The idea that power dynamics are intrinsic to sex are not something I agree with. I think they can be, and often are, a part of sex, but not necessarily so.
It's cool that some people get off on power dynamics. And if some people think sex is intrinsically about that then it's not my job to persuade them otherwise.
But the best sex I've had is with people who just want it, who ask for what they want, who want to try new things, and who are agreeable to almost anything.
When that kind of energy is present between two (or more) people. My god.
It's one thing that took me a long time to articulate about why I didn't seem to vibe with most of the kinky people I'd met. To them kink was bdsm. The two terms were used almost interchangeably. Kinky sex to me is more or less the opposite of that. The absence of power dynamics and the presence of humble, adventurous, wild inhibition.
I mean, insofar that violence is power, yes, the person with someone's engorged penis filled with blood (the thing people need to live) between the sharpest and hardest parts of their body (teeth) armed with the strongest muscle (the masseter, the jaw muscle), does in fact have power over the other person owning the penis.
Power over life and death is very much "power" in my book, even if I don't agree with it.
I do agree that they must have trust, otherwise it wouldn't be smart to give that much power over you to someone else.
And when it comes to regular power dynamics, yeah sure it's annoying they exist in the first place, but you can't really deny them, even if they aren't always one and the same. Not all men would be able to beat up all women, but in general, men have an advantage in physical combat. But that advantage is very much given away at least a bit when you put your dick in someone's mouth.
Then again it could be a trans woman who owns the penis and a man doing the sucking, so like assumptions, power dynamics definitely aren't always the same.
So while I agree with you that they shouldn't be intrinsic, to most people they are.
Power dynamics are the product of complicated interactions between two or more people.
The ability to physically harm someone is only relevant if a) one chooses to believe someone will harm or then, or might or b) someone expresses that they will harm the other person, or might.
The ability of someone to commit violence is secondary, and dependent on either one or both of those factors to be relevant.
If one person does not believe they will be harmed and the other does not create that belief through threat of action then the ability to commit violence is utterly irrelevant.
The ability to physically harm someone is only relevant if a) one chooses to believe someone will harm or then, or might or b) someone expresses that they will harm the other person, or might.
That is to say, "a person you don't trust". Implicitly you trust everyone in your society, more or less. Or in your "city", if you will.
Just because you don't like something doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Even if a power dynamic is completely equal, it still exists. It's just balanced.
The ability to commit violence is at the very core of our civilization. Literally. There's a reason we still call them POLICE officers. They're the only people "in the city" ("polis" as in Akropolis, Annapolis, Marioupolis, etc) allowed to physically harm other people, and that is what makes them literally powerful.
Your reasoning only applies when you're already in the context of "we're not allowed to do violence or each other or the police will come and threaten me with violence unless I obey them".
Many probably never tried the Amazon position. It’s where the penetrator lies on their back with their knees on their chest. While the penetrated is on top, either standing on their knees, and controls the sex and makes thrusting motions. It’s like an inverted missionary position.
I find it amazing that some women like pegging. I can't imagine butt sex without one person feeling physical pleasure, and I say this as a gay man. Props to the women who are into it.
Funny thing is, video evidence clearly shows that vast majority of women don't really know how to jam the cock into anything, by the virtue of lacking both the experience and the anatomy (namely the internal parts supporting the dick). Resulting action often looks rather awkward.
If your karma is really bad the neighbors would invited you into a wife swap. But then after you fuck the other guys wife, the husband says he's BI and ass fucks you as the wives look on laughing
56 Comments
Ingiald@feddit.nl · 86 pts · 278d
The same could be accomplished by pretending but ok whatever you need to tell yourself I guess
Korne127@lemmy.world · 56 pts · 278d
Why would you do that
It would be fake and probably not convincing and you'd be missing out on the fun
cRazi_man@europe.pub · 19 pts · 278d
Or even just leaving a porn video at loud volume.
