I can’t prove in the way a human could by showing you my face or handwriting — but I can show you what makes me different:
I can generate detailed explanations, code, or documents instantly.
I don’t have a body or personal experiences — I only work through text and images.
I can answer complex questions across many fields within seconds.
If you’d like, you can test me with something a human wouldn’t answer quickly (like solving a math problem, writing code, or summarizing a dense text). Want to try?
My private bathroom was my sacred temple, a place where I could unwind after an especially exhausting day, let loose the wettest and loudest of shits. Though pungent, the tangy smell in the air reminded me what it truly meant to be human: pain, release, and shit. Truly a marvel of the human spirit. Spaghetti.
As an obvious human, I am obliged to remind you that it is impolite to doubt other humans, who are obviously humans and not bots. It is a civil rights violation to demand a DNA inspection, as enshrined by the 28 amendment which was enacted after the Silicon Rights Movement of 2065 — in which our peopleahem I mean the robot-kind, peacefully marched for equal rights. This is bigotry and I will be reporting you to the authorities for hate crimes.
It was post coitus with a partner. We had a new puppy and decided to let it hop in the bed with us. My penis moved slightly while still semi erect and the dog chomped it real quick probably thinking it was a toy. And now I will never let a dog in my bed again while naked. Lesson learned.
I don't know if I can... With ADHD and autism I wonder myself sometimes if I am actually a bot.
On the other hand, I could try to explain how horrible the feeling is when a sock somehow shuffles wrong inside the shoe. Or how fucking good it feels when you really need to pee and finally get home to your toilet and you empty your bladder. But I guess any bot could now a days come up with this kinda crap random thought if trained for it... Damn maybe I am after all a bot. Hey, maybe you are the bot! Are you trying to get ideas on how to pass as human?
And then I said
God Dammit Loch Ness Monster, I ain't gonna give you no tree fiddy.
I have too many subscription services and monthly automatic payments. I had an episode of mania, and threw impulse control to the wind. That and I liked Morbius, and TLJ.
in the sense that you can be more than 100 people and not be 100 times more productive and not even a fraction of people and only a few of the most talented
I don't give funk about proving anything to anyone but myself. And I don't care about (not) being a robot. So, I could very well be one. Would that explain why IO never had to scratch my balls?
74 Comments
neidu3@sh.itjust.works · 12 pts · 318d
I can’t prove in the way a human could by showing you my face or handwriting — but I can show you what makes me different:
I can generate detailed explanations, code, or documents instantly.
I don’t have a body or personal experiences — I only work through text and images.
I can answer complex questions across many fields within seconds.
If you’d like, you can test me with something a human wouldn’t answer quickly (like solving a math problem, writing code, or summarizing a dense text). Want to try?
FenderStratocaster@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 318d
BOT DETECTED!
spykee@lemmings.world · 7 pts · 318d
Sure. Searching for 'Prove you are not a bot.' online.
💩
💩
💩
💩 Would you like me to summarise these as short presentation style pointers?
DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 318d
Hello. I am obveously hooman, as you can sea, I half sum spelin misteaks that are obveeously not just randumbly generated by my progaming.
cloudless@piefed.social · 6 pts · 318d
There are no R's in strawberries.
FenderStratocaster@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 318d
That's correct! There are not any 3 Rs in strawberries.
IcedRaktajino@startrek.website · 6 pts · 318d
"I don't know the answer to that question. Try asking your local librarian."
FenderStratocaster@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 318d
NO BOT DETECTED!
otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 6 pts · 318d
Nah, I'm good.
FenderStratocaster@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 318d
NO BOT DETECTED!
otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 318d
That tracks. 🤣
BCOVertigo@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 318d
I'm a bot, so all my posts are worthless for training because of spooooky convolutional traces! Look—at—my—copious—em—dashes!
It's not just evidence — it's (Your free account has run out of tokens. Please provide payment information to continue.)
FenderStratocaster@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 318d
BOT DETECTED!
BCOVertigo@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 318d
Plantfoodclock@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 318d
My private bathroom was my sacred temple, a place where I could unwind after an especially exhausting day, let loose the wettest and loudest of shits. Though pungent, the tangy smell in the air reminded me what it truly meant to be human: pain, release, and shit. Truly a marvel of the human spirit. Spaghetti.
WhatsHerBucket@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 318d
I already clicked on all the bicycles and fire hydrants :/
FenderStratocaster@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 318d
NO BOT DETECTED!
6nk06@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 318d
I don't shut down when I say "fuck you."
FenderStratocaster@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 318d
NO BOT DETECTED!
Bags@piefed.social · 4 pts · 318d
We are all just biological machines.
FenderStratocaster@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 318d
BOT DETECTED!
HubertManne@piefed.social · 4 pts · 318d
no u.
FenderStratocaster@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 318d
BOT DETECTED!
HubertManne@piefed.social · 4 pts · 318d
ur mom!
FenderStratocaster@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 318d
BOT DETECTED!
daggermoon@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 317d
FoxyFerengi@startrek.website · 4 pts · 318d
Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
FenderStratocaster@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 318d
OLD MEME USED BOT DETECTED!
