Im always that guy but i would go to some kind of official or something so they csn investigate it because thats some freaky shit. Also to not ruin the whole fucking ecosystem of earth id guess theres a range on it? Thats what i would try to figure out so i can keep em out. Of course if i dont act in time and/or fail to accomplish my mission to keep em out of my ass i would just violently fucking kill myself. Its not worth it to live with fucking bugs in your ass.
Station my chameleon by my booty and prepare to shoot myself in the face.
Imagine every insect that can walk, crawl, or fly bombarding your dwelling. Fuck it, throw arachnids in there as well. They will find a way in, you will be covered head-to-toe in swarming insects of 1,000 varieties.
Depending on where you live, you got a hour, maybe a whole day. But they'll eventually break the windows and doors. At that time, your ass will belong to them.
In other news, I'm considering a new horror short.
A great deal of what we'd call insects outside of the scientific community are so small you can either barely see them or can't see them at all unaided. The larger bugs would be getting sloppy seconds.
48 Comments
SassyRamen@lemmy.world · 60 pts · 1y
First, I save this meme to my phone.
Second, I attempt to legally enter the US.
Third, I have all my rights revoked and get kidnapped by ICE.
Fourth, I wait and watch as the insects all get eaten before they can get to me.
See, being detained by Trump and his lizard people doesn't have to be all bad.
TimeNaan@lemmy.world · 38 pts · 1y
Buy lifelong supply of wine corks.
shneancy@lemmy.world · 39 pts · 1y
without a base without a trace
just get yourself a lifetime supply of buttplugs like a responsible adult
Havald@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 1y
What I can't see can't hurt me
I_Fart_Glitter@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1y
Rooskie91@discuss.online · 33 pts · 1y
Get an only fans page and cash in on people's weird fetishes.
brown567@sh.itjust.works · 17 pts · 1y
Rapidly dig a small hole in the ground and resolve to place a donkey in it. This is now my "ass hole"
Then run away as fast as possible to survive the impending insect plague
gratux@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 16 pts · 1y
Butt plug
hoch@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 1y
E-stim version doubles as a bug zapper
thespcicifcocean@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 1y
do you really need the threat of butthole bugs to wear a butt plug though?
Derpenheim@lemmy.zip · 14 pts · 1y
Try not to finish too quickly
WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1y
People like you are what makes the world a unique and beautiful place.
GregorGizeh@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 1y
I think your username is more appropriate here
DeceasedPassenger@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 1y
Cordyceps@sopuli.xyz · 6 pts · 1y
Lucky you, I just imagine one of those hawaiian centipedes snuggly chilling there and looking for a home
BagOfHeavyStones@piefed.social · 13 pts · 1y
Glue a gecko to my taint?
HowAbt2day@futurology.today · 4 pts · 1y
What part of the gecko are gonna glue to that dainty taint?
Blackout@fedia.io · 12 pts · 1y
Charge them rent and use that money to buy a social media company.
daggermoon@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 1y
butt plug
trum_pam_pam@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1y
Mom please
daggermoon@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1y
mommy? is that you?
halvar@lemy.lol · 1 pts · 1y
are you my mommy?
ftbd@feddit.org · 8 pts · 1y
I've seen so many of these, I forgot what the guy actually looks like
Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1y
I remember him looking basically like an IASIP character who might try to turn Mac straight and ruin his marriage in the attempt
tino@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 1y
Fight back. Eat chili.
Adulated_Aspersion@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 1y
Sit back, relax, and enjoy myself.
MrShankles@reddthat.com · 1 pts · 1y
Open wide
AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip · 6 pts · 1y
Im always that guy but i would go to some kind of official or something so they csn investigate it because thats some freaky shit. Also to not ruin the whole fucking ecosystem of earth id guess theres a range on it? Thats what i would try to figure out so i can keep em out. Of course if i dont act in time and/or fail to accomplish my mission to keep em out of my ass i would just violently fucking kill myself. Its not worth it to live with fucking bugs in your ass.
OneWomanCreamTeam@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 1y
Well, enough insects out there are venomous/poisonous so you probably wouldn't survive long anyway.
FQQD@lemmy.ohaa.xyz · 6 pts · 1y
Open wide
MrShankles@reddthat.com · 2 pts · 1y
Damn, I just responded to a comment with the exact same thing. Great minds I guess
monogram@feddit.nl · 5 pts · 1y
ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1y
Formiphilia is like the worst fetish...🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮
shalafi@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1y
Station my chameleon by my booty and prepare to shoot myself in the face.
Imagine every insect that can walk, crawl, or fly bombarding your dwelling. Fuck it, throw arachnids in there as well. They will find a way in, you will be covered head-to-toe in swarming insects of 1,000 varieties.
Depending on where you live, you got a hour, maybe a whole day. But they'll eventually break the windows and doors. At that time, your ass will belong to them.
In other news, I'm considering a new horror short.
db2@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1y
A great deal of what we'd call insects outside of the scientific community are so small you can either barely see them or can't see them at all unaided. The larger bugs would be getting sloppy seconds.
loomy@lemy.lol · 4 pts · 1y
peteypete420@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 1y
Start by switching from boxers to briefs.
PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 1y
Enjoy my last day on earth with a citronella candle up my ass
kshade@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1y
Postmortal_Pop@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1y
I choked on my coffee when this scrolled on screen.
dependencyinjection@discuss.tchncs.de · 3 pts · 1y
Start an only fans, some freaks out there and I’m finna get rich
explodicle@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 1y
Die for a good cause to spare Earth from the immediate ecological collapse of all bugs going to one place.
I_Has_A_Hat@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1y
Wear pants.
Grandwolf319@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 1y
Take a looong bath.
Insects can’t survive under water
LodeMike@lemmy.today · 10 pts · 1y
Some can
kayzeekayzee@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 1y
Some do
beebarfbadger@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1y
If I may introduce: your newest nightmare https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_diving_beetle
Gates9@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 1y
Feral hogs
Soapbox@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 1y
I guess I'm going to live in a beekeeper suit treated with permethrin.
halvar@lemy.lol · 1 pts · 1y
who needs insects up their assholes i got fucking mosquitoes trying to kill me just here
Yareckt@lemmynsfw.com · 1 pts · 1y
Maybe I can keep riding trains until most of them have died from exhaustion.