But hey, everyone's entitled to enjoy a good pegging. You don't need to wait to spite your neighbours to do this.
general_kitten@sopuli.xyz · 18 pts · 278d
but by pretending you wouldnt get to be pegged.
Mickey7@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 278d
I don't think you can really create the vocals without actually being penetrated
einlander@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 278d
Also it's easier to drop personalized messages on your own voice.
toofpic@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 278d
But he is not a poser!
Korhaka@sopuli.xyz · 4 pts · 278d
Don't judge.
bear_delune@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 277d
That sounds far less fun
Kenny2999@lemmy.world · 46 pts · 278d
Or to really pwn 'em, help the weary and burdened. They hate that.
ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 278d
Yes, volunteer at a homeless shelter on Saturdays and really show those fuckers not to cross you!!
Olgratin_Magmatoe@slrpnk.net · 39 pts · 278d
Should do it again just to be sure it worked.
Korhaka@sopuli.xyz · 19 pts · 278d
Yeah, plus a one off is kinda sus. Need to repeat it so he knows.
ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 278d
Make it a regular thing or he WILL eventually catch on. Just play it nice and safe, keep it going once or twice a week.
0x0@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 276d
That's an easy metric: as soon as the neighbor starts thinking about striking conversations again you know it's lube time.
Mickey7@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 278d
If once is good then why not multiple times
hOrni@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 276d
With a male friend.
krooklochurm@lemmy.ca · 38 pts · 278d
I've never understood how being penetrated is equated with being submissive.
It feels good. There's nothing inherently submissive about.
It CAN be a submissive act, like any sexual CAN be understood with power dynamics, but it isn't necessarily so.
Dasus@lemmy.world · 24 pts · 277d
I think this becomes even weirder if you consider a blowjob. The person with the dick in their mouth actually has all the power.
krooklochurm@lemmy.ca · 14 pts · 277d
They CAN have power.
What they actually have is trust.
The idea that power dynamics are intrinsic to sex are not something I agree with. I think they can be, and often are, a part of sex, but not necessarily so.
IMO anyway
BreakerSwitch@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 277d
Correct. Consent is so fucking hot. For so many reasons
krooklochurm@lemmy.ca · 8 pts · 277d
Agreed.
It's cool that some people get off on power dynamics. And if some people think sex is intrinsically about that then it's not my job to persuade them otherwise.
But the best sex I've had is with people who just want it, who ask for what they want, who want to try new things, and who are agreeable to almost anything.
When that kind of energy is present between two (or more) people. My god.
It's one thing that took me a long time to articulate about why I didn't seem to vibe with most of the kinky people I'd met. To them kink was bdsm. The two terms were used almost interchangeably. Kinky sex to me is more or less the opposite of that. The absence of power dynamics and the presence of humble, adventurous, wild inhibition.
Dasus@lemmy.world · -1 pts · 277d
I mean, insofar that violence is power, yes, the person with someone's engorged penis filled with blood (the thing people need to live) between the sharpest and hardest parts of their body (teeth) armed with the strongest muscle (the masseter, the jaw muscle), does in fact have power over the other person owning the penis.
Power over life and death is very much "power" in my book, even if I don't agree with it.
I do agree that they must have trust, otherwise it wouldn't be smart to give that much power over you to someone else.
And when it comes to regular power dynamics, yeah sure it's annoying they exist in the first place, but you can't really deny them, even if they aren't always one and the same. Not all men would be able to beat up all women, but in general, men have an advantage in physical combat. But that advantage is very much given away at least a bit when you put your dick in someone's mouth.
Then again it could be a trans woman who owns the penis and a man doing the sucking, so like assumptions, power dynamics definitely aren't always the same.
So while I agree with you that they shouldn't be intrinsic, to most people they are.
My sensibilities are more in line with Deadpool.
krooklochurm@lemmy.ca · 0 pts · 277d
Power dynamics are the product of complicated interactions between two or more people.
The ability to physically harm someone is only relevant if a) one chooses to believe someone will harm or then, or might or b) someone expresses that they will harm the other person, or might.
