This is because 'boy' and 'girl' are genders, assortments of traits and behaviors roughly deliniated by society: They are performances of an archetype of a character.

'Person' is not. A person is ... basically just a sentient and sapient entity.

Thus 'good' as a modifier, when attached to boy/girl is a claim about how good you are at essentially acting, whereas 'good' attached to person is much more broad, and refers to ethics more broadly.

Different categories of things tend to be judged in different ways.

nutbutter@discuss.tchncs.de · 10 pts · 132d (20 replies)

Serious question... What is a gender neutral term for sir or ma'am? Like if I am writing a formal letter or email and I want to start with "hello sir/ma'am" or something. What should I write?

ComicalMayhem@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 132d (7 replies)

I've seen some discussion around magister with the short form mage and the abbreviation mg. Allegedly both ms and mr come from the Latin root that magister comes from, so lexically it makes sense.

I suppose just avoiding gender and professionalism altogether is better though. Instead of "Hello sir," a polite "Good afternoon" could suffice. Instead of "Excuse me miss" just "Excuse me."

Or call everyone comrade.

Edit: oh yeah, twin. There's been a lot of people calling others twin.

NaibofTabr@infosec.pub · 12 pts · 132d (1 reply)

I've seen some discussion around magister with the short form mage and the abbreviation mg. Allegedly both ms and mr come from the Latin root that magister comes from, so lexically it makes sense.

No one is going to start a professional email "Dear mage" and be taken seriously, no matter how linked the etymology.

I suppose just avoiding gender and professionalism altogether is better though. Instead of "Hello sir," a polite "Good afternoon" could suffice.

"To whom it may concern..."

CorrenteAlternata@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 131d

Well, unless you're writing to an actual mage. As in a magician, wizard, sorcerer, witch, warlock or mystic.

lvxferre@mander.xyz · 5 pts · 132d (4 replies)

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sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 131d (3 replies)

Only thing I can think of is 'Honorable' as what judges get as a formal title... its gender neutral, but waaaaaay too formal.

'Esteemed' is... yeah, similar, but also imo is so formal and rarely used seriously that it essentially comes across as camp, sarcastic.

I would genuinely just suggest English borrow a gender neutral term from another language.

That would be... on brand for English.

Possibly we could bastardize a Japanese honorific / suffix?

-san

-sama

-tono

-ue

???

Just fuck it up and put it in front of a name?

... There are probably too many weaboos this would significantly anger...

-tono in particular I find very funny, as it essentially literally is "m'they'dy" from another comment, in Japanese.

lvxferre@mander.xyz · 2 pts · 131d (2 replies)

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sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 131d (1 reply)

I totally follow what you mean, but part of me wants to reiterate bastardize.

The English language has certainly taken words from other languages and just... bent them totally beyond their original meaning/usage, to the point of breaking.

But another part of me simultaneously cringes at just, doing that intentionally.

sigh

lvxferre@mander.xyz · 2 pts · 131d

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applebusch@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 13 pts · 132d (1 reply)

m'theydy

sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 132d

That's hilarious lol.

Skullgrid@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 132d (1 reply)

"to whom it may concern"

sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 132d

'hey, dumbass:'

lasta@piefed.world · 7 pts · 132d

In some cases a title or relation to you could work, like doctor, professor, whatever department they are in, dear reader/patient/customer.

Or you could omit gendered references altogether and use a general greetings (hello/greetings, good morning/afternoon/evening).

fun_times@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 132d (2 replies)

Here in Sweden we just don't use Sir/Madam at all. Everyone refers to each other by their first name, even in professional settings.

nutbutter@discuss.tchncs.de · 2 pts · 132d (1 reply)

That's awesome! But what if you don't know the name of the person you are sending an email to?

blujan@sopuli.xyz · 5 pts · 131d

You say the relationship they have to you.

Dear/appreciated/esteemed customer/supplier/team/hiring manager/director/boss/title

samus12345@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 131d

English doesn't have an officially agreed-upon term for that yet. "Esteemed being" just doesn't flow that well.

sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 132d

While this is obviously biased in one way, the old norm used to be to just default to 'Sir' when you're not sure.

You can see echoes of this in the way that many, many old writings use 'man' or 'mankind' to refer to just all people, all humans.

Certainly many of the people that spoke that way were themselves patriarchal, but very often the contrextual use of man/mankind is actually gender neutral.

You can also see echoes of the 'default to Sir' thing in the US Military: Everyone is a 'Sir', when you're showing respect to a higher rank, regardless of their sex or gender.

But uh yeah at least personally myself, I've been writing 'Dear Sir/Ma'am' or something like that, when I don't know the gender of ... the person my letter or email is going to end up at.

There have been various proposals for a gender neutral honorific title, but afaik, none of them have stuck and gotten widely adopted.

Grail@multiverse.soulism.net · 2 pts · 132d (1 reply)

I use M. It's a gender neutral title. I got the idea from The Culture.

Zagorath@quokk.au · 4 pts · 132d

M works well as an alternative to Mr/Ms/Mrs, but I don't think it works well as an alternative to Sir/Ma'am.

MadameBisaster@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 9 pts · 131d (1 reply)

Have I been a good pet

InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 131d

Yes 😌

dukeofdummies@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 131d (2 replies)

This is why I propose we just make guy gender neutral. I feel like it's already half way there.

baka@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 131d

I think it's good but its a big ask for some people

ddplf@szmer.info · 1 pts · 131d

Isn't it already? When you approach a group of people and say "Hey guys", I don't think that women would feel excluded.

I have to say though, when I hear "I know a guy...", first thing I see in my mind definitely is a man. But I think that's fine, that's just my default.

Gay is also gender neutral btw

Paradachshund@lemmy.today · 4 pts · 132d (4 replies)

"Have I been a good kid" hits better imo

merde@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 132d (1 reply)

"have i been good" would suffice, no?

but then you should ask "what is good?" and "why should i care if i am good or not?"

or furthermore, you may ask why would you try not to define your gender through a binary frame while sticking to a good/bad dichotomy🤦

Paradachshund@lemmy.today · 3 pts · 132d

I was just thinking that kid is more analogous to girl and boy than person is.

NaibofTabr@infosec.pub · 4 pts · 132d