BIRDS.

824 points · 39 comments · view on lemmy.world

39 Comments

ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.de · 78 pts · 2y (9 replies)

Depends on how the song is interpreted. The intention is probably β€œby the 𝑛ᡗʰ day of Christmas, my true love had given to me [list of 𝑛+(𝑛–1)+...1 items]” but the actual grammar means that by day 12, you'd have received 𝑛(13–𝑛) of the 𝑛ᡗʰ item, or

  • 12 drummers drumming
  • 22 pipers piping
  • 30 lords-a leaping
  • 36 ladies dancing
  • 40 maids a-milking
  • 42 swans a-swimming
  • 42 geese a-laying
  • 40 gold rings
  • 36 calling birds
  • 30 French hens
  • 22 turtle doves
  • 12 partriges in pear trees

Total is 184 birds. By day 7, only 69 birds, up 50 % from 46 by day 6. At least the number of received birds stays constant (23) on days 8-12. The geese technically-a-reproducing are not accounted for, as the eggs might not be fertilized and take several weeks to hatch.

Also explored in an awesome video by Vihart: YouTube/Piped/Vimeo

BluesF@feddit.uk · 7 pts · 2y

Oh damn I did not know Vihart was still going! Tis a good day.

Artyom@lemm.ee · 6 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Curse you Carl Friedrich Gauss and your distribution! Is there no escape?!?

ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.de · 2 pts · 2y

It’s a parabola actually, the function is –𝑛²+13𝑛.

The reason Gauss is mentioned in Vihart’s video is that he famously invented the formula for triangular numbers.

downdaemon@lemmy.ml · 5 pts · 2y (1 reply)

this is why i come to lemmy

ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.de · 1 pts · 2y

this is why i lemmy

funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 2y

does each maid come with a cow (or goat) they are milking? within a month (35 days) some of those goose eggs will hatch too.

TimewornTraveler@lemm.ee · 2 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Fourty! Golden! Rings!

Burninator05@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

You should just be grateful your true love didn't give you any hedgehogs.

Resistentialism@feddit.uk · 2 pts · 2y

I would be so happy to receive 42 geese. It gives a really healthy head start to my goose army.

CubbyTustard@reddthat.com · 59 pts · 2y
[ removed ]
IrrerPolterer@lemmy.world · 39 pts · 2y (12 replies)

Lol, eight maids a milking... Slaves. He's sending you slaves darling.

capt_wolf@lemmy.world · 20 pts · 2y (3 replies)

Or he's letting you in on a very specific fetish...

oo1@kbin.social · 13 pts · 2y (2 replies)

are cows included? or are they a-milking something else?

ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.de · 6 pts · 2y

Each other, which is why the sex matters

IWantToFuckSpez@kbin.social · 5 pts · 2y

Only Hucows

tetris11@lemmy.ml · 16 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Consider the gender distribution of:

  • eight maids a-milking
  • nine ladies dancing
  • ten lords a-leaping
  • eleven pipers piping
  • twelve drummers drumming

Some deep fetish shit is about to go down

TheSlad@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 2y

Hey them pipers and drummers could be ladies! Its current year

ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.de · 15 pts · 2y (3 replies)

All 140 humans, including the 30 lords, are slaves. You don't otherwise β€œown” humans like birds or rings.

Calculation by Vihart

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y

Excuse me they're dinner.

PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocks · 2 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

Calculation by Vihart

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.de · 1 pts · 2y

Here is a Vimeo link: https://vimeo.com/147797331

letsgo@lemm.ee · 6 pts · 2y (1 reply)
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CoderKat@lemm.ee · 2 pts · 2y

Or hired to do a show, since English isn't that specific. Being gifted someone dancing doesn't usually mean you own that person. It just means someone was paid to dance as a show for you.

FlyingSquid@lemmy.world · 28 pts · 2y (2 replies)

Plus, you have to provide room in your house for a huge number of new lodgers. Drummers, pipers, lords, ladies, maids... and then you've got to find a place for all the birds.

Your "true love" is clearly taking advantage of you by unloading all of this onto you and calling it a gift.

Squibbles@lemmy.ca · 13 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Clearly the birds are for feeding to your new lodgers

FlyingSquid@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y

Very small portions. They won't last a week.

Ultraviolet@lemmy.world · 25 pts · 2y (1 reply)

It's 184 birds, 140 humans, 40 rings, and 12 trees. The rings are almost a normal present but when it's that many you're just Sauron.

Edit: fixed math

Etterra@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

I think whoever wrote the song was just hungry.

Aggravationstation@lemmy.world · 24 pts · 2y

I think they're for eating

captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works · 13 pts · 2y
  1. From days 8 to 12 your true love gives you milkmaids, dancing ladies, leaping lords, pipers and drummers. Human beings. As gifts. Which makes eating the birds feel a lot more okay.
  2. This carol was written back when Christmas was a mere 12 days long. Now Christmas starts in mid-October. "On the ninety-ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, ninety-nine wall beers..."
lugal@sopuli.xyz · 8 pts · 2y

I wonder who's behind it. c/birdsarentreal

EmperorHenry@discuss.tchncs.de · 6 pts · 2y
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Ilovemyirishtemper@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 2y (4 replies)

At least you can eat the geese. What the heck am I going to do with turtledoves and partridges?

Etterra@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 2y (1 reply)

People used to routinely eat just about every bird there was. The only reason nobody bothers with songbirds is that they're too small to be worth a damn. Remember the passenger pigeon? The extinct one. Yeah we literally ate that into extinction.

Ilovemyirishtemper@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

Fair enough. Although I don't think you'd need to bother with the songbirds in this instance seeing as you've been gifted a years worth of geese, French hens, and milk. Unless you're required to feed all the other various humans you've been gifted as well. I guess then it would be time to crack into the turtledoves.

elscallr@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y

I've eaten partridge before. It's not bad. Not sure I'd eat turtledove if I had other options.

Chekhovs_Gun@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

What about the French hens? Those seem like the likely nom nom candidate.

Ejh3k@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 2y (1 reply)
PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocks · 1 pts · 2y

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

Pertinent

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

abcde_fz@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

This is quality shit.

tias@discuss.tchncs.de · 2 pts · 2y

If my true love flips me the bird, she might not be my true love after all.