This is fantastic. Amusing, cute, educational, and it’s something that mod-bots (which lack the ability to understand context) on other sites would probably report for “promoting violence.”
No, the nipple-rubbing was for cable companies (and was more fantastic satire.) The BP CEO included the guy lying naked on a rug in front of a fire place.
One of my most vivid early memories involves the Stretch Armstrong dog, which according to the internet was named Fetch Armstrong. The year this particular toy came out was 1993, and I was four years old. I like to share this story as a way to help adults remember what little kids' trains of thoughts are like - magical thinking rules when you don't have a logical understanding of how the world works yet.
It was my older brother's birthday party and he got the Fetch Armstrong as a gift. I'm one of the youngest in my generation in my family. My older brothers and (male) cousins did what rowdy young boys do and pulled this thing to its limits.
Eventually they got bored of it and moved on, which meant I finally got a chance to play with it. Thing is, they'd already broken it. I didn't know until I touched it, but part of it was torn and the liquid from inside it leaked out onto my hands.
And I. flipped. the. fuck. out.
In my little kid brain, I thought the liquid would make my hands as stretchy at the toy. I immediately pictured my brothers and cousins pulling my hands, twisting my fingers, abusing the newfound stretching abilities in my hands until they snapped, just as they did with the toy. I was absolutely terrified and couldn't stop crying.
The adults around me didn't have a clue what I was upset about. They thought I was sad because the toy was broken, and tried to console me with stuff like, "It's just a toy, we can get a new one." But I didn't have the ability to coherently explain what I thought was going to happen to me, being a little kid with a limited ability to explain my thoughts. So they all thought I was overreacting while I was in a full-blown panic.
Only after time passed, I'd washed my hands, and I saw that they didn't become stretchy, was I finally able to calm down. To this day, I think about this event whenever a little kid seems to be "upset over nothing." We don't know what they're picturing in their heads. We don't know what magical thinking they're going through to make the mundane seem terrifying. They could be imagining a vivid nightmare scenario that they can't explain, and that we're too stuck in "adult brain" to even fathom.
Anyway, that's my Stretch Armstrong story. Thank you for your time.
My parents got one of these for their old house, for a brief time when my grandma was living with them.
10/10 recommended. You can sit and let the hot water wash over you, or take a few minutes after a regular shower to enjoy the steam and warmth on a cold winter day.
Just make sure to move it around (and, obviously, clean it) periodically so the bottom of it doesn't end up making scum/mold spots on the shower floor.
Your parents remember stuff? Every time I bring up an old story from when I was younger, my mom has no recollection of it whatsoever. She doesn't even remember what my first word was. Even if I went to her and admitted everything bad I'd ever done as a kid, she'd have no idea what I'm even talking about.
All we needed to know is that the twin towers were built using asbestos. It was standard in construction materials at the time they were erected.
I was a preteen living near (but not in) NYC on 9/11/01. I remember the fine layer of dust that covered everything for days after.
You know how your car gets covered in pollen every spring? It was like that every morning, except instead of yellow pollen, it was white/gray mystery ash.
Now I'm wondering if this is something I should mention to a medical professional.
I saw this play out with the family that used to live across the street from us. In the 90s, helicopter parenting was a new, shameful thing - and this family was all-in on it. There was only one house between theirs and the bus stop on the corner, yet the mom would drive her kids there and have them sit in the car with her instead of standing outside like the rest of us.
They never took walks or rode bikes around the neighborhood. They never went to the playground alone, even though it was literally at the end of our street.
My family had much more freedom - one of my older brothers was so comfortable with his surroundings that he even drew a map of our neighborhood from memory. I remember using that map when I first started riding my bike alone. We developed strong senses of direction that continue to benefit us today.
Anyway, one day the oldest kid was playing with my brothers. As a group, they decided to go to the playground. When it was time to go home, my brothers decided to take the long way around the block (instead of the straight way down our street.) They were almost home, only maybe 500 feet (about 150 meters) from the same bus stop corner I mentioned earlier, when this kid started flipping out, bawling his eyes out that they "were lost." The kid was so sheltered, he couldn't recognize the bus stop he'd been waiting at every school day for years by that point, just because they approached it from a different direction.
Nowadays, that kid's an adult who only ever leaves home for work. He's around 35 years old, and both him and his younger brother still live with their parents and isolate themselves. Ever since Covid, they do Halloween by setting up a candy chute through a window on their door so they don't have to open it and interact with anyone. It made sense in 2020, now it's just another way for them to avoid interacting with the rest of the world.
I wish I could say I was surprised, but really I'm just sad for them.
Middle and high school are full of stupid misconceptions about girls. In my middle school, people believed that if you wore black panties, it meant you're DTF. The boys also thought that if a girl's nipples were hard, it meant she was turned on. No amount of saying, "Bruh, it's just winter," or asking why boys' nipples don't get hard when they're horny, would change their minds.
