies)

Yes. I wouldn't know where to ejaculate from anyway. I hear some other humans have similar anatomic peculiarities. So me having sex with one (or several) of them would be fine?

Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 238d

Apparently Romans 1:26 implies it's not, according to antilesbian folks, but having read it carefully I say, as long as it's natural to you, it should be fine. Not that I give a shit what Paul has to say about what I do with my body.

SpikesOtherDog@ani.social · 2 pts · 237d

Just use your nipples.

tburkhol@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 238d (2 replies)

Vasectomy.

Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 238d (1 reply)

People who have had vasectomies still ejaculate. The ejaculate just doesn't contain any sperm.

humanamerican@lemmy.zip · 14 pts · 238d

The phrase is "every sperm is sacred", not "every ounce of semen is sacred"

TheTechnician27@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 238d (1 reply)

Got it. Have gay sex, then felch, then transplant. Just as God intended.

humanamerican@lemmy.zip · 9 pts · 238d

Have my grossed out upvote please

Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 9 pts · 238d

So what you're saying is that if a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate?

You mean that every sperm is needed in your neighborhood?

damnthefilibuster@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 238d

Also, that’s why they don’t call it sex. They call it sodomy. Which according to them is a sin.

Townlately@feddit.nl · 1 pts · 238d (2 replies)

Please don't nocturnal emish

stray@pawb.social · 5 pts · 238d (1 reply)

I spent a moment trying to remember who Emish is in the Bible before realizing.

edgemaster72@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 238d

I think they're related to that pop singer, Billie Emish

^/j^

mydoomlessaccount@infosec.pub · 21 pts · 238d (2 replies)

"Thou shalt not lay with a man as thou would a woman."

But, if you're a gay man, you wouldn't want to lay with a woman.

So, if you have sex with a man, it wouldn't be "as thou would [lay with] a woman," since thou wouldn't lay with women in the first place.

So, see? It was never a sin!

(Gets more complicated when you're bi, but I think if you only bottom for men and top for women- or vice-versa- it probably still works out)

bdonvr@thelemmy.club · 7 pts · 238d

That's also why I don't lay with them. We get in the sex swing

GalacticSushi@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 4 pts · 236d

I believe some translations say something along the lines of "if a man lays with a man as he would a woman, he must be stoned." So just take a good, long rip from the bong beforehand and you're golden.

winkly@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 238d

It’s not gay if your penises touch inside a woman.

cerebralhawks@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 8 pts · 238d (1 reply)

Wasn’t that the justification the Greeks used in ancient times? Sex with the wife at home and with the guys at the coliseum or wherever for fun or sport…?

BagOfHeavyStones@piefed.social · 11 pts · 238d

And commerce...

saltnotsugar@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 238d

We need more sex lawyers.

Fleur_@aussie.zone · 1 pts · 235d

It's called sodomy

DarkCloud@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 238d

If God doesn't exist, then maybe we should all find our own ethical standards to live by.