If you're finished invading my privacy, may I return to work now? Or do you also want to look at my browser history? How about my social media accounts?
You do need pee from the same sex as you they can tell easily.
Heat it up, wear whitey tidey underwear, (which I hate,) and snug the pee on your taint.
Last time I did that, the test people said it was a little hotter than it should be, I said it's hot out and I walked here.
Best though, if you quit for several days first, drink lots and lots of water to dilute your piss, then take a few vitamins to add colour to your pee. It works.
When I started gender transition I was a nominal cis het guy working at a conservative engineering company in Texas. As I grew my hair out and my features started inexplicably softening, guess who always got selected for the "random" drug tests?
LSD they have to do a spinal tap to test for. At least as of 20 some years back. I thought there was a test for mushrooms but not sure. I don't think it's a commonly tested for one though in any case.
22 Comments
okwhateverdude@lemmy.world · 53 pts · 4d
If you're finished invading my privacy, may I return to work now? Or do you also want to look at my browser history? How about my social media accounts?
Grilipper54@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 3d
I had to take a background check last year that essentially gave them the rights to reach out to anybody that has possibly known me my entire life.
For a job I was already working. So incredibly invasive.
basxto@discuss.tchncs.de · -2 pts · 3d
ok whatever, dude
DudeImMacGyver@kbin.earth · 24 pts · 4d
"No, I paid a prostitute to pee in a bottle. I mean, yeah, I'm weird."
CapuccinoCoretto@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 4d
Well Mr. MacGyver, the good news is you are drug free. The bad news is you are pregnant and have herpes and syphillis.
DudeImMacGyver@kbin.earth · 13 pts · 4d
That's OK, I don't believe in syphilis!
village604@adultswim.fan · 4 pts · 3d
Found trumps account.
DudeImMacGyver@kbin.earth · 2 pts · 3d
Shh! That's classified!
I mentally declare this whole thread classified!
cheese_greater@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 4d
O okay, carry on, then,
bedwyr@piefed.ca · 2 pts · 1d
You do need pee from the same sex as you they can tell easily.
Heat it up, wear whitey tidey underwear, (which I hate,) and snug the pee on your taint.
Last time I did that, the test people said it was a little hotter than it should be, I said it's hot out and I walked here.
Best though, if you quit for several days first, drink lots and lots of water to dilute your piss, then take a few vitamins to add colour to your pee. It works.
DudeImMacGyver@kbin.earth · 2 pts · 1d
Yes, you are correct. I was just joking, but any gender can be a prostitute.
isleepinahammock@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 20 pts · 4d
When I started gender transition I was a nominal cis het guy working at a conservative engineering company in Texas. As I grew my hair out and my features started inexplicably softening, guess who always got selected for the "random" drug tests?
Pattylay@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 4d
Let me get a hit of dat life my wizza
titty_wizard@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 4d
MrOtingocni@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 4d
The great thing about being weird is that nobody knows when you're on drugs.
over_clox@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 4d
I only take positive drugs, negative drugs are so depressing..
protist@retrofed.com · 9 pts · 4d
Hallucinogens don't show up on most workplace drug tests
Grilipper54@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 4d
I see you passed the drug test; have you been coming into work on LSD everyday?
bedwyr@piefed.ca · 1 pts · 1d
LSD they have to do a spinal tap to test for. At least as of 20 some years back. I thought there was a test for mushrooms but not sure. I don't think it's a commonly tested for one though in any case.
Ramsesder13te@feddit.org · 5 pts · 3d
I love that tiny niche of memes made from pictures of Actors reading they're script.
someguy3@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 4d
Weird doesn't take drugs, or weird acts like that but isn't on drugs.
MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net · 2 pts · 4d
I've stopped asking, got used to being judged I guess.