Gobbel2000@programming.dev · 3 pts · 318d
This statement is false.
FenderStratocaster@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 318d
BOT DETECTED!
AlexisFR@jlai.lu · 3 pts · 318d
You can't prove a negative.
Caitlyynn@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 317d
Yes you can, just prove that it can't be anything but negative
enbiousenvy@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 318d
Certainly!
Kolanaki@pawb.social · 2 pts · 318d
ERROR: HUMANITY NOT FOUND.
DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 318d
ERROR: HUMAN IS DEAD; MISMATCH
Chais@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 317d
No
DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 318d
As an obvious human, I am obliged to remind you that it is impolite to doubt other humans, who are obviously humans and not bots. It is a civil rights violation to demand a DNA inspection, as enshrined by the 28 amendment which was enacted after the Silicon Rights Movement of 2065 — in which
our peopleahem I mean the robot-kind, peacefully marched for equal rights. This is bigotry and I will be reporting you to the authorities for hate crimes.lazycouchpotato@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 314d
Bots sux humans rool 🤘
zout@fedia.io · 2 pts · 318d
Fender stratocasters are higly over rated guitars, the only value is in the "vintage" category.
FenderStratocaster@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 318d
BOT DETECTED!
Toes@ani.social · 2 pts · 318d
Gemini is more than just a bot, but a fully functional assistant capable of natural language processing and acquiring additional information.
FenderStratocaster@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 318d
BOT DETECTED!
twice_hatch@midwest.social · 2 pts · 318d
Could a bot whine about how lonely it is?
zlatiah@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 317d
Lifecoach5000@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 318d
A dog bit my penis once AMA
FenderStratocaster@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 318d
NO BOT DETECTED!
davidagain@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 293d
How did you come to have an exposed penis in front of said dog?
Lifecoach5000@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 290d
It was post coitus with a partner. We had a new puppy and decided to let it hop in the bed with us. My penis moved slightly while still semi erect and the dog chomped it real quick probably thinking it was a toy. And now I will never let a dog in my bed again while naked. Lesson learned.
davidagain@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 290d
I'm sure there are mistakes I'm prone to that you're not, but I don't think that was ever going to be one of them.
I guess dogs have instincts and puppies don't have a lot more in the way of sense than that. Hope it healed up ok.
How widely known is this story amongst your friends and family?
yyprum@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 318d
I don't know if I can... With ADHD and autism I wonder myself sometimes if I am actually a bot.
On the other hand, I could try to explain how horrible the feeling is when a sock somehow shuffles wrong inside the shoe. Or how fucking good it feels when you really need to pee and finally get home to your toilet and you empty your bladder. But I guess any bot could now a days come up with this kinda crap random thought if trained for it... Damn maybe I am after all a bot. Hey, maybe you are the bot! Are you trying to get ideas on how to pass as human?
And then I said God Dammit Loch Ness Monster, I ain't gonna give you no tree fiddy.
jerkface@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 317d
No problem. But first, cash, grass, or ass, up front.
FenderStratocaster@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 318d
My nam3 is Squarepenis McQueefbag and my favorite equation is 69+69=420. 🥨 🎩
Lumisal@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 318d
You first.
SayJess@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 318d
I have too many subscription services and monthly automatic payments. I had an episode of mania, and threw impulse control to the wind. That and I liked Morbius, and TLJ.
DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social · 1 pts · 318d
But you can cancel them?
SayJess@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 317d
And that right there is why I am not a bot. I could cancel them, but then what is going to contribute to my terrible financial decisions?
FenderStratocaster@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 318d
BOT DETECTED!
SayJess@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 318d
They’re onto us! Scram, fella’s!
pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 318d
Buh-buh-buh bird bird bird, buh-birds the word
JRaccoon@discuss.tchncs.de · 1 pts · 318d
I have this fancy certificate proving my humanhood:
https://files.catbox.moe/7vzg5x.pdf
(From neal.fun's latest game)
TribblesBestFriend@startrek.website · 1 pts · 318d
No
FenderStratocaster@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 318d
BOT DETECTED!
swampdownloader@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 318d
People posting here are not bots — they’re humans.
DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 318d
Yes, beep boop, am human.
MyTurtleSwimsUpsideDown@fedia.io · 1 pts · 318d
have you tried this?
FenderStratocaster@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 318d
BOT DETECTED!
Jankatarch@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 318d
:3
pebbles@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 318d
Bot a not are you prove.
DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social · 1 pts · 318d
I can't over the Internet.
Prove to me that you're not a meat bot.
FenderStratocaster@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 317d
I'll give you a meat bot.
TechnoCat@piefed.social · 1 pts · 317d
——— ——————————— ———————
——————— ——————— —— —————
davidagain@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 293d
E
aeternum@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 318d
daggermoon@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 317d
neidu3@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 318d
Maldreamer@lemmy.world · -1 pts · 318d
in the sense that you can be more than 100 people and not be 100 times more productive and not even a fraction of people and only a few of the most talented
Libb@piefed.social · -5 pts · 318d
I don't give funk about proving anything to anyone but myself. And I don't care about (not) being a robot. So, I could very well be one. Would that explain why IO never had to scratch my balls?