In John, there's a wedding and the planners forgot to bring the booze, so Jesus tells some dudes to fill a bunch of casks with water, and then poof kablamo, they are made into wine via the power of Jesus being irritated.
There's certainly a lot of imagery and focus on the blood of Jesus in the Bible... but the whole transsubstantiation/consubstantiation thing is about ... the reverse of this, wine either transforming into, or metaphorically representing the blood of Christ.
I am... not aware of any part of the Bible nor sect/branch/denomination/church that teaches that Jesus at any point turns his blood into wine.
I don't think that even happens in any of the 'expanded universe' / Gnostic texts.
Some Christians (at least roman-catholic) celebrate communion, consuming 'bread' and wine that has been blessed.
According to them the bread and wine literally become body and blood of Christ.
That's the joke of the comic :)
Religion is more than just the book. Catholics literally believe that the wine at mass is literally Jesus' blood. This is a joke about them. Not about the book that their specific flavor of whatever is based on.
In the comic, Jesus isn't turning his blood into wine. He's simply tapping the vein.
Jesus' blood is naturally alcoholic. We know this because the transubstantiation turns the wine at mass into Jesus' blood, and THAT blood is alcoholic. The fact that the wine was originally alcoholic is completely unrelated. The priests could transubstantiate water into Jesus' blood, and it'd still be alcoholic.
That's assuming you actually believe in transubstantiation.
During the blessing at Mass, the priest says "...this is my blood...", quoting Christ at the Last Supper. when blessing the wine. You are overthinking it. I think the joke is that Jesus's blood is wine.
I love the implication that water could be turned into wine and that wine into blood. Arguably only if the first step happened before Jesus' death and the second after
Guy from Québec goes to southern US for work. Thick accent and very catholic. Befriends locals, but finds the trope about ignorance to be ... deserved.
At bar after work, locals try to explain Christianity to him. He plays dumb and trolls EXPERTLY.
Merican - So Jesus died for our sins and came back to life.
Qué: Like le zombie?
Merican: Well, no. Not like that. But he showed his friends the holes in his hands to prove it was him and he really died.
Qué: Oui! Like le zombie. Wounds on hands from 'ow he died and fleshrotting off face...
Merican: No no nothing like that.
Qué: But he died? (Yup) For real? (Yup) But got back up? (yes) With wounds. (Yes). So 'ow eez dis not like le zombie?
Merican: I'm just not explaining it well. (Story goes on) Gets to transubstantiation. Take this bread and eat of my flesh. Take this cup and drink of my blood ... and you shall have everlasting life.
Qué: Mais oui! You See. Like le zombie! He eat your flesh. I see many movie like dis.
Merican: No! Sorry, I'm not explaining it well. Jesus doesn't eat your flesh. He wants you to eat his, symbollically.
Qué: Ohhh! I see now. Everlasting life? (Yes) So zombie Jesus feed you his zombie flesh and blood, so you turn into zombie like him and be undead forever. Are all Americain in dis zombie cult?
Merican: 😬🥵 well, when you put it like that I guess it does sound pretty weird.
65 Comments
fiatcode@lemmy.ml · 68 pts · 141d
He could just use water from a well nearby, right?
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 38 pts · 140d
Yeah, I don't get this.
In John, there's a wedding and the planners forgot to bring the booze, so Jesus tells some dudes to fill a bunch of casks with water, and then poof kablamo, they are made into wine via the power of Jesus being irritated.
There's certainly a lot of imagery and focus on the blood of Jesus in the Bible... but the whole transsubstantiation/consubstantiation thing is about ... the reverse of this, wine either transforming into, or metaphorically representing the blood of Christ.
I am... not aware of any part of the Bible nor sect/branch/denomination/church that teaches that Jesus at any point turns his blood into wine.
I don't think that even happens in any of the 'expanded universe' / Gnostic texts.
In summary:
Wine -> Blood? Yes*.
Water -> Wine? Yes.
Blood -> Wine? No.
YesIAmHoomanNoCat@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 8 pts · 140d
Some Christians (at least roman-catholic) celebrate communion, consuming 'bread' and wine that has been blessed. According to them the bread and wine literally become body and blood of Christ. That's the joke of the comic :)
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 17 pts · 140d
Yes but that's backwards of what the comic is representing.
As I said... I don't think any kind of Christian believes that Jesus' blood ever turns into wine.
That doesn't happen anywhere in the text.
So... the joke is... based off of a thing that doesn't happen?
It would be like making a joke based off the idea that Moses can summon floods.
He can't. He's never shown to be able to do that, he's shown to be a water bender who can move water out of the way, but not generate it.
Vandalismo@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 139d
When Jesus categorically says "This is my blood" though
surewhynotlem@lemmy.world · -1 pts · 140d
Religion is more than just the book. Catholics literally believe that the wine at mass is literally Jesus' blood. This is a joke about them. Not about the book that their specific flavor of whatever is based on.
prettybunnys@piefed.social · 3 pts · 140d
The literally believe the blessing of the Eucharist turns the wine into the blood of their nailed god.
Not that the blood of Christ turns into wine.
Hope this helps.
surewhynotlem@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 140d
And then that wine is like 25 proof. ergo, his blood is 25 proof.
Zoot@reddthat.com · 1 pts · 138d
No catholic is taught this line of thinking.
