If you’re cleaning the toilet and doing laundry regularly you’re already ahead of a lot of men. As long as you have a clean way to prep food and no health hazards in the environment the rest is bonus points as far as I’m concerned. Yeah, there’s an unfolded bag of laundry in my room and clutter on the coffee table; I live here.
There was once a conversation at my work through which I discovered that most of my male coworkers enjoy baking (and yes, I also enjoy baking).
Simultaneously funniest and saddest part of that was one lady sitting through that conversation with thousand yards stare, who previously said that her husband, in terms of household chores, doesn't even know how to use washing machine.
I also absolutely acknowledge that in society that we have today - things like cooking or even basic ones like proper hygiene (as in not using one bar of soap for everything) are something that is expected from women by default, but men doing that are treated as something special.
That said, I'm kind of a hypocrite since while I tout about all that, I definitely used my baking to impress women. 🌝
If you’re cleaning the toilet and doing laundry regularly you’re already ahead of a lot of men.
There was a time that I had my slut-era post divorce and was seeing several different people. At one point, I was over at 3 different men's houses over the course of a couple days and not a single one of them had handsoap anywhere in their house. I had a laugh ngl.
But also maybe give the shower a scrub once in a while along with the toilet, yeah?
I have a built-in hand soap pump in the kitchen, and a big bottle in the bathroom. Plus, separate refill bottles for each. No one wants to come over to my house. With the popularity of the bad-boy archetype, I have to wonder if there's some sort of correlation?
Understood! I'm just thinking about my own life, where I feel like I've noticed an inverse correlation between conscientiousness and sexual attractiveness in the men that I know.
Ah my anecdotal experiences would counter that inverse correlation ;)
Men who are conscientious, kind, and have emotional intelligence are incredibly more sexy than the reverse. But then we’re wandering into topics of personal attraction and turn ons and we could talk all day about individual preferences haha
I like to cook and preserve food, so my kitchen is clean. Also keep up on the dishes and do the kitchen floor twice a week. If I leave clean laundry around that's where the dogs want to curl up and nap.
Honestly, keeping the kitchen and the bathroom relatively clean is the key. Everything else can get cluttered until you have the energy and time! You're doing great :)
The biggest life upgrade for pets in the house is a robot vacuum. I've had one model or another for longer than I've had dogs and while it obviously isn't the same as a good sweep and mop, running the robot vacuum daily is a huge improvement.
Shout out to the Valetudo project for helping people to take their robot vacuum out of the cloud.
That is awesome thank you for sharing. I just took mine off the WiFi and hit the button when I want it to go but would be nice to be able to use all the other functions.
As someone with AuDHD, don't beat yourself up. As long as you're trying you're good. If you were lazy, you would be having fun instead of worrying about not doing enough. Also at least for me, speaking to myself with compassion has always gotten me better results than self bullying.
Pets make life so fucking hard to keep clean, don't punish yourself for it.
I've been tackling my house over several weeks by picking a different corner of the place and deep cleaning each day (though not every day). I spend about an hour on each area and it feels way less overwhelming than thinking I have to get an entire room or my entire place clean.
33 Comments
Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 27 pts · 48d
If you’re cleaning the toilet and doing laundry regularly you’re already ahead of a lot of men. As long as you have a clean way to prep food and no health hazards in the environment the rest is bonus points as far as I’m concerned. Yeah, there’s an unfolded bag of laundry in my room and clutter on the coffee table; I live here.
ivan@piefed.social · 18 pts · 48d
There was once a conversation at my work through which I discovered that most of my male coworkers enjoy baking (and yes, I also enjoy baking).
Simultaneously funniest and saddest part of that was one lady sitting through that conversation with thousand yards stare, who previously said that her husband, in terms of household chores, doesn't even know how to use washing machine.
velma@sh.itjust.works · 10 pts · 48d
It's still prevalent unfortunately.
My ex-husband once woke me up at 4am to yell at me about not having clean socks.
kamenlady@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 48d
Glad to hear
velma@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 48d
Thanks :)
That was one of those rare moments that I gained a lot of clarity about the situation I was in.
ivan@piefed.social · 3 pts · 48d
Sad that it had to happen to you.
I also absolutely acknowledge that in society that we have today - things like cooking or even basic ones like proper hygiene (as in not using one bar of soap for everything) are something that is expected from women by default, but men doing that are treated as something special.
