Incompetent Assassin Misses Largest Head On Planet

https://thehardtimes.net/culture/incompetent-assassin-misses-largest-head-on-planet/

The attempted assassination of conservative activist Charlie Kirk is drawing condemnation across the board for the shooter's inability to hit a giant target.

669 points · 56 comments · view on lemmy.world

56 Comments

TxzK@lemmy.zip · 69 pts · 343d (3 replies)
Mongostein@lemmy.ca · 25 pts · 343d

I keep trying to find the spot where it doesn’t look fake and I can’t!

vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works · 11 pts · 343d (1 reply)

He looks kinda normal at 120%.

VoteNixon2016@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 343d

That's because 120% is just Adam Driver

You've got to get to like 85% before it starts being unbelievably small

Slab_Bulkhead@lemmy.world · 51 pts · 343d

TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world · 32 pts · 343d (1 reply)

marighost@piefed.social · 7 pts · 343d

That face is way too big to be Charlie's!

bizarroland@lemmy.world · 23 pts · 343d (29 replies)

The last I heard he actually died, though.

mkwt@lemmy.world · 60 pts · 343d (16 replies)

What I heard is:

  • 200 yards
  • 1 round expended
  • 1 dead
  • no collateral damage

Sounds like a pretty competent assassination to me.

ScreamingFirehawk@feddit.uk · 19 pts · 343d

Nice work 47

Raiderkev@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 343d (2 replies)

Gotta get maga back on his side and forget about Epstein somehow.

frog_brawler@lemmy.world · 23 pts · 343d (1 reply)
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qarbone@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 343d

It's definitely what he would've wanted. Trust me, bro. Release the unaltered Epstein files for ol' bobbledead Chuckie Kirk.

frog_brawler@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 343d (11 replies)
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PolydoreSmith@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 343d (4 replies)

Oh yeah, how many people have you killed at 200 yards?

YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today · 20 pts · 343d (1 reply)

Listen here you little shit, I'll have you know.....

I don't feel like searching for it, but I think that pasta ends in with Vaporeon being the most compatible blah blah blah.

dhaonna_aontaithe@midwest.social · 7 pts · 343d

I looked it up for ya!

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more

thermal_shock@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 343d

Nada

frog_brawler@lemmy.world · -1 pts · 343d
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thermal_shock@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 343d

Can only get better from here!

Fedizen@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 343d (4 replies)

Plugging somebody in a single shot like that is not easy to do.

thermal_shock@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 343d

Not to mention getting away with it so far

thisguyfucks@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 343d (1 reply)
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thermal_shock@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 343d

It's not whether we could, it's would you? This man or woman stepped up and took out the trash. Hero in my book.

frog_brawler@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 343d
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FaceDeer@fedia.io · 40 pts · 343d (10 replies)

Yeah. I actually watched the video of him being shot and the statements about him being in "critical condition" were clearly just "we don't want to admit he's dead yet." Not a video for the faint of heart. The shot blew open his neck arteries, I've never seen a fountain of chunky salsa like that in a real-life video before. And he instantly went into the "fencing response" pose, which is also a terrible sign in its own right even without the blood fountain. There were medical professionals commenting over on Reddit that if he'd been shot like that while he was lying on an operating table with a team of surgeons standing around him ready to get to work he still wouldn't have made it.

Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world · 25 pts · 343d (3 replies)
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krunklom@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 343d

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

philosloppy@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 343d (1 reply)

the fencing response is the result of brain stem trauma, not pain.

Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 343d
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P00ptart@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 343d

Watched it? Shit I fuckin downloaded it.

Edit: agreed with those medical professionals. He would've been dead in less than 2-3 minutes even with the best surgical team in the country. That shit was like Tarantino levels of blood.

hexdream@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 343d (4 replies)

I'm so out of the loop these days. Where is a source to watch/ download the video uncensored?

zabadoh@ani.social · 4 pts · 343d (1 reply)

Bluesky. There's a couple of angles.

https://bsky.app/profile/ulfh3dnar.bsky.social/post/3lyiwc7aodk2v taken down

https://bsky.app/profile/maverickhammed.bsky.social/post/3lyjdfnwqd222

edit: I believe some of the bsky posts were taken down.

Of course, there are all the angles you could ever want on watchpeopledie

hexdream@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 343d

Thank you.

FaceDeer@fedia.io · 3 pts · 343d (1 reply)

I saw it on X via a link from Reddit, but when I check that X link now it's been taken down. Bastion of free speech and all.

hexdream@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 343d

Ah. I have not been on x since before it transitioned.

ProIsh@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 343d

Have an upvote!

P00ptart@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 343d (8 replies)

Horseshit. The head is far too easy of a shot. Like Mr. Mackey. This person wanted a challenge.

Fedizen@lemmy.world · 22 pts · 343d (5 replies)

I do wonder if the neck shot was intentional or a miss. If the guy who did it is named mario I'm going to lose my shit.

AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 343d (1 reply)

First name, Mario, last name, Brothers.

thermal_shock@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 343d

Luigi Mario Brothers.

P00ptart@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 343d

Omfg that would just be legendary.

Modern_medicine_isnt@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 342d

200 yards doesn't sound like a lot thanks to movies and such. But it's not trivial. Some practice would have been required. And don't forget the target wasn't motionless. One could also assume the shooter probably was a bit nervous too. So I doubt they really picked the spot unless they were a trained sniper.

ArmchairAce1944@discuss.online · 1 pts · 342d

Not just his name, but he also needs to be a little chubby at least for the Mario to work.

TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 343d (1 reply)

...mmmmkayyyy

YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 343d

"mmmgood"- big Frieda

tio_bira@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 343d (1 reply)

Nah, i think it's the smalllest face on the planet, it gives the wrong impression

ArmchairAce1944@discuss.online · 4 pts · 342d

He couldn't aim for the face. The face was too small! So he aimed for something else.

robocall@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 343d (4 replies)

404: Page Not Found

Sorry, we couldn't find a page at this URL

I can't find this article on the site. It's possible they took it down.

possumparty@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 50 pts · 343d (3 replies)

They did, they posted this before he was confirmed dead and updated it with "Antivaxxer finally takes a shot"

cheers_queers@lemmy.zip · 12 pts · 343d

golf clap

Dragonstaff@leminal.space · 4 pts · 342d (1 reply)

That looks deleted now too.

possumparty@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 5 pts · 342d

cowards

kkj@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 10 pts · 343d

I don't think they were aiming for the largest head on the planet. Graham Linehan was nowhere in the area.

They missed the smallest face on the planet, but that's understandable.

ThePantser@sh.itjust.works · 10 pts · 343d

A "C" is still passing

Wilco@lemmy.zip · 10 pts · 343d

Amazing reporting.

I would argue the shooter's aim time was too conservative. He took too long and fouled the shot.

ArkanianOffshoot@feddit.org · 8 pts · 343d (1 reply)
BreadOven@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 342d

Doing the work that needs to be done. Thanks.

stinky@redlemmy.com · 5 pts · 343d

darn

curiousaur@reddthat.com · 2 pts · 343d (2 replies)
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rhombus@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 342d

I don’t have the stomach to watch the video, but from the sounds of it he was almost definitely unconscious immediately and dead a minute later.

RickyRigatoni@retrolemmy.com · 1 pts · 342d

Unfortunately his thoughts were probably just "what happened why am I wet" before passing out.

Kind of like me on a tuesday night.

Fedizen@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 343d

Lol

Lemminary@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 343d

The neck was just as thick like a thumb, so hey!