I was at the restaurant when I learned of a Tailor who makes shoes out of raisins instead of leather and I got so excited I ran out on my bill and drove as fast as I could to the Tailor to get my hands on some of those sweet raisin shoes. When I got there he had several live mice in a bowl of ice all jamming out to rat in a cage by smashing pumpkins and then suddenly they erupted in laughter and ate my brand new raisin shoes. The tailor then charged me 1800$ for the shoes and refused to validate my parking so I got a 500$ fine. So I went home to my wife and told her we have to sell her car because the ice mice ate the raisin shoes I paid for and we can't afford her car payments anymore. She stared me right in the eyes and immediately pounced on me and we made the most passionate love we'd ever made. It absolutely saved our marriage and with our new found passion we started a couple's only fans and made 5200$ in our first month.
After making enough money to buy her a new car she left me for a woman who dresses as Bozo the clown for a living. Every now and then we have a three-way but I just really really want a pair of raisin shoes.
20 Comments
MacaqueAndCheese@lemmy.ca · 19 pts · 72d
I was at the restaurant when I learned of a Tailor who makes shoes out of raisins instead of leather and I got so excited I ran out on my bill and drove as fast as I could to the Tailor to get my hands on some of those sweet raisin shoes. When I got there he had several live mice in a bowl of ice all jamming out to rat in a cage by smashing pumpkins and then suddenly they erupted in laughter and ate my brand new raisin shoes. The tailor then charged me 1800$ for the shoes and refused to validate my parking so I got a 500$ fine. So I went home to my wife and told her we have to sell her car because the ice mice ate the raisin shoes I paid for and we can't afford her car payments anymore. She stared me right in the eyes and immediately pounced on me and we made the most passionate love we'd ever made. It absolutely saved our marriage and with our new found passion we started a couple's only fans and made 5200$ in our first month.
After making enough money to buy her a new car she left me for a woman who dresses as Bozo the clown for a living. Every now and then we have a three-way but I just really really want a pair of raisin shoes.
ArchAengelus@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 10 pts · 72d
This was a wild ride.
MacaqueAndCheese@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 72d
Almost as wild as that time I got high and watched old family guy episodes that I haven't seen in like 20 years
SiegeRhino@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 72d
happy for you
the_tab_key@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 72d
Uh huh
HeHoXa@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 71d
I don't "dress as" Boco. I am Boco to my core.
If you can't respect that, I'm bringing the tailor's jovial mice to Debbie's threesomes to feast on your nuts.
X@piefed.world · 1 pts · 71d
A story as old as, well, something.
Prove_your_argument@piefed.social · 9 pts · 72d
This post is missing corn.
Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 71d
BEANS ARE ENOUGH.
Prove_your_argument@piefed.social · 3 pts · 71d
Now you're gonna tell me you don't want rice with your beans That is not very latino sounding.
jaybone@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 71d
Despite all my corn, I’m still just a rat incest porn.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 71d
those are cornbeans
Prove_your_argument@piefed.social · 2 pts · 70d
Cornbeans. Ain’t nothing wrong with that I guess.
Misty@lemy.lol · 7 pts · 72d
Thank you Rat in some jeans, surrounded by beans.
radiofreebc@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 72d
wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz · 4 pts · 71d
Don't defame Jeans Rat like that!
asteriskeverything@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 71d
Dammit now I have another version of lyrics I hear/sing
kibblebits@quokk.au · 3 pts · 72d
SP❤️
X@piefed.world · 2 pts · 71d
Despite all my ham, I am still just a rat in a jam.
flambonkscious@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 71d
Fuck yeah!
Magnum@infosec.pub · 1 pts · 71d
WHERE CORN?????
LuminousLuddite@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 72d