Don't covet thy neighbors corn

292 points · 25 comments · view on lemmy.world

25 Comments

PhoenixDog@lemmy.world · 29 pts · 47d (3 replies)

Oh look. A Free Will church literally telling you what to do.

notabot@piefed.social · 8 pts · 47d

To be fair, they're not actually telling you what to do, just telling you what they think the consequence of a certain action will be.

Zephyr@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 47d

That's the fun part about language, it doesn't have to be logical in the slightest. I can say red is blue all day every day without issue beyond that it's logically inconsistent.

DickFiasco@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 47d

I wonder if it's near the Democratic People's Republic of Korea.

Grimy@lemmy.world · 22 pts · 47d (2 replies)

Action: Eat the devil's corn

Positive: You will choke on his cob

Negative: The church will slut shame you for it

WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 47d (1 reply)

The cob contains potassium benzoate.

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 46d

Uh

aeronmelon@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 47d

This is what happens when you give the Baptist free will.

rainwall@piefed.social · 10 pts · 47d (1 reply)

Ive seen people eat corn by rotating it and bitting kernels off the side, I've seen people stand corn up on a plate and cut kernels off with a knife.

I've never seen anyone deep throat a corn cob while trying to literally suck the kernels off, which seems like the only possible way to "choke on the cob."

These church people just seem deeply confused about how corn works.

SethTaylor@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 47d

These church people just seem deeply confused about how corn works.

Look, confused or not, they're defo more fun at parties than we are, that's for sure

ByteJunk@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 47d

Don't threaten me with a good time.

betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 47d

Sounds cornographic.

snoons@lemmy.ca · 6 pts · 47d

Hawt

wizblizz@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 47d

Slob that cob knob

SharkAttak@kbin.melroy.org · 5 pts · 47d (1 reply)

If marijuana is the devil's lettuce, then what is the devil's corn?

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 46d

Still Marijuana. It's potcorn

MrSelfDestruct@lemmy.zip · 5 pts · 47d

At first I thought the shadow was Trump.

Zephyr@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 47d (1 reply)

The title and the post together make it sound like you're saying your neighbor is the devil.

Zomg@piefed.world · 1 pts · 47d

Not with a cob like his

jobbies@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 47d (2 replies)

...hog.. I mean cob...

brown567@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 47d (1 reply)

DID SOMEBODY MENTION HOGS!? AROOOOOOO!!

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 46d

CRANK THEM COBS BROTHER

Multiplexer@discuss.tchncs.de · 2 pts · 47d

So why would the Baptists' corn behave differently?

/forward => comparisons-that-make-no-sense-at-all

Formfiller@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 47d

Sounds like a kink

SethTaylor@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 47d

😏