It all really boils down to - some boys will grasp at anything to confirm their belief that a girl is interested in sex.
Nobody said "blossom" but you, so it's weird you keep saying it in quotation marks as if it's something OP said. Imagine for a moment that women are people, not sex objects, and re-read what she said. Consider how much emotional and mental growth people go through in their 20s and beyond. We don't know what OP was like as a young 20-something nor what she went through in life since then, but there are so many ways people can change and grow into themselves, to become proud of the adult they've become.
Just because she said "woman" instead of "adult" doesn't mean there's any sexual intent, and it's frankly fucked up that simply indicating her gender is enough to put your mind into the gutter.
I read through all the comments hoping someone would explain the rubber duck part. Your comment’s at the bottom of the page, and yet it’s the first one I’ve seen to question it.
Does anyone know what the rubber duck is supposed to add? Inquiring minds want to know!
Huh, the shine of the anti-reflective coating on her glasses lines up perfectly with her irises, both in location and color. It does almost look like it's coming from her eyes.
Depends. How are you eating? Are you meticulously separating your food and eating it in a particular order? Do you break apart your tator tots into tiny bits, or do you pull the chocolate chips out of your muffins to eat them separately? Maybe you eat all the green veggie straws, then all the yellows, then all the orange ones, never deviating from that pattern?
It’s fascinating looking around the lunch room in a school for autistic children.
I can’t imagine not masking at work. It’s so ingrained that I don’t know what “not masking” in a professional setting would even look like. When I’m alone I don’t mask, obviously, but when I’m alone I’m also not talking to anyone. So there’s no facial expression or tone of voice to monitor.
I’ve had way, way too many bad experiences related to not masking. Too much punishment, too many baseless accusations, too many authority figures confusing flat tones of voice with “sarcasm” or “rudeness.” The idea of not masking in a professional setting is as scary as showing up to work naked.
It’s cool that some people are finding ways to reduce masking, but I can’t fathom what I could do instead. From what I’ve experienced, the world still isn’t ready for full autism acceptance.
This is fantastic. Amusing, cute, educational, and it’s something that mod-bots (which lack the ability to understand context) on other sites would probably report for “promoting violence.”
In other words, it’s perfect.
How I imagine you doing this -
No, the nipple-rubbing was for cable companies (and was more fantastic satire.) The BP CEO included the guy lying naked on a rug in front of a fire place.
One of my most vivid early memories involves the Stretch Armstrong dog, which according to the internet was named Fetch Armstrong. The year this particular toy came out was 1993, and I was four years old. I like to share this story as a way to help adults remember what little kids' trains of thoughts are like - magical thinking rules when you don't have a logical understanding of how the world works yet.
It was my older brother's birthday party and he got the Fetch Armstrong as a gift. I'm one of the youngest in my generation in my family. My older brothers and (male) cousins did what rowdy young boys do and pulled this thing to its limits.
Eventually they got bored of it and moved on, which meant I finally got a chance to play with it. Thing is, they'd already broken it. I didn't know until I touched it, but part of it was torn and the liquid from inside it leaked out onto my hands.
And I. flipped. the. fuck. out.
In my little kid brain, I thought the liquid would make my hands as stretchy at the toy. I immediately pictured my brothers and cousins pulling my hands, twisting my fingers, abusing the newfound stretching abilities in my hands until they snapped, just as they did with the toy. I was absolutely terrified and couldn't stop crying.
The adults around me didn't have a clue what I was upset about. They thought I was sad because the toy was broken, and tried to console me with stuff like, "It's just a toy, we can get a new one." But I didn't have the ability to coherently explain what I thought was going to happen to me, being a little kid with a limited ability to explain my thoughts. So they all thought I was overreacting while I was in a full-blown panic.
Only after time passed, I'd washed my hands, and I saw that they didn't become stretchy, was I finally able to calm down. To this day, I think about this event whenever a little kid seems to be "upset over nothing." We don't know what they're picturing in their heads. We don't know what magical thinking they're going through to make the mundane seem terrifying. They could be imagining a vivid nightmare scenario that they can't explain, and that we're too stuck in "adult brain" to even fathom.
Anyway, that's my Stretch Armstrong story. Thank you for your time.
As a Pole, I find this offensive. We're more than just potato munchers.
We're also potato drinkers.
My parents got one of these for their old house, for a brief time when my grandma was living with them.
10/10 recommended. You can sit and let the hot water wash over you, or take a few minutes after a regular shower to enjoy the steam and warmth on a cold winter day.
Just make sure to move it around (and, obviously, clean it) periodically so the bottom of it doesn't end up making scum/mold spots on the shower floor.
