Reasons to give your pets human names

240 points · 22 comments · view on lemmy.world

22 Comments

TheAlbatross@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 38 pts · 297d (6 replies)

Bf and I wanna get a dog and name her Grandma for similar reasons.

"Yeah, sorry I'm late, Grandma got a little too excited and made a mess in the kitchen"

"I can't do that, sorry, I'm taking Grandma to the vet"

Etc

Edit: I love seeing people adding their own in the comments and playing in the space. It really is a fun game. I'll bring it up when my partner is in a bad mood and it never fails to cheer him up.

Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca · 23 pts · 297d (2 replies)

“I have to get a new flea collar for grandma”

MutantTailThing@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 297d (1 reply)

I caught grandma drinking out of the toilet bowl again.

Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca · 17 pts · 297d

Grandma was licking her butthole while I was trying to watch TV.

SpicyTaint@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 297d
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simbico@lemmy.zip · 9 pts · 297d

Grandma got sick on the carpet again😠

jqubed@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 297d

I think my cousin and her then-husband named their dog Grandpa

Triumph@fedia.io · 10 pts · 297d

Uh oh, Roger has the zoomies.

chuckleslord@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 297d

Mesophar@pawb.social · 7 pts · 297d

Dennis likes to sleep on the bed with me, but my girlfriend is allergic and doesn't like him in the bedroom.

Sorry I can't come in earlier, I have to give Dennis insulin at set times and he tries to bite my roommate if they give it to him.

cassandrafatigue@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 7 pts · 297d

Alternatively, religious figures

Jesus hates it when i change my sheet

Bhudda thinks I should go on more walks.

Mohammed shits all over everything if I give him crackers. Never again.

Moses always stares at me like an idiot when I'm on the computer. We started giving him live food and he thinks he's smarter than me now.

Confucius said 'fuck you!' today. I'm so proud.

the_riviera_kid@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 297d (6 replies)

I have lots of pets with human names Dolly, Jim, Steve, Frank, Percy and so on. I love talking about them and never mentioning any detail about them being animals. People give me the strangest looks. "yeah Steve bit Jim on the ass again the other day." good stuff.

Hoimo@ani.social · 6 pts · 297d (2 replies)

Are they birds? Frank is such a bird name

the_riviera_kid@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 297d

Frank is a tarantula

Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 297d

Frank's best friend/son/roommate is well versed in avian legal issues at least

stray@pawb.social · 4 pts · 297d (2 replies)

I know someone with multiple daughters and that's a very plausible sentence for them. (None of the girls are named Steve or Jim though.)

the_riviera_kid@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 297d

The mental image of some gal biting her sister on the ass has me cackling like an idiot.

Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 297d

(None of the girls are named Steve or Jim though.)

Domoarigatomrrobato@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 297d

Matt is sick and shitting all over the floor

Gerudo@lemmy.zip · 5 pts · 297d

I have a friend who always talked about Michael. After 2 years of hearing about him, I asked her why doesn't she bring him around to meet us.

It was her fucking cat.

CobblerScholar@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 297d

Dogs shouldn't be eating raisins or grapes anyway, they're toxic to them and can cause kidney failure

TheGiantKorean@lemmy.today · 4 pts · 297d

Sorry, I can't make it out tonight. Eric threw up. Then ate it. Then threw it back up again.

Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 297d

"Sorry I'm late, Richard has been chewing on ny shoes again"