That said, I'm kind of a hypocrite since while I tout about all that, I definitely used my baking to impress women. 🌝
velma@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 48d
I love a good breaking of a stereotype myself lol
Do you post any of your bakes on the baking community? I'd love to see them if you want to share!
ivan@piefed.social · 3 pts · 48d
Oh, I often share pictures with my friends, but I'll definitely consider one day posting to baking community.
pedrobear@altgag.net · 2 pts · 48d
Ex-husband, you say...
surewhynotlem@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 48d
That's her child then. I'd recommend women start calling that out, but only if safe.
velma@sh.itjust.works · 10 pts · 48d
There was a time that I had my slut-era post divorce and was seeing several different people. At one point, I was over at 3 different men's houses over the course of a couple days and not a single one of them had handsoap anywhere in their house. I had a laugh ngl.
But also maybe give the shower a scrub once in a while along with the toilet, yeah?
heydo@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 48d
Did you look in their showers? There's perfectly good shampoo you can use for that /s
velma@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 48d
In all seriousness - they were using the dish soap at their kitchen sink lol
OwOarchist@pawb.social · 5 pts · 48d
Works fine, honestly.
And if you work on cars and stuff a lot, it's actually much better at cutting through grease and oil grime than regular hand soap.
velma@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 48d
Not when there's 0 soap in the bathroom and one is touching all the door handles and such to get to the kitchen sink.
It's more of a reminder how many men don't wash their hands after handling their dicks lol
SwingingTheLamp@piefed.zip · 4 pts · 48d
I have a built-in hand soap pump in the kitchen, and a big bottle in the bathroom. Plus, separate refill bottles for each. No one wants to come over to my house. With the popularity of the bad-boy archetype, I have to wonder if there's some sort of correlation?
velma@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 48d
These men were not of the bad-boy archetype hahahaha
They were just bachelors and some guys are cleaner than others.
SwingingTheLamp@piefed.zip · 2 pts · 48d
Understood! I'm just thinking about my own life, where I feel like I've noticed an inverse correlation between conscientiousness and sexual attractiveness in the men that I know.
velma@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 48d
Ah my anecdotal experiences would counter that inverse correlation ;)
Men who are conscientious, kind, and have emotional intelligence are incredibly more sexy than the reverse. But then we’re wandering into topics of personal attraction and turn ons and we could talk all day about individual preferences haha
Sanguine@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 48d
Plenty of conscientious folks who are attractive and getting laid.
SwingingTheLamp@piefed.zip · 2 pts · 48d
That suggests a lack of correlation between those two qualities.
NM_Gringo@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 48d
I like to cook and preserve food, so my kitchen is clean. Also keep up on the dishes and do the kitchen floor twice a week. If I leave clean laundry around that's where the dogs want to curl up and nap.
velma@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 48d
Honestly, keeping the kitchen and the bathroom relatively clean is the key. Everything else can get cluttered until you have the energy and time! You're doing great :)
crank0271@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 48d
The biggest life upgrade for pets in the house is a robot vacuum. I've had one model or another for longer than I've had dogs and while it obviously isn't the same as a good sweep and mop, running the robot vacuum daily is a huge improvement.
Shout out to the Valetudo project for helping people to take their robot vacuum out of the cloud.
trashcroissant@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 4 pts · 48d
That is awesome thank you for sharing. I just took mine off the WiFi and hit the button when I want it to go but would be nice to be able to use all the other functions.
Malyca@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 48d
I hadn't heard about this thanks for sharing
Malyca@lemmy.zip · 9 pts · 48d
As someone with AuDHD, don't beat yourself up. As long as you're trying you're good. If you were lazy, you would be having fun instead of worrying about not doing enough. Also at least for me, speaking to myself with compassion has always gotten me better results than self bullying.
velma@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 48d
I always recommend this book for anyone beating themselves up over housework:
How to Keep a House While Drowning by KC Davis
Malyca@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 48d
I'll check it out, thanks
NM_Gringo@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 48d
Thank you for that. A very kind thought.
trashcroissant@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 7 pts · 48d
Pets make life so fucking hard to keep clean, don't punish yourself for it.
I've been tackling my house over several weeks by picking a different corner of the place and deep cleaning each day (though not every day). I spend about an hour on each area and it feels way less overwhelming than thinking I have to get an entire room or my entire place clean.
NM_Gringo@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 48d
That's a good tip there. Focus on one small part of the job you can get done without stressing out about the bits you didn't finish.
velma@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 48d
If you're only cleaning the toilet and sheets, yeah you earned the judgment lol