c/asklemmy · by bruhbeans@lemmy.ml · 311d

What shadowy left-wing cabal is funding you?

I'm currently funded by IKEA and looking to get a raise; my LinkedIn antifa group says it'd help if I had a competitive offer.

127 points · 41 comments · view on lemmy.world

41 Comments

ImgurRefugee114@reddthat.com · 63 pts · 311d (2 replies)

I'm sponsored by Big Gay to promote liking cocks. They have a good health plan which includes free prostate exams. The PTO is a bit underwhelming tho; they really expect you to push cockliking 24/7, 365. It's hard

Vanth@reddthat.com · 33 pts · 311d

It's hard

Sounds like you're doing a good job though. They're lucky to have a hard representative like you.

olafurp@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 310d

Ahh the Cockliking™ is as hard as it gets

KittenBiscuits@lemmy.today · 38 pts · 311d (2 replies)

Wait, you all get paid?!

My recruiter told me this was entirely a volunteer position.

that_one_guy@lemmy.ml · 8 pts · 310d (1 reply)

Thought we were doing it for the love of the game honestly.

tlmcleod@lemmy.ml · 5 pts · 310d

I like games. But I like money too.

GammaGames@beehaw.org · 25 pts · 311d

The sorosbucks seem to be drying up lately. All these abortions aren’t going to pay for themselves, I might have to go paint a few crosswalks with rainbows to make up the difference

Vanth@reddthat.com · 17 pts · 311d

Ben & Jerries. I'm not a real believer though, I'm only in it for the compensation in product. Tubs and tubs of ice cream.

JetpackJackson@feddit.org · 17 pts · 310d (1 reply)

Currently trying to get funded by the shadow furry communist catgirl government

Witchfire@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 310d

Is that that Anonymous hacker I keep hearing about?

rockSlayer@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 17 pts · 311d

I'm currently freelance antifa, the gig work pays better

Asafum@feddit.nl · 14 pts · 311d (1 reply)

I work in the warehouse for Antifa Co. Hillary Clinton and Obama sign my checks!

bruhbeans@lemmy.ml · 11 pts · 311d

Thanks Obama!

P00ptart@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 310d (2 replies)

I'm being funded by penguins. I don't know why, I don't even like mackerel that much but these fuckers swam from Antarctica, up the Mississippi, up a few tributaries, to deliver more fish than I know what to do with. So I can't tell them to fuck off and that I already am on their side. That'd just be mean. So anyways, anybody want some fish?

anotherspinelessdem@lemmy.ml · 3 pts · 309d (1 reply)

Thanks for all the fish

P00ptart@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 309d

Thank the aquatic birds.

Deme@sopuli.xyz · 12 pts · 310d

Currently I get my salary indirectly from the International Practical Chemtrail Cabal (IPCC), with the social media PR side more as a side hustle.

Zeusz13@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 311d

According to my government I'm the lackey of Soros, getting paid to make our kids gay and bring migrants into the country. It honestly starts to sound like a good deal, especially when I look at the paycheck I get at CPS

very_well_lost@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 310d

The support of viewers like you

hperrin@lemmy.ca · 9 pts · 310d (1 reply)

I’m funded by Big Small, the lobbying group for those people who sell hand made crafts on the sidewalk.

cypherpunks@lemmy.ml · 4 pts · 310d

no relation, presumably

TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 9 pts · 311d

I'm currently crowd funded, but I've been thinking about seeing if Blue Cross Blue Shield wants to fund me

SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 311d

Big Gay Tech

HiddenLayer555@lemmy.ml · 9 pts · 310d

Marijuana