They come from pregnant semi-trucks. The truck pulls up to a birthing port at a Supermarket when it's time. Then highly skilled Supermarket staff peel away the brown protective cover and place the baby cheezits on a shelf for you to adopt.
They're a type of algae. They're crunchy because they're pressed into mats, dehydrated, seasoned, and baked. Surprisingly, the orange color is completely natural. Toxic if ingested over long periods, but natural.
You even seen an old school ice machine? They run water over a cold waffle-looking plate, it freezes, and then the ice on the waffle falls and breaks into little squares.
Cheezits are made in machines like that. Liquid cheezit runs over the waffle, solidifies, falls off and breaks into little squares. The liquid itself is milked straight from domesticated cheezit emus. Ten to fifteen men die each year milking the emus to deliver the fresh taste of Cheezit to you.
26 Comments
RickeySpanish@lemmus.org · 18 pts · 161d
They come from a vine like corn
hperrin@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 161d
What can I get Cheezits on the cob?
erusuoyera@sh.itjust.works · 10 pts · 161d
They're a legume. They grow in pods.
Zier@fedia.io · 8 pts · 161d
They come from pregnant semi-trucks. The truck pulls up to a birthing port at a Supermarket when it's time. Then highly skilled Supermarket staff peel away the brown protective cover and place the baby cheezits on a shelf for you to adopt.
hperrin@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 161d
That actually makes them sound cute.
The_Lurker@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 161d
They're a type of algae. They're crunchy because they're pressed into mats, dehydrated, seasoned, and baked. Surprisingly, the orange color is completely natural. Toxic if ingested over long periods, but natural.
over_clox@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 161d
They're paint scrapings from old red barns, that have been sunbleached orange. Gotta love that old lead taste 👍
mouse@piefed.world · 7 pts · 161d
What's a Cheezit?
Dyskolos@lemmy.zip · -5 pts · 160d
Paranoidfactoid@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 161d
Triumph@fedia.io · 5 pts · 161d
They use nets to collect them from the sea. Make sure your cheezits are dolphin safe.
hperrin@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 161d
Then how come in the Duoz boxes, they mix both the freshwater cheezits and the saltwater cheezits?
Triumph@fedia.io · 4 pts · 161d
Freshwater cheezits are line caught, making them more costly to produce. The net caught ones are cheaper.
I think you can find "all freshwater" cheezits, but they're going to be more expensive.
Ioughttamow@fedia.io · 3 pts · 161d
Brackish cheezits?
dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 5 pts · 161d
cheezits are squeezits out of zeetits
Kolanaki@pawb.social · 5 pts · 161d
They're made with real cheese; but they never tell you that it's fromunda cheese.
mouse@piefed.world · 5 pts · 161d
What's fromunda cheese?
Kolanaki@pawb.social · 6 pts · 161d
Cheese fromunda deez nuts.
Pat_Riot@lemmy.today · 5 pts · 160d
Got'im
homes@piefed.world · 5 pts · 161d
They are dandruff, from a unicorn
gigastasio@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 161d
You even seen an old school ice machine? They run water over a cold waffle-looking plate, it freezes, and then the ice on the waffle falls and breaks into little squares.
Cheezits are made in machines like that. Liquid cheezit runs over the waffle, solidifies, falls off and breaks into little squares. The liquid itself is milked straight from domesticated cheezit emus. Ten to fifteen men die each year milking the emus to deliver the fresh taste of Cheezit to you.
hperrin@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 161d
Cheemus.
FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 160d
They come from clams, like pearls
JetpackJackson@feddit.org · 4 pts · 161d
It's actually tree bark! Very few people know that though
HeartyOfGlass@piefed.social · 4 pts · 161d
I get mine from the store
JakoJakoJako13@piefed.social · 4 pts · 161d
Frozen milk from meteorites is unfrozen then pulverized to a cream and then baked with pure potato extract.
DudeImMacGyver@kbin.earth · 2 pts · 161d
They grow like wheat Have you never seen a Cheeze-it thresher?