My last name is a gemstone that is already used by strippers/pornstars often so I would probably keep that as the second part of my name but come up with something funny and/or masculine sounding for the first part since I'm a straight guy and not a female stripper/porn star.

Fuck it ill go with Dick Diamond.

CameronDev@programming.dev · 12 pts · 1y (2 replies)

Gives you a opportunity for great catch phrase:

"I'm as hard as a diamond" "Dont bite this diamond" "This diamond performs under intense heat and pressure"

Majorllama@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 1y

I have used all of these and more accompanied by a goofy smirk. My girlfriends have not found it as funny as I have. Haha

vodkasolution@feddit.it · 6 pts · 1y

"Diamonds are forever" and "Diamonds are a woman's best friends" are interesting catch phrases too

prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 1y

Is this Jack Ruby's lemmy account?

AmidFuror@fedia.io · 17 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Too Many Pancakes.

Because I'm fat but flat.

toomanypancakes@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 1y

Fair lmao

Samsonreturns@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Chode Loadington

ShepherdPie@midwest.social · 8 pts · 1y

And I, Load Chodington, will be your arch nemesis and steal all your roles.

Asafum@feddit.nl · 12 pts · 1y

Ugot Badtaste

If you're watching me then you definitely do. Lol

AlDente@sh.itjust.works · 11 pts · 1y

Al Dente: the perfect balance between soft and hard.

Kolanaki@yiffit.net · 10 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Phil McKraken

toiletobserver@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1y

Phil McRevis
Clyde Taurez
Dick Fitzwell
Haywood Jablome
Harry Ballzanya

HelluvaKick@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 1y

Roy Mustang. Always thought that guy was wasting his time in the military with a name like that

bizarroland@fedia.io · 9 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Rock Hardman

Default_Defect@midwest.social · 8 pts · 1y

A Hideo Kojima inspired porno, no doubt.

WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today · 8 pts · 1y

Nano Soft

ragebutt@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 8 pts · 1y

I would go through LinkedIn and pick a person at random, use their name with the exact same spelling and any alphabet soup they have behind their name

Jerry Thompson, Esq Mary Kowalski, F.A.C.S. Dr. Alan Carter, DDS, FACP

These are all fake btw. I mean they may not be but if they are it’s genuinely a coincidence. That would be so weird

stinerman@midwest.social · 7 pts · 1y (3 replies)

Standard rules. Middle name and the street you grew up on.

Alan Woodbine.

otacon239@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 1y

Jared 832N County. Sexy

Walk_blesseD@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 4 pts · 1y

Johnson Street would be great for this… if I had one.

Nibodhika@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1y

Francisco 22...

YtA4QCam2A9j7EfTgHrH@infosec.pub · 7 pts · 1y

Average Richard

Apeman42@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 1y

George Washington Lemon Fresca

KingJalopy@lemm.ee · 6 pts · 1y

Nice Cockbra

Zier@fedia.io · 6 pts · 1y

Ghonna Reah.

FartsWithAnAccent@fedia.io · 6 pts · 1y

D O N G

minibyte@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 1y (1 reply)

[ removed ]

JackFrostNCola@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1y

Dragon Ballz D

ObsidianZed@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 1y

Hugh Jdisappointment

Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk · 6 pts · 1y

Jon Reremy

cowfodder@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1y

Dru Peacock

lengau@midwest.social · 5 pts · 1y (1 reply)

That One Guy.

"Ugh why is That One Guy suddenly in all the porn? He really ruins it!"

prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 1y

Two-Tone Malone?

trslim@pawb.social · 5 pts · 1y

Jasmine Mourningwood, and i would be a goth femboy, (so only a little change)

rc__buggy@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 1y

Silky Johnson

BigBenis@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1y

DrSleepless@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1y

Diablito Diablo

dicksteele@lemm.ee · 5 pts · 1y

biggerbogboy@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 1y

Busting balkaner

z3rOR0ne@lemmy.ml · 4 pts · 1y

G Hitman

secretlyaddictedtolinux@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1y

secretlyaddictedtodick

mysticpickle@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 1y

Tunacan Pete

KammicRelief@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1y

Mickey Mouth

BudgetBandit@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 1y

Probably something with "Bear“ and "small“ like BearySmalls or something idk I’m a short and very obese hetero guy - no one would wanna watch me besides a few FFAs whose preferences I cover.

andrewta@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1y

Curly McDick

Anatares@lemmynsfw.com · 3 pts · 1y

Tom Bots

Akasazh@feddit.nl · 3 pts · 1y

Steve Nippel (in a certain dialect of Dutch this not so mysteriously means 'stiff nipple')

daggermoon@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1y

Bukkake Bill

Nemo@slrpnk.net · 3 pts · 1y

Gregor Samson

Heikki@lemm.ee · 3 pts · 1y

[Lester the Molester Cockenschtuff