What's your favourite?

322 points · 26 comments · view on lemmy.world

26 Comments

wildbus8979@sh.itjust.works · 92 pts · 270d (7 replies)
TachyonTele@piefed.social · 37 pts · 270d (1 reply)

Yeah. Took the wind out of the Norris jokes.

BeMoreCareful@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 269d

It was like Obama's cookie, but horrible instead.

ElJefe@lemmy.ca · 18 pts · 270d

Yeah fuck these people. Little orangutan chimp looking mf

BetaBlake@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 270d

Oh yeah, this when we all realized Chuck Norris was kicked in the head too many times.

StrixUralensis@tarte.nuage-libre.fr · 8 pts · 270d

wtf

prettybunnys@piefed.social · 4 pts · 270d

Why do you think the crossroads got sundered?

Buddahriffic@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 269d

Lol is it just me or are his eyes comically small in that video? Makes his wife look like an anime girl in comparison.

Naich@lemmings.world · 49 pts · 270d (1 reply)

Chuck Norris doesn't deserve jokes about him because he's a right wing arsehole.

Bahnd@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 269d

Correct, but im rather nostalgic for these jokes as they were told to me during a simpler time, one when the internet was more LOLCAT memes and less enshitified.

FilthyShrooms@lemmy.world · 30 pts · 269d (1 reply)

There was a community on reddit called cropped Norris memes where they cropped out the punchlines, so all the posts were along the lines of "Chuck Norris doesn't use the bathroom" and that's it

Those were my favorite

nailbar@sopuli.xyz · 5 pts · 269d

These are now my favorite Chuck Norris memes too!

Kolanaki@pawb.social · 18 pts · 270d (1 reply)

Chuck Norris does not have a chin. Under his beard is just anothet fist.

I remember for a time, there was a small effort to change to Vin Diesel. And that was before it was well known how shitty of a person Norris truly is. Kinda sad the switch to Vin Diesel didn't stick.

Buddahriffic@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 269d

I first heard the jokes as Vin Diesel jokes and always did think he was cooler than Chuck Norris. Like was I the only one completely not surprised that Walker, Texas Ranger turned out to be exactly what I expected him to be like?

aeternum@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 17 pts · 269d (1 reply)
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Branch_Ranch@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 269d

Yes. He's a hardcore Christian Bible thumper. Like, over the top. Fuck that guy.

Venat0r@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 270d (1 reply)

Chuck Norris jokes aren't about Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris is about Chuck Norris jokes.

Vengefu1Tuna@lemmy.zip · 5 pts · 269d

This is actually true. I went to an expensive Christian private school (it was awful) where I became friends with his granddaughter. According to her, he thought Chuck Norris jokes were hilarious. One time, he even showed up for grandparents' day and he handed out little baseball card-like signed pictures of himself. He was also much shorter than I expected.

DudeImMacGyver@kbin.earth · 12 pts · 269d

Fuck that guy.

PattyMcB@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 270d

A venomous snake once bit Chuck Norris. After several agonizing days, the snake finally died.

NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone · 6 pts · 270d

In Soviet Russia Norris chuck you.

PattyMcB@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 270d

Chuck Norris's tears can miraculously cure cancer. It's a shame though, because he's never cried.

jonesey71@lemmus.org · 4 pts · 269d

Chuck Norris drove his mother home from the hospital after she gave birth to him.

wuphysics87@lemmy.ml · 3 pts · 268d

Bruce Lee kicked the shit out if that removed

halvar@lemy.lol · 3 pts · 270d

Chuck Norris' sorcery was so powerful it's meta properties got transfered onto the jokes themselves making him normal again and the jokes able to play Pokemon GO on a landline.

Hexagon@feddit.it · 2 pts · 269d

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.

After Chuck Norris visited them, the Virgin Islands are known as just Islands.

Epp2@lemmynsfw.com · 1 pts · 270d

If you can see Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris can kill you.