I was in some stupid ego match, and some guy made the comment that was one of those machismo put-downs akin to, "I fucked your mom." So I snapped back, "She died in 1987, so I guess that makes you a pedophile." I meant to say "necrophile," but my mouth said something different than my brain, and I screwed it up. Thankfully, he didn't pick up on it, and shot back my mom died knowing I was a disappointment. But he went too far, and his friend stopped him, like, "stop before this becomes a physical fight." I had ZERO intention of making it a physical fight (I would have lost), but he backed down anyway and it just awkwardly ended with me remembering I said the wrong word for almost two decades, now.
One time a teacher said that she wanted to "keep us on our toes" and I raised my hand and said "I don't have any toes" and she didn't know how to respond. So I mean, something to keep in the chamber for later.
I've found that weh someone comes up like that, like a psychic or one of those "charities", if you ask them with a bit of a frantic voice " Do you have the time?" Then wait a second and go "I'm late" and walk off, it fries their brain enough to get away.
16 Comments
punkwalrus@lemmy.world · 41 pts · 66d
I was in some stupid ego match, and some guy made the comment that was one of those machismo put-downs akin to, "I fucked your mom." So I snapped back, "She died in 1987, so I guess that makes you a pedophile." I meant to say "necrophile," but my mouth said something different than my brain, and I screwed it up. Thankfully, he didn't pick up on it, and shot back my mom died knowing I was a disappointment. But he went too far, and his friend stopped him, like, "stop before this becomes a physical fight." I had ZERO intention of making it a physical fight (I would have lost), but he backed down anyway and it just awkwardly ended with me remembering I said the wrong word for almost two decades, now.
ALoafOfBread@lemmy.ml · 16 pts · 66d
Idk I think that's even better somehow
Zorque@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 66d
I dunno, feels a little too muskian.
pfjarschel@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 65d
Well, that pretty much sums up my life.
Townlately@feddit.nl · 40 pts · 66d
One time a teacher said that she wanted to "keep us on our toes" and I raised my hand and said "I don't have any toes" and she didn't know how to respond. So I mean, something to keep in the chamber for later.
TachyonTele@piefed.social · 14 pts · 66d
Just loading up on ammo over here
lolrightythen@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 66d
You could say your dog died once a month, but not say that you run a dog hospice?
My partner wants to own/operate a doggie hospice someday. Today is not that day.
Townlately@feddit.nl · 5 pts · 66d
Toebodys perfect
lolrightythen@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 66d
This is me reporting you for confusing me.
TachyonTele@piefed.social · 4 pts · 66d
Lol, righty then
Phantaloons@piefed.zip · 4 pts · 66d
Spread your wings, graduates! Fly!
uncomfortable confusion by the entire audience
BucketBong@p.hobo.social · 11 pts · 66d
I've found that weh someone comes up like that, like a psychic or one of those "charities", if you ask them with a bit of a frantic voice " Do you have the time?" Then wait a second and go "I'm late" and walk off, it fries their brain enough to get away.
notsosure@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 65d
Curiously enough, this psychic knew this answer already, so not sure why they should’ve been surprised. Unless they were crap at psychicing.
BillyClark@piefed.social · 5 pts · 66d
I think I'd like my next house to have a moat and drawbridge.
Zorque@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 66d
Like that guy from the latest knives out movie?
BillyClark@piefed.social · 0 pts · 66d
I didn't see that yet, but mine has those big buckets of boiling oil that you dump on "visitors."