The ability of someone to commit violence is secondary, and dependent on either one or both of those factors to be relevant.
If one person does not believe they will be harmed and the other does not create that belief through threat of action then the ability to commit violence is utterly irrelevant.
Dasus@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 277d
That is to say, "a person you don't trust". Implicitly you trust everyone in your society, more or less. Or in your "city", if you will.
Just because you don't like something doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Even if a power dynamic is completely equal, it still exists. It's just balanced.
The ability to commit violence is at the very core of our civilization. Literally. There's a reason we still call them POLICE officers. They're the only people "in the city" ("polis" as in Akropolis, Annapolis, Marioupolis, etc) allowed to physically harm other people, and that is what makes them literally powerful.
Your reasoning only applies when you're already in the context of "we're not allowed to do violence or each other or the police will come and threaten me with violence unless I obey them".
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monopoly_on_violence
AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 276d
This is true for all variants of oral sex, really. It tends to happen near very fragile bits.
Dasus@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 276d
I mean, you're right, sure, but it's easier biting an outie than an innie.
Getting your chompers around someone's chocolate starfish would be a challenge, don't you think?
AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 276d
You probably don't want to have that theory tested. Just in case.
olafurp@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 277d
Ah, the power bottom.
SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 276d
Many probably never tried the Amazon position. It’s where the penetrator lies on their back with their knees on their chest. While the penetrated is on top, either standing on their knees, and controls the sex and makes thrusting motions. It’s like an inverted missionary position.
ouRKaoS@lemmy.today · 26 pts · 278d
Happy international women's day!
Bennyboybumberchums@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 277d
phoenixz@lemmy.ca · 21 pts · 278d
I let my wife do it but that's just because we both like it
Lemminary@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 277d
I find it amazing that some women like pegging. I can't imagine butt sex without one person feeling physical pleasure, and I say this as a gay man. Props to the women who are into it.
SlurpingPus@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 277d
Funny thing is, video evidence clearly shows that vast majority of women don't really know how to jam the cock into anything, by the virtue of lacking both the experience and the anatomy (namely the internal parts supporting the dick). Resulting action often looks rather awkward.
bhamlin@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 276d
Yeah, but the motions are easy to learn with practice. As a bonus, women get an understanding for how physically demanding thrusting is. 😏
pupbiru@aussie.zone · 1 pts · 277d
fisting is great too
phoenixz@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 274d
She likes it because if the idea, because of the show in front of her
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today · 12 pts · 278d
Invite them over for a little Saturday evening "Couples Date," and they'll move out.
ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 278d
Or you'll make new best friends. Win-win!
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today · 3 pts · 277d
Neighborly!
captainlezbian@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 277d
Based
macaw_dean_settle@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 277d
*Acided.
87Six@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 277d
I am not proud of laughing at this
Karl@literature.cafe · 1 pts · 276d
Wdym
HugeNerd@lemmy.ca · 9 pts · 277d
The "dominate" one.
Korne127@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 278d
That's amazing
melsaskca@lemmy.ca · 6 pts · 276d
The real story is that he never even had a neighbour.
daggermoon@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 277d
This sounds like a convoluted scheme I would definitely do.
Etterra@discuss.online · 5 pts · 277d
This is a master class in torturing the religiously obnoxious. Bravo.
IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 278d
that's a win win right there
Simulation6@sopuli.xyz · 5 pts · 276d
I would go for the whole satanic ritual cosplay and hope to scare them away.
Mickey7@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 278d
If your karma is really bad the neighbors would invited you into a wife swap. But then after you fuck the other guys wife, the husband says he's BI and ass fucks you as the wives look on laughing
Pelicanen@sopuli.xyz · 2 pts · 277d
...isn't that technically rape?
pimento64@sopuli.xyz · 2 pts · 278d
ok coomer
blackroses97@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 278d
Give this man an award 👏👏👏👏👏