Ancient rule

vibrators are WRONG and unnatural the bible said adam and eve not Florence and the machine

604 points · 47 comments · view on lemmy.world

47 Comments

pringus@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 104 pts · 251d (12 replies)

florence and the machine sounds like a great band name

brap@lemmy.world · 75 pts · 251d (4 replies)

Florence and the machine is a great band name. You should look them up 🙂

pringus@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 75 pts · 251d (2 replies)

this is my "google en passant", holy hell

FordBeeblebrox@lemmy.world · 28 pts · 250d

You are really one of today’s Lucky 10,000. She’s a hell of a singer and you’ve quite likely heard some of their music in films or shows and not known.

wander1236@sh.itjust.works · 12 pts · 250d

This is truly incredible

captainlezbian@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 249d

It's more than just a good name, its also a good band

Erasmus@lemmy.world · 37 pts · 251d (5 replies)
[ removed ]
pringus@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 32 pts · 250d (3 replies)

not joking, just had hyper-conservative parents, so most music from the early to mid 00's is new

will definitely check it out, thanks

Voroxpete@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 250d

Wait, did I just get to witness a today's lucky 10,000 moment?

Yeah, they're pretty great. My brother saw them live. Personally I think Ceremonials is a better starting point than Lungs. I'd say dip into both and see if either of them grab you.

fibojoly@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 250d

Oh mate, that's adorable! I hope you have fun! And just in case Rage Against The Machine is also an amazing band. You probably should give them a listen, if only for your education!

captainlezbian@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 249d

Oh shit you're in for a treat. Their music is amazing.

red_bull_of_juarez@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 250d

That song is great, but my favorite is Queen of Peace.

IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 250d

they should do rage against the machine covers

Icytrees@sh.itjust.works · 52 pts · 250d (8 replies)

It's not Adam and Eve, it's Eve and the Ten Speed 14" Sly Serpent Girthmaster XL with Harness

germanatlas@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 34 pts · 250d (2 replies)

The only search result for this vibrator name is this post. Congrats on coming up with a completely new arrangements of words

Icytrees@sh.itjust.works · 17 pts · 250d (1 reply)

Would you believe I spent ten minutes looking for a relevant snake dildo before giving up? There's a gap in the market just waiting to be filled.

FluorineBalloon@programming.dev · 2 pts · 250d

That last sentence could be it's marketing tagline!

LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works · 10 pts · 250d (2 replies)

I believe in gender equality. Adam can get a Cocksqueezer 9000 Pro Ultra Max Leet Pro.

irelephant@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 11 pts · 250d

He can use the girthmaster as well.

djsoren19@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 249d

It has a harness, Eve can use it on him

DagwoodIII@piefed.social · 8 pts · 250d

Oddly specific

katja@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 250d

Ohh. I want one too.

lauha@lemmy.world · 29 pts · 251d (6 replies)

Tell that to all the churches playing organs. Are organs biblical? Definitely not.

Valmond@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 250d (2 replies)

Churches fighting about who's got the biggest organ.

zedgeist@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 250d (1 reply)

They like putting big organs in their temples 😏

Klear@quokk.au · 5 pts · 250d

*taps temple*

Klear@quokk.au · 5 pts · 250d (1 reply)

They're organic tho

lauha@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 250d

Does Bible talk about organic food? Definitely not.

isVeryLoud@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 250d

Oh yeah, I "play the organ"

KawaiiBitch@lemmy.world · 24 pts · 250d (2 replies)

burntbacon@discuss.tchncs.de · 3 pts · 250d (1 reply)

I mean, it feels good... It's just not sexual. I think when I sit around at the computer idly going, it's akin to kids who are young, like beginning around 3-6, that you'll see doing similar things. Freud (who had really great observations, really shitty explanations of them) even had an entire stage for it. It's not because they're imagining carnal relations with others or all the emotional attachments of a (sometimes nascent) relationship leading to lust that builds into a desire to violently make with the genital friction.

87Six@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 250d

I mean, it feels good… It’s just not sexual.

I feel like I've been lobomized

baggachipz@sh.itjust.works · 24 pts · 250d (1 reply)

The Bible says Adam and Eve, which is the store to get vibrators at. Checkmate christians

QuinnyCoded@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 250d

on god

germanatlas@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 19 pts · 250d (3 replies)

Becky has a rage against the machine

QuinnyCoded@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 250d

implying that rage against the machine includes vibrators reminds me of 'acab includes Judy Hopps'

jlow@discuss.tchncs.de · 4 pts · 250d

Hate against the wrong machine, though. Vibrator = good machine, capitalism = bad machine.

Armpitbagette@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 250d

Becky is no fun in bed. She probably only has missionary on the first Saturday of the month between 9 and 11 pm. If you miss the window, its your fucking problem man, just wait another month.

Doomsider@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 251d (5 replies)

Vibrators are natural as they exist in our world. Unnatural would be like a ghost or something that is not of this world.

On top of that the Bible says absolutely nothing about vibrators.

IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 250d (3 replies)

didn't Egypcians fill gourds with angry bees to wank?

that's a natural vibe

deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz · 3 pts · 250d (1 reply)

How did they separate the angry bees from the merely ill tempered bees?

I'm not saying it was aliens. But it was aliens.

IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 250d

I think they put the angry afterwards.

although imagine if someone accidentally used a queen bee.

QuinnyCoded@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 250d

the cum coconut 2700BC edition

deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz · 3 pts · 250d

It's either all God's plan or none of it is.

Therefore, by their own logic, vibratory masturbation is holy.

MyPornViewingAccount@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 251d

Yea but florence is a great artist smh

froufox@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 249d

hot take: vibrators are ok, genocide is unnatural and sacrilegious

EchoCranium@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 249d

Have you seen that lady perform? Florence has boundless energy, dancing around the stage the whole performance. She probably needs her machine, no normal man is gonna have the stamina to keep up with that!

PixelPilgrim@lemmings.world · 1 pts · 249d

Adann and Eve didn't even eat