Well you see, half the voters decided it would be a good idea to elect total outsiders with no relevant education or experience, whose only qualification was a willingness to say crazy shit out loud. The unqualified outsider-in-chief has now packed high-level offices with his favorite TV and podcast personalities, who also have no relevant education or experience but have made a living saying crazy shit out loud.
Anyone who was a party animal worth their reputation during their early twenties eventually ends up past midnight at a greasy spoon. Chowing down on comfort food trying to sober up and keep the contents of their stomach down. With them waking up in the morning hungover and little to no memory about what transpired over the course of the last twelve hours, give or take.
First you have Waffle House, then you stay up until the donut shops open at 4 cuz let’s be serious that’s only another half hour at this point. You get too many donuts, because who doesn’t want copious amounts of sugar and fat on a stomach full of alcohol? Also because you are drunk and they all look good. Then you crash, maybe with a half-eaten donut in your hand.
As a bonus, you wake up to something some people consider a breakfast food.
26 Comments
SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world · 76 pts · 173d
Yes, Gregg, we all know what blacking out is like.
I know some people that can help you with this.
https://smartrecovery.org/
voidsignal@lemmy.world · 58 pts · 173d
How can you pack so many high level idiots in a single country? truly a feat.
Hideakikarate@sh.itjust.works · 17 pts · 173d
It's easy when you kick out all the smart ones, or render their fields of study obsolete by ceasing to pay for their research, forcing them overseas.
garth@sh.itjust.works · 15 pts · 173d
Well you see, half the voters decided it would be a good idea to elect total outsiders with no relevant education or experience, whose only qualification was a willingness to say crazy shit out loud. The unqualified outsider-in-chief has now packed high-level offices with his favorite TV and podcast personalities, who also have no relevant education or experience but have made a living saying crazy shit out loud.
thorhop@sopuli.xyz · 17 pts · 173d
I bet he's gonna teleport away some funds.
balthazarsnakewizard@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 173d
Where does that land on the Waffle House Index?
Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 173d
Bout three fiddy
Bahnd@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 173d
A code red on the waffle house index would imply the resturant is gone. Clearly the teleporter is still working so it cant be that bad.
Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 12 pts · 173d
Being in Georgia, I mean.
TheBannedLemming@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 173d
Anyone who was a party animal worth their reputation during their early twenties eventually ends up past midnight at a greasy spoon. Chowing down on comfort food trying to sober up and keep the contents of their stomach down. With them waking up in the morning hungover and little to no memory about what transpired over the course of the last twelve hours, give or take.
ButteryMonkey@piefed.social · 3 pts · 173d
First you have Waffle House, then you stay up until the donut shops open at 4 cuz let’s be serious that’s only another half hour at this point. You get too many donuts, because who doesn’t want copious amounts of sugar and fat on a stomach full of alcohol? Also because you are drunk and they all look good. Then you crash, maybe with a half-eaten donut in your hand.
As a bonus, you wake up to something some people consider a breakfast food.
teyrnon@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 173d
Nothing is too stupid for 2026!
FelixCress@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 173d
I almost feel sorry for these sane USians who have to live there during Trump reign 🤣
Kintarian@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 173d
There’s a reason I live in a van out in the boonies
Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 7 pts · 173d
Please tell me that there's a river nearby
Kintarian@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 173d
Mostly the Sacramento River
Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 7 pts · 173d
Yes! I hereby declare you the second coming of Matt Foley!
Kintarian@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 173d
Wow, thanks, that’s quite the honor. I hope I can live up to his legacy.
MintyFresh@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 173d
I think the trick is copious amounts of cocaine!
Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 173d
Isn't it always? 🤷🏻
SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 173d
*down by the river
MintyFresh@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 173d
We prefer the term- Trumpistanians. Thank you very much
SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 173d
Ugh, they probably use digital clocks, too
niptuckmyballs@lemmychan.org · 6 pts · 173d
I find Ambien gives me the same abilities he's describing.
Unfortunately the effects are only temporary.
I haven't figured out how to teleport without Ambien, yet.
RaoulDook@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 173d
Next we'll have the ghost of Macho Man Randy Savage running a government agency
MojoMcJojo@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 173d
His car was lifted up and transported to a ditch 40 miles away...