no my high school marching band had a reputation for shitting beds. they hired a dude with ibs just to make sure they could get all the beds they needed shat
Is the "punchline" to that type of saying about a demographic you don't like, with the added implication of why you're doing something else that night.
This is going to sound like and excuse, but the ghost of Hitler pour lemonade in my gas tank.
Also:
I can't go because the cricket team is having a nervous breakdown.
Commonwealth's peeps tell me I'd this isn't just a normal state of affairs? Something along the lines of Hockey players getting into fights, and American footballers having concussions?
27 Comments
rizzothesmall@sh.itjust.works · 41 pts · 158d
Get this: The Pope gave me syphilis
ceenote@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 158d
If I tell them a high school marching band gave me syphilis, I'll end up in prison.
Soup@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 157d
Don’t worry, it’s sitcom rules so everyone involved was 18 for some reason. It doesn’t make it a lot better, true, but it does make it not a felony.
j_elgato@leminal.space · 1 pts · 158d
I got it from Dan Rather...
Zachariah@lemmy.world · 31 pts · 158d
Or just tell them why your car isn’t working:
Agrivar@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 158d
This is going to sound crazy but the ghost of Hitler died in front of me.
Ghostie@lemmy.zip · 16 pts · 158d
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 157d
no my high school marching band had a reputation for shitting beds. they hired a dude with ibs just to make sure they could get all the beds they needed shat
ToastedRavioli@midwest.social · 14 pts · 158d
I know youre going to hate me, but the ghost of hitler posted my nudes on instagram
mogoh@lemmy.ml · 14 pts · 158d
dharmacurious@slrpnk.net · 12 pts · 158d
I know you're going to hate me, but the kid from air Bud gave me syphilis
.... I do not like this game
Dazharion@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 5 pts · 158d
It's like I don't even know you
dharmacurious@slrpnk.net · 2 pts · 158d
... I'll take the antibiotics
myrrh@ttrpg.network · 1 pts · 157d
Postmortal_Pop@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 158d
Et tu, tromboner?
Klear@quokk.au · 8 pts · 158d
Please forgive my absence, my Tinder date found my box of human teeth.
Jimbabwe@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 158d
This is going to sound like an excuse, but Dan Rather found my box of human teeth 😬
Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de · 7 pts · 158d
Doesn't track. One less clown in the world, why feel terrible? (/s if it's not obvious).
givesomefucks@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 158d
Don't judge me:
/s
Is the "punchline" to that type of saying about a demographic you don't like, with the added implication of why you're doing something else that night.
Axolotl_cpp@feddit.it · 6 pts · 158d
Please forgive my absence, a professional cricket team stole my bicycle...
theroastedtoaster@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 158d
I was minding my own business and boom! My Tinder date poured lemonade in my gas tank
ceenote@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 158d
So, will there be a second date?
callyral@pawb.social · 3 pts · 158d
I feel terrible but a high school marching band stabbed me.
neonmagician@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 158d
Get this: the kid from Airbud stabbed me
mr_noxx@lemmy.ml · 3 pts · 158d
Kichae@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 158d
I regretfully cannot attend, the kid from Air Bud just shit the bed.
JayJLeas@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 158d
I feel terrible but the kid from Air Bud is having a nervous breakdown.
ravenaspiring@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 157d
This is going to sound like and excuse, but the ghost of Hitler pour lemonade in my gas tank.
Also: I can't go because the cricket team is having a nervous breakdown.
Commonwealth's peeps tell me I'd this isn't just a normal state of affairs? Something along the lines of Hockey players getting into fights, and American footballers having concussions?
grue@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 158d
I know youre going to hate me, but Dan Rather posted my nudes on instagram
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 157d
this is going to sound like an excuse but the ghost of Hitler just died in front of me. i gotta go.