Vitamins are good but idk....

463 points · 42 comments · view on lemmy.world

42 Comments

Agent641@lemmy.world · 129 pts · 1y (12 replies)

There's a myth that carrots are good for your eyesight, but what's interesting is that carrots are actually really good for your memory. I lost one up my ass when I was 12 and never forgot that moment.

kameecoding@lemmy.world · -34 pts · 1y (11 replies)

I think in the future, you should use the version with "my uncle stuck one up my ass when I was 12 and never forgot about it."

It's a better punchline imo.

qarbone@lemmy.world · 49 pts · 1y (10 replies)

What about being sexually abused by an older family member makes it a better punchline?

surewhynotlem@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 1y (5 replies)

Some people cope with the horribleness of reality by trying to laugh. I can't say it's a good or a bad way to cope.

But remember folks, gallows humor is only funny when you're one of the ones on the gallows. If no one stuck a carrot up your ass, it's not your place to make the joke.

outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 7 pts · 1y

I have had a carrot up my ass but it was overall a powitive experience.

Bourff@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1y (3 replies)

So we're gatekeeping humor now?

surewhynotlem@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1y (2 replies)

Yep. Does that make you angry? We're gatekeeping that too. Get over it.

Bourff@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Thank you, thought police! I was about to make an illegal joke but your comment saved civilization from it.

surewhynotlem@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1y

You can make whatever joke you like. I'm just letting you know how it'll be received and why.

Akasazh@feddit.nl · 5 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Black humor is an important coping mechanism

MotoAsh@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 1y
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kameecoding@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Oh no, you forgot you carrot in there

qarbone@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1y

That doesn't answer anyone's question.

smegger@aussie.zone · 61 pts · 1y (4 replies)

There are no bites in that carrot. I'd avoid touching it

sramder@lemmy.world · 43 pts · 1y (3 replies)

Could have just been washing it for later consumption. Best to see if it’s still warm.

rumschlumpel@feddit.org · 10 pts · 1y (2 replies)

Smell it ... if you dare.

sramder@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1y

IDK man… in my experience vegan balloon-knot and carrots 🥕 🐖🦩🎟️🤙

I’m just guessing on the vegan part obviously…

College is tough, sometimes you just forget your carrot in the shower. —Sigmund Fraud

NatakuNox@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1y

Why stop there?

MyNamesTotallyRobert@lemmynsfw.com · 37 pts · 1y (6 replies)
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CorruptCheesecake@lemmy.world · 24 pts · 1y (1 reply)
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Alwaysnownevernotme@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 1y

I curse the day I learned to read.

Bane_Killgrind@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 12 pts · 1y

e_e

Karjalan@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1y

"accidentally"

Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1y

ಠ⁠︵⁠ಠ

WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 1y

Well, it probably smelled better than it was, so quite lucky.

Zier@fedia.io · 31 pts · 1y

That aquaglide tells me someone was trying to get their 5 (inches) a day. Stay healthy bitches!!

hardcoreufo@lemmy.world · 24 pts · 1y

Get another carrot and when they come home just start chompping down on it nonchalantly. Total power move to establish your dominance.

diemartin@sh.itjust.works · 19 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Cucumbers are better for...uhh...vitamin D? idk

Godric@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 1y

IDK, this carrot looks rich in vitamin D

molten@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 1y (1 reply)

I'd eat it. I don't mind leftovers and I hate waste.

hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 5 pts · 1y

it might be that it wasn't used for eating

Hikuro93@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 1y

No one does, judging by the look of that one. 🤫

NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone · 8 pts · 1y (4 replies)

This is remarkably common among visitors to A&E.

Trainguyrom@reddthat.com · 5 pts · 1y

Have you seen the price of dildos? I can't blame people for getting creative with household objects!

Vinstaal0@feddit.nl · 4 pts · 1y (2 replies)

Accident and emergency people?

QuoVadisHomines@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 1y (1 reply)

I think it is accident and emergency wards

Vinstaal0@feddit.nl · 3 pts · 1y

Now the sentence makes more sense ....

dalekcaan@feddit.nl · 8 pts · 1y

Give it a nibble. You might like it.

WanderWisley@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 1y

It might go well in a fresh salad or stew.

MuskyMelon@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 1y

I don't think that's for eating

DamienGramatacus@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1y

Never heard of a Shower Orange? Just a veggie version of that I imagine... I'm sure...

son_named_bort@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1y

Bugs Bunny

one_knight_scripting@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1y

Showers are for oranges or IPAs.

sramder@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1y

Nobody.

ExploitedAmerican@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1y

Someones in the mood for a vitamin alright…. Vitamin D!!!! Lmfao