Your parents remember stuff? Every time I bring up an old story from when I was younger, my mom has no recollection of it whatsoever. She doesn't even remember what my first word was. Even if I went to her and admitted everything bad I'd ever done as a kid, she'd have no idea what I'm even talking about.
Could you share your knowledge here? I clicked this thread expecting to find instructions to help us follow your advice.
All we needed to know is that the twin towers were built using asbestos. It was standard in construction materials at the time they were erected.
I was a preteen living near (but not in) NYC on 9/11/01. I remember the fine layer of dust that covered everything for days after.
You know how your car gets covered in pollen every spring? It was like that every morning, except instead of yellow pollen, it was white/gray mystery ash.
Now I'm wondering if this is something I should mention to a medical professional.
Similarly, legalizing gay marriage was supposed to usher in waves of people wanting to marry animals or something.
I saw this play out with the family that used to live across the street from us. In the 90s, helicopter parenting was a new, shameful thing - and this family was all-in on it. There was only one house between theirs and the bus stop on the corner, yet the mom would drive her kids there and have them sit in the car with her instead of standing outside like the rest of us.
They never took walks or rode bikes around the neighborhood. They never went to the playground alone, even though it was literally at the end of our street.
My family had much more freedom - one of my older brothers was so comfortable with his surroundings that he even drew a map of our neighborhood from memory. I remember using that map when I first started riding my bike alone. We developed strong senses of direction that continue to benefit us today.
Anyway, one day the oldest kid was playing with my brothers. As a group, they decided to go to the playground. When it was time to go home, my brothers decided to take the long way around the block (instead of the straight way down our street.) They were almost home, only maybe 500 feet (about 150 meters) from the same bus stop corner I mentioned earlier, when this kid started flipping out, bawling his eyes out that they "were lost." The kid was so sheltered, he couldn't recognize the bus stop he'd been waiting at every school day for years by that point, just because they approached it from a different direction.
Nowadays, that kid's an adult who only ever leaves home for work. He's around 35 years old, and both him and his younger brother still live with their parents and isolate themselves. Ever since Covid, they do Halloween by setting up a candy chute through a window on their door so they don't have to open it and interact with anyone. It made sense in 2020, now it's just another way for them to avoid interacting with the rest of the world.
I wish I could say I was surprised, but really I'm just sad for them.
Middle and high school are full of stupid misconceptions about girls. In my middle school, people believed that if you wore black panties, it meant you're DTF. The boys also thought that if a girl's nipples were hard, it meant she was turned on. No amount of saying, "Bruh, it's just winter," or asking why boys' nipples don't get hard when they're horny, would change their minds.
It all really boils down to - some boys will grasp at anything to confirm their belief that a girl is interested in sex.
I'll be thinking of this story next time a company claims that, "We're a family here."
Nobody said "blossom" but you, so it's weird you keep saying it in quotation marks as if it's something OP said. Imagine for a moment that women are people, not sex objects, and re-read what she said. Consider how much emotional and mental growth people go through in their 20s and beyond. We don't know what OP was like as a young 20-something nor what she went through in life since then, but there are so many ways people can change and grow into themselves, to become proud of the adult they've become.
Just because she said "woman" instead of "adult" doesn't mean there's any sexual intent, and it's frankly fucked up that simply indicating her gender is enough to put your mind into the gutter.
Those darn British accents did it again!
That’s like asking why so many anime women have massive titties. Fan service, obvs.
How many times have you seen a commenter on here say, “Fuck Reddit”? OP’s just giving the viewers what they want.
I read through all the comments hoping someone would explain the rubber duck part. Your comment’s at the bottom of the page, and yet it’s the first one I’ve seen to question it.
Does anyone know what the rubber duck is supposed to add? Inquiring minds want to know!
Huh, the shine of the anti-reflective coating on her glasses lines up perfectly with her irises, both in location and color. It does almost look like it's coming from her eyes.
Depends. How are you eating? Are you meticulously separating your food and eating it in a particular order? Do you break apart your tator tots into tiny bits, or do you pull the chocolate chips out of your muffins to eat them separately? Maybe you eat all the green veggie straws, then all the yellows, then all the orange ones, never deviating from that pattern?
It’s fascinating looking around the lunch room in a school for autistic children.
I can’t imagine not masking at work. It’s so ingrained that I don’t know what “not masking” in a professional setting would even look like. When I’m alone I don’t mask, obviously, but when I’m alone I’m also not talking to anyone. So there’s no facial expression or tone of voice to monitor.
I’ve had way, way too many bad experiences related to not masking. Too much punishment, too many baseless accusations, too many authority figures confusing flat tones of voice with “sarcasm” or “rudeness.” The idea of not masking in a professional setting is as scary as showing up to work naked.
It’s cool that some people are finding ways to reduce masking, but I can’t fathom what I could do instead. From what I’ve experienced, the world still isn’t ready for full autism acceptance.