What do I do in this position?

Use the duck-sized horses

Ahh, the old "duck, duck, goose" gambit made famous by Berezowski in the 1955 Helsinki Chess nationals. The classic defense for this is to hunch down quickly.

En passant

Play the bread crumbs gambit. Works every time.

Google Duckduckgo

Duck for cover.

It's hopeless, you're quackered.

You're gonna need a lot of grapes....

and a lemonade stand

Flood the board. Most of your army will survive it

go get a drink, it's a draw

Probably wait for white to move.

Quakers?!

This is pretty much book moves.

1. Duck

The ancient texts say that you can convert all of them into a large horse sized one.

En quackant.

Are you black or the duck army?

1. Take out bank loan
2. Buy Jeep Rubicon
3. Ducks are automatically transferred to dashboard
4. E4, mate in 6

Sacrifice a few bread crumbs early to improve your position

Resign

Duck army

Just grab on to some DuckTales.

You gotta put down the duckie if you wanna play the saxophone 🎷🎶

Surrender to the supreme power of Duck

Rubber duck debugging

Youve got like 15 chocobos vs a totally default board, i think you just win.

Edit: I'm guessing your king has some pretty good materia, too. I don't know who let you load a save like this against an opponent this week, but it would take some pretty spectacular contrivance to lose this.