Lara Trump reveals president has speech ready to announce the discovery of aliens

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/lara-trump-alien-discovery-obama-b2922790.html

Trump had better hope those extraterrestials aren't in the Epstein files too, or this distraction from them is going to backfire.

37 points · 24 comments · view on lemmy.world

24 Comments

IntrovertTurtle@lemmy.zip · 26 pts · 183d (1 reply)

Then he'll announce that they live among us, and we have to find them and deport them out of our American Milky Way.

Then he'll just claim that the liberal woke mind virus and Trump derangement syndrome are indicators and have even more people stuffed into concentration camps.

whyNotSquirrel@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 183d

also: it's them who raped all those childs

Asmodeus_Krang@infosec.pub · 23 pts · 183d (1 reply)
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supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz · 7 pts · 183d

The hardest workers are workers who are terrified to be whisked away to a prison in a country they have never even been to!

phutatorius@lemmy.zip · 16 pts · 183d

Well, that's conclusive evidence that it's bullshit.

Treczoks@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 183d

He'll drop it when critical sections from the Epstein files will surface.

Catma@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 183d (2 replies)

This feels like the most normal thing ever. I feel Obama, and Biden both at the least had some speeches pre written if aliens were found. Probably with interchangable lines if they were hostile or not. Like you dont wanna wing that.

Mirshe@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 183d (1 reply)

Same as "President has speech for if astronauts die on Moon". Pretty easy to prep ahead and simply fill in the blanks, so to speak.

ScrollerBall@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 183d

Link to Nixon's for those that have never read it.

BenderRodriguez@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 183d
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Almacca@aussie.zone · 8 pts · 182d

I thought he was trying to deport all the aliens.

Eternal192@anarchist.nexus · 7 pts · 183d (4 replies)

I think we've already seen them, they all look like skinsuits so will he be introducing him and his family?

dhork@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 183d (3 replies)

No, they're all at 10 Downing Street. I learned that from that esteemed British documentary, Doctor Who....

Eternal192@anarchist.nexus · 3 pts · 183d (2 replies)

Oh damn hah, i haven't watched in a while, what was the name Slitheen or something?

Almacca@aussie.zone · 1 pts · 182d (1 reply)

By their farting shall we know them.

Eternal192@anarchist.nexus · 2 pts · 182d

Ye but Trump ain't farting he straight up shits himself.

deHaga@feddit.uk · 6 pts · 183d (1 reply)
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IntrovertTurtle@lemmy.zip · 6 pts · 183d
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Lasherz12@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 183d (1 reply)

Is that the final chapter of the epstein files? I'd almost prefer the perpetrators be aliens so we can finally have some smoke for those who deserve it instead of folks trying to make ends meet.

supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz · 5 pts · 183d

Will there be a final chapter to the Epstein files or will it be a Wheel Of Time series thing where it just goes on and on with each new plot point seeming to trounce the last one in severity of existential dread until the reader is hopelessly lost?

Not2Dopey@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 181d

He'll do absolutely anything to take the attention away from the Epstein files

santa@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 183d

Ffs. He will say anything. Like aliens exist is some wild idea or something. Will he prove it with some AI generated meme or show us an alien wearing a maga hat?

To conclude we are the only living being in the Universe is statistically naive.

smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 183d

Oh boy, is ICE going to get busy now.

Headofthebored@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 183d (1 reply)

I don't think aliens want anything to do with this dumpster fire. What would we even have that they would need at their technology level anyway? Seriously, it doesn't make sense that they would even care about us beyond maybe some light scientific study.

supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz · 2 pts · 183d

Idk after having watched Star Trek a lot all I can tell you is they probably want to have sex with Riker.

devolution@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 181d

They are so desperate to undercut Obama that they can't even pick up on the fact that he was being sarcastic.

goferking0@lemmy.sdf.org · 1 pts · 183d (1 reply)

What president doesn't have a speech for any and every occasion?

Almacca@aussie.zone · 1 pts · 182d

Don prefers to wing it. Or do 'the weave' as he calls it, except he never gets back to the point.