I relate to how this feels very much. I am fairly certain I have undiagnosed autism, and I had social anxiety so badly i couldn't speak at all or leave the house on my own until I was about 22 or 23. At that age, I got a prescription for Paxil to treat my social anxiety. It completely changed my life. The medication allows me to exist in public without putting so much weight on other people's opinion of me. I'm definitely still autistic, and I think and act different than neurotypical folks. But it no longer ruins my day or week if I make a social mistake. I can look at it like a 3rd person and not feel the fear and shame I used to feel. I've been able to learn a lot about myself and about other people and what's "normal" or "expected" since I've gotten medicated. Before, I couldn't really gain anything from my social experiences because I was always in fight or flight or i was terribly ashamed of my self when trying to reflect.
If you haven't tried an anti-depressant or anti-anxiety medication, give it a shot.
What I was able to learn in my conscience, medicated mind is that people are very forgiving of weirdness. The next time you talk to someone is always an opportunity to gain their favor. It's pretty much a blank slate every time. People crave "connection" and they don't typically like to not get along with someone. They are searching for an excuse to like everyone around them at all times.
It's also okay to be considered the weirdest of weird people as long as you are kind and humble. People LOVE having a weird, but nice, person in the group. You have to accept that it's OKAY to be the weird person. I always feel better saying or doing something "weird" if I preface it by saying I'm a complete lunatic crazy person first. Then people can feel free to disagree with me and to share their honest opinions since I have very little ability to tell if someone is "just being nice" or if they're serious.
Another thing I've learned is that OTHER people are also all fucked up and dealing with their own shit. Sometimes someone reacts to you in a way that confuses you or seems mean or uncaring. Remind yourself that they might just be having a bad day. You don't always have to figure out what YOU did wrong. Sometimes the other person was the one acting weird. The next time you interact with them might be completely different. You don't have to analyze every interaction to find YOUR flaws. It's not always you!
I'm not sure how old you are, but some of this might also come with age. I'm sure it would still be difficult for me to "not care" about people's opinions if I were still in high school or college.
I relate to how this feels very much. I am fairly certain I have undiagnosed autism, and I had social anxiety so badly i couldn't speak at all or leave the house on my own until I was about 22 or 23. At that age, I got a prescription for Paxil to treat my social anxiety. It completely changed my life. The medication allows me to exist in public without putting so much weight on other people's opinion of me. I'm definitely still autistic, and I think and act different than neurotypical folks. But it no longer ruins my day or week if I make a social mistake. I can look at it like a 3rd person and not feel the fear and shame I used to feel. I've been able to learn a lot about myself and about other people and what's "normal" or "expected" since I've gotten medicated. Before, I couldn't really gain anything from my social experiences because I was always in fight or flight or i was terribly ashamed of my self when trying to reflect.
If you haven't tried an anti-depressant or anti-anxiety medication, give it a shot.
What I was able to learn in my conscience, medicated mind is that people are very forgiving of weirdness. The next time you talk to someone is always an opportunity to gain their favor. It's pretty much a blank slate every time. People crave "connection" and they don't typically like to not get along with someone. They are searching for an excuse to like everyone around them at all times.
It's also okay to be considered the weirdest of weird people as long as you are kind and humble. People LOVE having a weird, but nice, person in the group. You have to accept that it's OKAY to be the weird person. I always feel better saying or doing something "weird" if I preface it by saying I'm a complete lunatic crazy person first. Then people can feel free to disagree with me and to share their honest opinions since I have very little ability to tell if someone is "just being nice" or if they're serious.
Another thing I've learned is that OTHER people are also all fucked up and dealing with their own shit. Sometimes someone reacts to you in a way that confuses you or seems mean or uncaring. Remind yourself that they might just be having a bad day. You don't always have to figure out what YOU did wrong. Sometimes the other person was the one acting weird. The next time you interact with them might be completely different. You don't have to analyze every interaction to find YOUR flaws. It's not always you!
I'm not sure how old you are, but some of this might also come with age. I'm sure it would still be difficult for me to "not care" about people's opinions if I were still in high school or college.
I hope you find something to help you.