Cuba Offers To Give Up Nuclear Weapons It’s Not Developing in Return for US$300B

https://theshovel.com.au/2026/06/19/cuba-offers-to-give-up-nuclear-weapons-its-not-developing-in-return-for-us300b/

496 points · 14 comments · view on lemmy.world

14 Comments

Atelopus-zeteki@fedia.io · 51 pts · 91d (5 replies)

I too am willing, with advance payment of merely $299B, to completely resolve to never develop nukular weapons.

SolacefromSilence@fedia.io · 29 pts · 91d (1 reply)

I'm offering a two for one deal, no nuclear development and I pinky promise not to interfere with ANY shipping in the straight of Hormuz.

I'm expecting the billions any day now...

Atelopus-zeteki@fedia.io · 13 pts · 91d

Best of luck! May the best deal prevail.

altphoto@lemmy.today · 10 pts · 91d (2 replies)

Nah, you guys are crazy! I'm offering no nukes, no biological weapons and you can pass the straight or the gay LGBTQ AI of Vermoose. All I'm asking for here is 12 billion in cash tax free. Cheap! C'mon!

kossa@feddit.org · 6 pts · 91d (1 reply)

I am offering the same, but I am willing to pay half of it as taxes. Then Trump can hire another hand-picked contractor to fuck up the pool from my tax billions.

altphoto@lemmy.today · 3 pts · 91d

Same deal doubled but 2 thirds go to the ruling party as tribute. Again, no nukes. And each gets a gold watch and a blue patch from the reflecting pool made into a commemorate pin. If you have dementia it comes with your name and phone number. You might not know it's your name so there will be a reassuring message telling you that. "You might not know it's your name".

iocase@lemmy.zip · 17 pts · 91d

The Onion's writers ever since Trump made their jobs impossible.

Steve@startrek.website · 11 pts · 91d (1 reply)

Are we sure this is satire?

Goodlucksil@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 91d

The shovel doesn't always publish satire, too..

stephan262@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 91d

For only $1B I'll open 'The Straight of Hormuz'. It will be either a gay bar or a gaming cafe.

QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 91d

I'll cut Trump a deal. I can stop development of all my nuclear weapons for only five billion

stringere@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 91d

Oh shit, yeah me too!

PixeIOrange@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 91d

I too!

ClownStatue@piefed.social · 5 pts · 91d

Hell, I’ll do it for half the price of the ballroom!