Anon factory resets

511 points · 42 comments · view on lemmy.world

42 Comments

wesker@lemmy.sdf.org · 116 pts · 2y (21 replies)

How do you accidentally have sex?

dohpaz42@lemmy.world · 82 pts · 2y (5 replies)

You can’t tell me you’ve never tripped, fell, and found yourself having sex before? Duh. It’s like so common.

AtariDump@lemmy.world · 86 pts · 2y (3 replies)

dohpaz42@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 2y (1 reply)

It’s like a cartoon of my life!

… ok not really.

nilloc@discuss.tchncs.de · 11 pts · 2y

You’re not the guy pushing the service cart?

SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml · 4 pts · 2y

Man, MTV must have been so cool

zaphod@sopuli.xyz · 5 pts · 2y

Only ever happens to conservative men and only with other men.

Buddahriffic@lemmy.world · 40 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Maybe he was lying on his back and a partner just got off and a woman saw there was an available penis and got on before OP could say "no hetero", and by then he felt it and decided to never say it.

lessthanluigi@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 2y

"No Hetero" 🤣

Made me laugh way too hard.

I'm saying that to women that I just want a platonic relationship with now.

Anamana@feddit.de · 28 pts · 2y
  1. Be at an orgy
  2. Have sex with someone you didn't intend to f
  3. ???
  4. Profit
troybot@midwest.social · 23 pts · 2y (1 reply)
AlpacaChariot@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 2y

Haha thanks, I forgot about this gem!

Think it might be time to rewatch the office!

Leviathan@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 2y

Fiction

isolatedscotch@discuss.tchncs.de · 15 pts · 2y

lots of alcohol I'm guessing

lemurian_time_sorcery@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 2y

how do you not

general_kitten@sopuli.xyz · 2 pts · 2y

Lots of alcohol usually

PoliticalAgitator@lemmy.world · -4 pts · 2y (5 replies)

Exactly. It's probably just a bullshit story to encourage gay people back into the closet.

morphballganon@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 2y (4 replies)

Why would this story compel anyone back into the closet?

PoliticalAgitator@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y (3 replies)

It pushes the idea that gay people can be "cured" with straight sex, which was extremely popular with homophobes in the 80s and 90s.

Obonga@feddit.de · 7 pts · 2y (2 replies)

I see that people could get this idea and its worded like that in the greentrxt but people with half a brain would go: "congrats, you just found out that you are bi"

PoliticalAgitator@lemmy.world · -1 pts · 2y (1 reply)

The fact that it doesn't reach that incredibly obvious conclusion just makes me even more skeptical. He specifically says he's straight now.

Obonga@feddit.de · 1 pts · 2y

Well i guess 4chan is not a stranger to different kinds of phobias so your take makes sense

Num10ck@lemmy.world · 82 pts · 2y (2 replies)

labels are for jars.

jol@discuss.tchncs.de · 9 pts · 2y

Of for my fuck boy. He has a label with my name.

humbletightband@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 2y

Minecraft is gay

GluWu@lemm.ee · 65 pts · 2y (3 replies)

Go two knuckles deep and hold the cum button until you reset to the factory settings.

SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de · 13 pts · 2y (1 reply)

careful not to also press the taint, or you do a screenshot

Ultragigagigantic@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 2y

Another picture of a pocket?

spiderman@ani.social · 5 pts · 2y

pussy so good boy got a factory reset

Omgarm@lemmy.world · 55 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Sounds like it overloaded on sex and rebooted while they were having sex with a woman. Like holding the analog stick of your controler when turning it on.

dohpaz42@lemmy.world · 33 pts · 2y

Like holding the analog stick of your controller when turning it on.

Isn’t that called masturbation?

RegalPotoo@lemmy.world · 52 pts · 2y (3 replies)

Take it out/blow on it/put it back in

Kolanaki@yiffit.net · 34 pts · 2y (2 replies)

peNES

Ultragigagigantic@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 2y (1 reply)

peSNES

FrostyCaveman@lemm.ee · 2 pts · 2y

peN64

GlitterInfection@lemmy.world · 37 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Pegging is fine, I guess.

wesker@lemmy.sdf.org · 2 pts · 2y
[ removed ]
thantik@lemmy.world · 34 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Become such a degenerate that you loop back around...

Thcdenton@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

a l i a s i n g

Ultragigagigantic@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 2y

My preferences have heavily shifted.

Used to do guys only but now I'm more into women. Not that I ever say no to a man who grooms himself well.

janus2@lemmy.zip · 15 pts · 2y

when the pussy so good it make ya do the Windows 95 logon noise

summerof69@lemm.ee · 14 pts · 2y

I too am afraid of having an accidental sex with a woman.

JamesStallion@sh.itjust.works · -12 pts · 2y

There are no gay people and there are no straight people. These are words made up to make pearl clutchers more able to digest deviant behaviour.