Trump Forced To Play Glockenspiel At Rally After Every Artist Bars Use Of Songs

https://theonion.com/trump-forced-to-play-glockenspiel-at-rally-after-every-artist-bars-use-of-songs/

374 points · 23 comments · view on lemmy.world

23 Comments

aeronmelon@lemmy.world · 38 pts · 1y (6 replies)

I know this is satire because there is no way Trump has any musical talent.

henfredemars@infosec.pub · 24 pts · 1y (4 replies)

It would also require effort and a degree of hand-eye coordination not typical for those in his age group with his degree of mental deterioration.

pearsaltchocolatebar@discuss.online · 5 pts · 1y (3 replies)

For a lot of geriatric musicians, playing is basically muscle memory.

NakariLexfortaine@lemm.ee · 5 pts · 1y (1 reply)

That also takes dedicating a good chunk of time to practice.

pearsaltchocolatebar@discuss.online · 2 pts · 1y

Many elderly people don't have a lot to do with their time, so that seems like a good thing

luciferofastora@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 1y

...contingent on having built that memory from years of practice. I don't know if there's any instrument I can imagine Trump playing, aside from tooting his own horn even when there's nothing to toot about.

phx@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 1y

Honestly, if this ever really happened it would be one thing that actually might make me want to see such a rally.

just_another_person@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 1y (2 replies)

Jokes on you, Onion, because that is very clearly a Vibraphone and not a Glockenspiel. DEUUUUHHHHHHHH

Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1y

Glockenspiel is a much funnier word, though 😁

chuckleslord@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1y

Me, a true musician, they're all just sound sticks you hit. Unlike rain sticks (sound sticks you flip) and drum sticks (sound sticks to hit with)

BassTurd@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Came for the headline, stayed for the picture, and really enjoyed the article. Well done The Onion.

Synthuir@lemmy.ml · 5 pts · 1y

You should really look into their print edition that they just relaunched, then! Really cheap and a great way to support the new ownership.

thejml@lemm.ee · 14 pts · 1y

And I’m sure it was the Best glockenspiel performance ever. Professional musicians have likely told him they’ve never heard anything as great.

p5yk0t1km1r4ge@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 1y

I really hate this timeline. We are at a point now where I thought this was legit

lulztard@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 1y

Oh. It's the onion. Didn't realize until well after deep into comments.

morphballganon@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1y (2 replies)

He could always play classical... though that might cause his followers to grow some brain cells and leave.

Phegan@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1y (1 reply)
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luciferofastora@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 1y

I know of one dude that listens to classical music while working - manual, not particularly brain intensive, but somehow he manages to be too daft for that anyway and does a shoddy job. He's a contractor in a niche field tho, and there's not a whole lot of them around, so his job security doesn't strictly hinge on quality.

It's definitely not "smart people music".

RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1y (2 replies)

And he's a damned virtuoso.

YerbaYerba@lemm.ee · 4 pts · 1y (1 reply)

A true idiot savant

watson387@sopuli.xyz · 6 pts · 1y

A true idiot

BigMacHole@lemm.ee · 4 pts · 1y

I'm a Republican who Does His Own Research and The Onion is LIBRUL PROPAGANDA! WAKE UP Sheeple! Kid Rock would GLADLY play at Trump's Rally! The Onion is the DEEP STATE!

huquad@lemmy.ml · 3 pts · 1y

Feeling hot hot hot!

rumschlumpel@feddit.org · 3 pts · 1y

If only there weren't Republican musicians ...