And then I'm ordering eggs and hash browns at 3 am, will proceed to drink 13 cups of bad, weak coffee with excessive amounts of cream and sugar, and I will like it
Here's a fun way to learn about an American you just met. Take em to Waffle House!
If they're a judgmental asshole, never speak to them again, trust me. Let them get back to their $23 hamburger spot that charges for subpar ketchup they call "gourmet".
No one worth a moment of my time shits on Waffle House or feels uncomfortable there. Not one person.
Whoops, forgot to say the other ways it's fun to get to know someone. If they've never been, it's a great neutral litmus test to see what they're like.
If they've been, they might have fun stories 😅 All my best friends have fun Waffle House stories.
I live in SoCal but my coworkers and I frequently have to go to our Georgia branch. The Waffle House there has become legendary; we insist that all new hires visit on their first trip. You will level up at Waffle House.
I can tell you the license plate numbers of all six cars outside. I can tell you that our waitress is left-handed and the guy sitting up at the counter weighs two hundred and fifteen pounds and knows how to handle himself. I know the best place to look for a gun is the cab of the gray truck outside, and at this altitude, I can run flat out for a half mile before my hands start shaking. Now why would I know that? How can I know that and not know who I am?
Exactly. You enter, turn left, enter another door, and the counter is on your right. A thin woman in her 40's that has definitely seen someone die tells you to sit wherever you want, and treats you significantly better than you deserve.
And then you treat that lady right, you thank her for your hash browns and your 2am coffee, and you enjoy your evening because this was the best choice of the night
I watched a youtube a while back that posited a version of the Bourne Identity where we see the whole thing from Jason's perspective only, learning things as he learns them, going on that journey with him. And it honestly feels like the version of the movie that should have been, but never was.
The fuck? Waffle House is a goddamn delight. Things occasionally go off the rails 2-3 AM or whatever thanks to rambunctious drunks. By and large it's efficient, cheap, consistently delicious "greasy spoon" diner food. Made by competent folks who don't take shit.
Anthony Bourdain loved it, I mean really what more do ya need to know.
32 Comments
blarghly@lemmy.world · 23 pts · 216d
And then I'm ordering eggs and hash browns at 3 am, will proceed to drink 13 cups of bad, weak coffee with excessive amounts of cream and sugar, and I will like it
PolarKraken@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 20 pts · 216d
Here's a fun way to learn about an American you just met. Take em to Waffle House!
If they're a judgmental asshole, never speak to them again, trust me. Let them get back to their $23 hamburger spot that charges for subpar ketchup they call "gourmet".
No one worth a moment of my time shits on Waffle House or feels uncomfortable there. Not one person.
Whoops, forgot to say the other ways it's fun to get to know someone. If they've never been, it's a great neutral litmus test to see what they're like.
If they've been, they might have fun stories 😅 All my best friends have fun Waffle House stories.
remotedev@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 215d
Hell I grew up in southern California and have wafflehouse stories from the handful of times I've been to one when visiting family in the south.
explodicle@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 215d
I live in SoCal but my coworkers and I frequently have to go to our Georgia branch. The Waffle House there has become legendary; we insist that all new hires visit on their first trip. You will level up at Waffle House.
brbposting@sh.itjust.works · 18 pts · 216d
I can tell you the license plate numbers of all six cars outside. I can tell you that our waitress is left-handed and the guy sitting up at the counter weighs two hundred and fifteen pounds and knows how to handle himself. I know the best place to look for a gun is the cab of the gray truck outside, and at this altitude, I can run flat out for a half mile before my hands start shaking. Now why would I know that? How can I know that and not know who I am?
EvenOdds@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 216d
I really want to watch that movie again now. Thanks for the quote!
arrow74@lemmy.zip · 16 pts · 216d
Looking for an exit?
They're all exactly the same. If you've been in a waffle house once you've been in them all
Assassassin@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 28 pts · 216d
Exactly. You enter, turn left, enter another door, and the counter is on your right. A thin woman in her 40's that has definitely seen someone die tells you to sit wherever you want, and treats you significantly better than you deserve.
PolarKraken@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 216d
Pure poetry. There aren't many things to celebrate in the US anymore, but they'll never take Waffle House from us. A true national treasure.
captainlezbian@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 216d
And then you treat that lady right, you thank her for your hash browns and your 2am coffee, and you enjoy your evening because this was the best choice of the night
iiiisisisi@sh.itjust.works · 15 pts · 216d
qevlarr@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 216d
That movie is so fucking good, now I want to watch it again. Thanks for reminding me this masterpiece exists
Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works · 12 pts · 216d
Hot take but I preferred Waffle House III
anomnom@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 216d
The villains are always natural disasters but the Waffle House always wins.
Tiger@sh.itjust.works · 10 pts · 216d
I really wish they hadn’t killed off the girl in the sequel, she was amazing
tiramichu@sh.itjust.works · 11 pts · 216d
I watched a youtube a while back that posited a version of the Bourne Identity where we see the whole thing from Jason's perspective only, learning things as he learns them, going on that journey with him. And it honestly feels like the version of the movie that should have been, but never was.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RdcSFsQRsnc
sparkles@piefed.zip · 11 pts · 216d
Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 216d
Perverts row
Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 216d
This young man is looking to get out of a waffle house if a crisis arises. I only go to a waffle house if a crisis arises.
eestileib@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 8 pts · 216d
Do not scorn the Waffle House, for it fed me when I was drunk and ratty-assed, and so it will feed you.
scttgard@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 216d
Do not mess with Waffle House staff, they have seen some shit and you would just be encouraging them to release pent up frustrations.
Agent641@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 216d
I heard about a hostage situation at waffle house once. Except the staff were the hostage-takers.
OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 216d
“If it’s your first time at Waffle House, you have to fight.”
samus12345@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 216d
PolarKraken@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 7 pts · 216d
The fuck? Waffle House is a goddamn delight. Things occasionally go off the rails 2-3 AM or whatever thanks to rambunctious drunks. By and large it's efficient, cheap, consistently delicious "greasy spoon" diner food. Made by competent folks who don't take shit.
Anthony Bourdain loved it, I mean really what more do ya need to know.
khannie@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 216d
Waffle House is definitely on my bucket list. Anywhere that isn't rambunctious at those hours isn't worth eating in at those hours.
PolarKraken@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 216d
Cheers! As long as you know what you're in for, you're gonna love it.
Nanowith@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 216d
As a European? Why is it waffles that cause the behaviour I've heard about this place?
captainlezbian@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 216d
It's the only place open after the bars close and the food is still remarkably cheap
BuboScandiacus@mander.xyz · 2 pts · 215d
What’s the movie ?
Fiery@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 6 pts · 215d
One of the Jason Bourne movies, I think the first one but not 100% sure
TheColonel@reddthat.com · 4 pts · 215d
I’m sure. It’s the first one.
FauxLiving@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 216d
Waffle House's PR team is tougher than kitchen staff it seems
captainlezbian@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 216d
Weak. You sit there and know the waitress has stabbed someone before and if you're pleasant to her you'll be fine.
Fuck I miss waffle house. Used to go there after nights out all the time when I lived in their range