Of course I have a praise kink, I was a bright child who built my entire identity around the approval I got from others. I wasn't ignored — far from it, but the manner of attention really did a number on me
Childhood trauma based kinks are for the weak-minded; the best kinks are an ever-changing landscape informed by one's intellectual and social frontiers
I grew up like that. My mom never understood me and was constantly baffled by my (clearly autistic/ADHD) habits. Add in getting in trouble in school for those same habits and constantly having to explain myself, and it’s a difficult reflex to break as an adult.
Finding someone on your wavelength, who knows why you said/did what you said/did without needing to explain it, is an incredible feeling. I surround myself with others in my “neurotribe” and it goes far to helping in that regard. I don’t have to explain my thought processes to my GF (though I still do sometimes.) And likewise, sometimes I can stop her from over-explaining, and let her save her energy, because “I get it.”
I hope you’ll be able to find such like-minded people someday, if you haven’t already. It’s not a “kink” per se, but boy does it help you feel “normal” in a world that’s so quick to judge.
oooooh i see,,.. yessssyesyesyes i totally understans that.... askin for things is hard....,.,..... especially when it comes to adult things (i feel)..,... mhm mhm - ,,... jus umm......hmmm.... iguess now i gotta look up what a praise kink actually looks like - (i can..... imagine but mayb my imagination is wrong!!)
That’s not the worst scenario, provided that your partner is the same way. One of the best habits I’ve picked up from work is “behavior-specific praising.” So here we go:
I love how you do your best to take care of others! The way you shower compliments onto people is really sweet, and I bet it makes your partner(s) feel amazing. It sounds like you’ve formed a positive habit that brings more joy into the world, and that is a beautiful thing. Keep it up! 🌸
25 Comments
panda_abyss@lemmy.ca · 41 pts · 277d
There are literally no pictures of me as a child except the ones from my grandmother’s scrapbooks, which were mostly whole family photos.
gandalf_der_12te@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 10 pts · 277d
i wish there were no photos of me as a child either
panda_abyss@lemmy.ca · 11 pts · 277d
It goes well with not remembering almost all of my childhood.
Bluegrass_Addict@lemmy.ca · 22 pts · 277d
amusing, I still get ignored as an adult. if it wasn't for work, I'd have zero human contact.
AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net · 17 pts · 276d
Of course I have a praise kink, I was a bright child who built my entire identity around the approval I got from others. I wasn't ignored — far from it, but the manner of attention really did a number on me
EldritchFeminity@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 8 pts · 276d
Ah yes, the "gifted kid to burnout (trans girl) with a praise kink" pipeline I keep hearing about.
AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net · 2 pts · 269d
Yeah, this kind of shit is part of why I feel such strong solidarity with trans women, despite being cis.
AFaithfulNihilist@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 276d
I was told I was a bright kid, ignored and only complimented as criticism so I deeply mistust compliments.
mfed1122@discuss.tchncs.de · 16 pts · 277d
Childhood trauma based kinks are for the weak-minded; the best kinks are an ever-changing landscape informed by one's intellectual and social frontiers
Kazumara@discuss.tchncs.de · 7 pts · 276d
This feels like an advanced form of kink shaming, or maybe kink shaming on a meta level 😄
mfed1122@discuss.tchncs.de · 2 pts · 276d
I prefer to think of it as constructive kink criticism
Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 276d
Ah, so that’s why I like sex in public places so much. I’m not a deviant - I’m expanding my frontiers!
Aqarius@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 276d
And everybody else's!
cassandrafatigue@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 276d
Seriously.
Kowowow@lemmy.ca · 9 pts · 277d
Huh I wonder what being overly questioned would lead to then
Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 276d
I grew up like that. My mom never understood me and was constantly baffled by my (clearly autistic/ADHD) habits. Add in getting in trouble in school for those same habits and constantly having to explain myself, and it’s a difficult reflex to break as an adult.
Finding someone on your wavelength, who knows why you said/did what you said/did without needing to explain it, is an incredible feeling. I surround myself with others in my “neurotribe” and it goes far to helping in that regard. I don’t have to explain my thought processes to my GF (though I still do sometimes.) And likewise, sometimes I can stop her from over-explaining, and let her save her energy, because “I get it.”
I hope you’ll be able to find such like-minded people someday, if you haven’t already. It’s not a “kink” per se, but boy does it help you feel “normal” in a world that’s so quick to judge.
Kowowow@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 276d
Nah I've never found anyone but as an adult I don't get questioned about what I'm doing nearly as much
ChrysanthemumIndica@discuss.tchncs.de · 4 pts · 277d
Perhaps a kink for someone ignoring you/bored of you?
ElcaineVolta@kbin.melroy.org · 6 pts · 277d
excellent post, way to go!!
Smorty@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 5 pts · 277d
soooooo like -----..... is it juuuuuuuuuuuust the praise kink ----- like - jussssst that?--------
(u dont have to answer.,. im jus bein sili vout a thing im preddi sure u r not into - or dun kno what im talkin bout-)
erotador@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 8 pts · 277d
i have a major praise kink, but an inability to ask for anything and a predisposition to take care of people so normally i end up the one praising.
Smorty@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 4 pts · 277d
oooooh i see,,.. yessssyesyesyes i totally understans that.... askin for things is hard....,.,..... especially when it comes to adult things (i feel)..,... mhm mhm - ,,... jus umm......hmmm.... iguess now i gotta look up what a praise kink actually looks like - (i can..... imagine but mayb my imagination is wrong!!)
Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 276d
That’s not the worst scenario, provided that your partner is the same way. One of the best habits I’ve picked up from work is “behavior-specific praising.” So here we go:
I love how you do your best to take care of others! The way you shower compliments onto people is really sweet, and I bet it makes your partner(s) feel amazing. It sounds like you’ve formed a positive habit that brings more joy into the world, and that is a beautiful thing. Keep it up! 🌸
Noodle07@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 277d
I was always disappointing as a kid because of undiagnosed ADHD, now that I take meds I do everything to be called good
cupcakezealot@piefed.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 269d
did you mean: sam winchester