A guy on Tinder sent my friend a Patrick meme that said "Is mayonnaise an ice breaker?" I, a big Spongebob nerd, told her to pick that guy. They're married now.
The longest relationship I ever had started this way: we were at a mutual friend's house with a bunch of our friends. I introduced myself, then sat across the room from them, in a big comfortable chair, and I fell asleep while looking at them. For some reason they thought this was charming.
Im happy single so one of y’all can have this one.
Are you a cigarette? Cause I wanna get you lit and put your butt in my mouth.
Savage one. If you see two girls in a club, go over and ask the one you are NOT interested in if they’d like to dance. When they say yes, say go on then I’ll keep your friend company.
I don't know if it's a pick up line, but when I get a girls number I immediately send her a picture of a rooster and ask if she likes unsolicited cock pics.
48 Comments
Lettuceeatlettuce@lemmy.ml · 70 pts · 2y
"Ay, you ever heard of Lemmy? Lemmy get your number?"
Notyou@sopuli.xyz · 2 pts · 2y
I would use this, if I met people IRL that have heard of Lemmy.
baritone_edge@lemmy.ml · 53 pts · 2y
kafa@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 2y
This gives the highest ROI
You can pick up literally anything with this one.
BruceTwarzen@kbin.social · 29 pts · 2y
Did it hurt when you fell down from heaven? Because you look pretty fucked up.
RoquetteQueen@sh.itjust.works · 28 pts · 2y
A guy on Tinder sent my friend a Patrick meme that said "Is mayonnaise an ice breaker?" I, a big Spongebob nerd, told her to pick that guy. They're married now.
abominable_panda@lemmy.world · 27 pts · 2y
Are you a beaver? 'Cos DAM
Carighan@lemmy.world · 24 pts · 2y
(shoutout to the absolutely fantastic Sophie Corrigan who creates a lot of really beautiful art for bad pun lines like this one)
Rolando@lemmy.world · 23 pts · 2y
The longest relationship I ever had started this way: we were at a mutual friend's house with a bunch of our friends. I introduced myself, then sat across the room from them, in a big comfortable chair, and I fell asleep while looking at them. For some reason they thought this was charming.
Vilian@lemmy.ca · 9 pts · 2y
???????????? lmao
olutukko@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y
"I could pick up girls even in my sleep"
Zozano@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 2y
That's cute as fuck.
zcd@lemmy.ca · 19 pts · 2y
Hey sexy mama, wanna kill all humans?
some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org · 18 pts · 2y
“I find the most erotic part of the woman is the boobies.”
“If I said you had a beautiful body would you take your pants off and dance around a little?”
Thavron@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 2y
Now those are pickup lines with some chest hair!
w3dd1e@lemm.ee · 1 pts · 2y
Now, remember the quickest way to a girl's bed is through her parents.
Have sex with them and you're in.
dependencyinjection@discuss.tchncs.de · 18 pts · 2y
Im happy single so one of y’all can have this one.
Are you a cigarette? Cause I wanna get you lit and put your butt in my mouth.
Savage one. If you see two girls in a club, go over and ask the one you are NOT interested in if they’d like to dance. When they say yes, say go on then I’ll keep your friend company.
ngn@lemy.lol · 6 pts · 2y
and whats the plan when they say no
dependencyinjection@discuss.tchncs.de · 1 pts · 2y
Can you get hold of zip ties and how is your stomach for blood?
r_thndr@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 14 pts · 2y
"I'm here to apply for the position of your Next Bad Decision. My parents always said I was a mistake, so I think that makes me well qualified."
That's literally how I got my wife.
satanmat@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 2y
So….. you’re a girl.
electro1@infosec.pub · 2 pts · 2y
satanmat@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y
Oh. So… then are you? Otherwise available?
electro1@infosec.pub · 1 pts · 2y
Melatonin@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 10 pts · 2y
I heard one in Spanish that I liked.
"¡Si cocinas como camina me como hasta las raspitas!"
If you cook the way you walk, I'll eat even the scrapings from the pan.
hperrin@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 2y
Y’ever seen someone solve a Rubik’s cube in just 5 seconds?
Yeah, me neither.
Randelung@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 2y
Are you a plates in a drawer or plates in a cupboard kind of person?
I'm sure it'll work one of these days.
ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.ml · 10 pts · 2y
People put plates in drawers? I don't think I've seen anyone do that ever
boogetyboo@aussie.zone · 6 pts · 2y
Drawer gang
UnRelatedBurner@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 2y
cupboard, why?
Randelung@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y
No reason, it just says a lot about you as a person.
UnRelatedBurner@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 2y
so, what can you say about me?
Randelung@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 2y
well for one that you're probably taller than 1m20 :)
Randelung@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y
daltotron@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 2y
"What do you know about bionicles lore?"
Thavron@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 2y
Oh my
jet@hackertalks.com · 7 pts · 2y
[silently hands over 3d puzzle]
unreachable@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y
👉👌
Naich@lemmings.world · 7 pts · 2y
Pull my finger.
Crackhappy@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y
Oh fuck, I dropped this entire pack of cards on the ground. Can you help me?
cm0002@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y
Hi! So what do you think of assimilation?
yngmnwntr@lemmy.ml · 5 pts · 2y
I don't know if it's a pick up line, but when I get a girls number I immediately send her a picture of a rooster and ask if she likes unsolicited cock pics.
r_thndr@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 5 pts · 2y
I used to do that with Dick pics. Dick van Dyke, Dick Nixon, Andy Dick, Philip K. Dick ...
Mike835@kbin.social · 4 pts · 2y
Hey are you trying to blind me? Cause dang your clothes are stunning
nikaaa@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 2y
"you're pretty"
Nikls94@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 2y
[rolls D20 in front of her or on video. Nat 1.] Okay here goes nothing - [following my worst pickup line]
0_0j@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y
Me literally picking up a huge box with a fella: "don't you let go"
Septimaeus@infosec.pub · 2 pts · 2y
Lift and bonk later?
Emperor@feddit.uk · 2 pts · 2y
I'd be interested to know that myself as I've usually been so out of it quite what happened is unclear.
secret300@lemmy.sdf.org · 1 pts · 2y
I envy your heart because it's pumping inside you
BruceLee@lemmy.ml · 0 pts · 2y
Messi 좋아요 ?
wildbus8979@sh.itjust.works · -5 pts · 2y
Do you believe people with penises think with their dicks?