Covenant Eyes is the app used by House Speaker Mike Johnson and his son to monitor each other's internet behavior.
Perfectly normal thing to do.
😒
WTF? If you have to have someone monitor your net usage to force yourself to behave like a decent individual, guess what? You're not a decent individual.
Nah, I'm usually flaccid when I kink-shame. If I'm hard, then I'm too busy... "enjoying myself" to be bothering with throwing on the robes of sanctimony.
Decent individuals aren’t hypocrites. If you want to watch porn, watch porn. Just don’t make a big deal about controlling other people watching porn.
Unless dad knows it's going to come out that Junior's proclivities came from how he (dad) treated him when he was a child. It's often the loudest crusaders who are covering something up.
I'm assuming that there's more we're not getting (yet?), but I also know, in those circles, they say things like, "If a man can't keep his house in order, how can keep a church/company/etc. in order?" and that might mean finding a way to keep it under wraps and keep his son from prosecution. He failed to control his son, and he failed to game the system to keep this out of court and out of the news, so he shant be trusted.
Yeah like, what's the son have to do with it?
Can't even really say "dad raised him wrong" (not that that's a good excuse anyway but bear with me) since it's his stepson.
Imagine trying to come up with a name that isn't terrifying and normalizes sexually spying on your friends and family and you fucking come up with "Covenant Eyes."
25 Comments
FunctionallyLiterate@lemmy.ca · 42 pts · 302d
Perfectly normal thing to do.
😒
WTF? If you have to have someone monitor your net usage to force yourself to behave like a decent individual, guess what? You're not a decent individual.
Hideakikarate@sh.itjust.works · 20 pts · 302d
Johnson puts the really racy stuff in his text messages, anyway.
Nasan@sopuli.xyz · 3 pts · 302d
He pays talented ASCII artists to create and text him depictions of the veiniest, thickest, juiciest barnyard animal dongs to him 3 times a day.
Wispy2891@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 302d
It exclusively encourages hiding stuff. Show a decoy phone with malware reporting your behavior and use the real phone for everything else
30p87@feddit.org · 4 pts · 302d
Or they just have a control and incest kink combined.
FunctionallyLiterate@lemmy.ca · -1 pts · 302d
"Or?" Wouldn't that confirm what I said?
30p87@feddit.org · 3 pts · 302d
If, then you're kinkshaming hard.
FunctionallyLiterate@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 302d
Nah, I'm usually flaccid when I kink-shame. If I'm hard, then I'm too busy... "enjoying myself" to be bothering with throwing on the robes of sanctimony.
zarkanian@sh.itjust.works · -1 pts · 302d
Because "decent individuals" don't view porn? Give me a break.
snowdrop@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 302d
Decent individuals aren’t hypocrites. If you want to watch porn, watch porn. Just don’t make a big deal about controlling other people watching porn.
qevlarr@lemmy.world · 28 pts · 302d
Isn't the 38 year old son their own person? This seems weird, even if Puritans deserve all the hate they get
MagicShel@lemmy.zip · 10 pts · 302d
Unless dad knows it's going to come out that Junior's proclivities came from how he (dad) treated him when he was a child. It's often the loudest crusaders who are covering something up.
presbypenguin@reddthat.com · 4 pts · 302d
I'm assuming that there's more we're not getting (yet?), but I also know, in those circles, they say things like, "If a man can't keep his house in order, how can keep a church/company/etc. in order?" and that might mean finding a way to keep it under wraps and keep his son from prosecution. He failed to control his son, and he failed to game the system to keep this out of court and out of the news, so he shant be trusted.
EtnaAtsume@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 302d
Yeah like, what's the son have to do with it? Can't even really say "dad raised him wrong" (not that that's a good excuse anyway but bear with me) since it's his stepson.
fluffykittycat@slrpnk.net · 4 pts · 302d
They've probably got some Mike Johnson ass crap going on let's be real
Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world · 20 pts · 302d
It's always the people you suspect the most.
JeeBaiChow@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 302d
It's for when people watch porn. Not for when they do porn. Or rape minors.
Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 302d
But thank Jesus he wasn't watching porn.
plz1@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 302d
Obligatory "what are you doing, stepson?" here...
I'll see myself out
snowdrop@lemmy.ca · 10 pts · 302d
So predictable. Every freaking time.
Whostosay@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 302d
Imagine trying to come up with a name that isn't terrifying and normalizes sexually spying on your friends and family and you fucking come up with "Covenant Eyes."
fluffykittycat@slrpnk.net · 5 pts · 302d
This shit is creepy and abusive and we need to have No Reservations about setting that out loud
Whostosay@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 302d
But won't you just think of the children
TheBat@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 302d
fluffykittycat@slrpnk.net · 3 pts · 302d
Covenant es is for sexual abusing people so this shouldn't surprise us anymore
desmosthenes@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 292d
it’s just cover in the dead of night. not like it’s hard to get another device..