My ex lived in another town and I went there by train. She waited for me on the station platform. I saw her first and took a detour over the neighboring platform because it was pretty crowded. I walked up beside her without her noticing me. Mind you, what follows was completely impromptu (we were both weirdos):
I looked sideways on her tits (she had nice really big tits, like, top 5% big). I spoke pretty loud so a lot of bystanders could hear it.
Me: Hmm, nice tits! Wanna fuck?
She checked me out from top to bottom.
Her: Sure, why not.
Me: OK. But, I gotta know what you taste like first.
Her: OK.
We went on to make the sloppiest wet kiss tongue-in-throat-style.
Me: Your place?
Her: Yah, let's fuck.
People looked at us in disgust, shock, or disbelief. Only one guy had the widest grin on his face. While going I gave her ass a good squeeze. The looks on the faces were priceless.
That’s close to one of the running jokes that my wife and I have. When we’re in the grocery or department store and we spilt up for a few, when I find her, I will sneak up behind her and say, “Excuse me ma’am, I know you don’t know me, but you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. Can I pay for your stuff and take you back to my place?”
I always think I’m funny. She? Only sometimes. Me? Always.
My wife and I do that sort of thing all the time to each other, and it's always fun. She used to work as a bartender in a restaraunt, and after work I'd go hang out there just to be with her and sometimes I'd hit on her in the most lewd manner I could manage. And she would just lean into it, it was amazing.
Ooh Mormons do that? I didn't know, I thought religious people were always so monogamous.
But I think Mormons only allow for a man to have multiple wives and not a women to have multiple husbands. I'm all for polyamory but it must be both ways.
21 Comments
_cnt0@sh.itjust.works · 152 pts · 2y
Story time:
My ex lived in another town and I went there by train. She waited for me on the station platform. I saw her first and took a detour over the neighboring platform because it was pretty crowded. I walked up beside her without her noticing me. Mind you, what follows was completely impromptu (we were both weirdos):
I looked sideways on her tits (she had nice really big tits, like, top 5% big). I spoke pretty loud so a lot of bystanders could hear it.
Me: Hmm, nice tits! Wanna fuck?
She checked me out from top to bottom.
Her: Sure, why not.
Me: OK. But, I gotta know what you taste like first.
Her: OK.
We went on to make the sloppiest wet kiss tongue-in-throat-style.
Me: Your place?
Her: Yah, let's fuck.
People looked at us in disgust, shock, or disbelief. Only one guy had the widest grin on his face. While going I gave her ass a good squeeze. The looks on the faces were priceless.
Nusm@lemmy.world · 82 pts · 2y
That’s close to one of the running jokes that my wife and I have. When we’re in the grocery or department store and we spilt up for a few, when I find her, I will sneak up behind her and say, “Excuse me ma’am, I know you don’t know me, but you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. Can I pay for your stuff and take you back to my place?”
I always think I’m funny. She? Only sometimes. Me? Always.
ICastFist@programming.dev · 11 pts · 2y
I wouldn't mind if you offered to pay for my groceries either wink wink nudge nudge
Nusm@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 2y
Are you a goer? Wink wink, nudge nudge, know what I mean?
uid0gid0@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y
A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat!
kautau@lemmy.world · 55 pts · 2y
https://media.tenor.com/Pa78nrgQkscAAAAd/survivor-omg.gif
ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.ml · 8 pts · 2y
This looks like Survivor? What's the context?
ramble81@lemm.ee · 10 pts · 2y
I always see it when the lady got smashed in the face by a watermelon but I think they’re really two different events.
Antitrust7668@discuss.tchncs.de · 5 pts · 2y
Found this
Kusimulkku@lemm.ee · 44 pts · 2y
I wasn't going to read till the end but you convinced me
CADmonkey@lemmy.world · 39 pts · 2y
My wife and I do that sort of thing all the time to each other, and it's always fun. She used to work as a bartender in a restaraunt, and after work I'd go hang out there just to be with her and sometimes I'd hit on her in the most lewd manner I could manage. And she would just lean into it, it was amazing.
SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml · 21 pts · 2y
That's legendary. You must really like acting
glarf@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y
First time a comment got me to laugh out loud, nice.
WoefKat@lemmy.ml · 22 pts · 2y
It'd be funnier to go like "yeah I'm one of his wives" :)
Kusimulkku@lemm.ee · 28 pts · 2y
Disagree
WoefKat@lemmy.ml · -1 pts · 2y
Polyamory is a thing though <3 So it's not that far-fetched.
Unfortunately marriage law hasn't yet caught up to that fact in most places but I'm sure it will.
Kusimulkku@lemm.ee · 4 pts · 2y
Even with polyamorous surely a surprise wife would raise some eyebrows.
Cannacheques@slrpnk.net · 1 pts · 2y
True, I think it's more the skepticism of my younglings being smarter or stronger than your younglings thing though
Cannacheques@slrpnk.net · 2 pts · 2y
Ask them if they're Mormon to get a reaction
WoefKat@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 2y
Ooh Mormons do that? I didn't know, I thought religious people were always so monogamous.
But I think Mormons only allow for a man to have multiple wives and not a women to have multiple husbands. I'm all for polyamory but it must be both ways.
Cannacheques@slrpnk.net · 9 pts · 2y
Hahaha that is such a class act honestly I love memes like this