MML@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 140d
Nailed God, yeah, I'm stealing this
village604@adultswim.fan · 2 pts · 140d
The wine turns into Jesus's blood when the priest blesses it.
This comic is the complete opposite of that.
surewhynotlem@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 140d
I can't believe I'm arguing this..
In the comic, Jesus isn't turning his blood into wine. He's simply tapping the vein.
Jesus' blood is naturally alcoholic. We know this because the transubstantiation turns the wine at mass into Jesus' blood, and THAT blood is alcoholic. The fact that the wine was originally alcoholic is completely unrelated. The priests could transubstantiate water into Jesus' blood, and it'd still be alcoholic.
That's assuming you actually believe in transubstantiation.
lugal@sopuli.xyz · 2 pts · 140d
There are people who celebrate Eucharist with grape juice and it doesn't turn alcoholic. It's not that transubstantiation makes it alcoholic.
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 0 pts · 140d
Look, I'm not Catholic or any kind of Christian, but...
Catholics do not believe that Jesus' blood turns into wine.
So... acting like they do... is just trolling, basically.
Its not a joke, because it doesn't stem from a thing that someone actually believes.
It is simply asserting that someone believes a thing they do not... which is trolling.
There are a vast plethora of ludicrous things that varying kinds of Christians believe are literally true, that you could make an actual joke out of.
prettybunnys@piefed.social · 2 pts · 140d
https://www.usccb.org/eucharist
Mesophar@pawb.social · 3 pts · 140d
That is the opposite of this though, like all the other comments are trying to explain.
Eucharist = wine and bread turning into Christ's blood and flesh
Comic = Christ's blood turning into wine
How are so many people getting that backwards? Are you all trolling?
ZombieChicken@reddthat.com · 5 pts · 140d
During the blessing at Mass, the priest says "...this is my blood...", quoting Christ at the Last Supper. when blessing the wine. You are overthinking it. I think the joke is that Jesus's blood is wine.
lugal@sopuli.xyz · 1 pts · 140d
I love the implication that water could be turned into wine and that wine into blood. Arguably only if the first step happened before Jesus' death and the second after
slazer2au@lemmy.world · 62 pts · 141d
All hail the artists mark!
CapuccinoCoretto@lemmy.world · 37 pts · 140d
A favourite prank - True Story:
Guy from Québec goes to southern US for work. Thick accent and very catholic. Befriends locals, but finds the trope about ignorance to be ... deserved.
At bar after work, locals try to explain Christianity to him. He plays dumb and trolls EXPERTLY.
village604@adultswim.fan · 15 pts · 140d
My mom never appreciates me wishing her a happy Zombie Jesus Day on Easter.
Arghblarg@lemmy.ca · 19 pts · 141d
He could've just peed into a jug instead, and then turned that into wine, right? I mean, it's mostly water.
OpenStars@piefed.social · 9 pts · 140d
So are people...
Akasazh@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 140d
I saw this comic once where Jesus could turn that water into wine, thereby effectively killing people.
OpenStars@piefed.social · 1 pts · 139d
What a way to go though... drunk AF and a great story to tell in the afterlife about how you died. :-P
samus12345@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 140d
Wonder what they would have called Data? Still ugly, of course, but he's certainly not a bag of mostly water!
wolframhydroxide@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 140d
Are you sure that his bodily systems aren't heat-sunk with water as a coolant?
samus12345@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 140d
Possible, although it's never been revealed. He's always looked very dry when opened up.
wolframhydroxide@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 140d
True, though any engineer capable of the delicate manufacture of a positronic brain should be a master of cable management.
OpenStars@piefed.social · 2 pts · 140d
SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 141d
For that matter, so is wine ...
brsrklf@jlai.lu · 2 pts · 140d
If Jesus turns the water in wine to wine, what do you get?
gnutrino@programming.dev · 3 pts · 140d
Brandy?
SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 140d
Stronger wine
fleem@piefed.zeromedia.vip · 2 pts · 140d
event horizon
OpenStars@piefed.social · 2 pts · 140d
Wine-ception.
prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 140d
Don't be silly, Jesus didn't pee, he was the lamb of God. Or some stupid shit.
Geobloke@aussie.zone · 12 pts · 141d
Did anyone bright snacks?
Wait a minute! Jes...
samus12345@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 140d
"And some bread to go with it."
SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 140d
"and don't spill my seed on the ground"
samus12345@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 140d
Let the heathens spill theirs on the dusty ground
Beep@lemmus.org · -61 pts · 140d
You forget to remove the ad, friends don't infest each other screens with ads.
No worries thou, I did it for you:
Trex202@lemmy.world · 33 pts · 140d
Beep@lemmus.org · -29 pts · 140d
Why did you use JPG instead of transperant PNG or even SVG?
village604@adultswim.fan · 8 pts · 140d
It's visible in both light and dark mode.
Lumidaub@feddit.org · 4 pts · 140d
Maybe they disagree with png.
Karl@literature.cafe · 17 pts · 140d
Hey, that's not cool. Always show the artist
BakedCookie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 17 pts · 140d
You are insufferable
Tigeroovy@lemmy.ca · 11 pts · 140d
Are you actually this dense or is this some weird unfunny bit you’ve committed yourself to?
Lumidaub@feddit.org · 3 pts · 140d
The thing is, without the margin it also looks like crap layout-wise. Like an even worse crop than it already is.