I think its more referencing the dads who are entirely uninvolved untrained the their kids lives whatsoever to the point they don't even participate in any Christmas planning or prep for the family.
My wife did basically all the shopping and wrapping.
But i drove across the state christmas eve to pick up the kitten and hid it for hours. And built all the things that needed to be assembled. I was up til about one while she was in bed by 9. Then the stuff that wasnt from santa was built today.
Each parent doesnt need to be involved in everything to still be involved.
My wife did the shopping for some of the bigger ticket stuff, I did the stocking stuff (which included some fun toys), I did most of the wrapping but it probably would've been more even split if she didn't have a chronic disease sapping her energy.
I did basically all the gift shopping this year and set up all the Santa stuff with the help of one of my older kids as my wife was knackered yesterday.
Other years my wife has done the bulk of the shopping and we usually do the setup together. There's no structure to who does the shopping I suppose, it's more whoever has the time or energy any given year.
My brother goes with my sil to do the shopping and goes out of his way to find the things he knows my nieces love. This year was frozen and kpop deamon hunters
My wife is unemployed and loves doing gift stuff including wrapping. Even constantly asking if I want them to wrap their gifts for themself lol. I think some folks just see this without having loved it and assume it's bad. The reality is couples split their chores. My wife doesn't help me with yard work, even while unemployed, does it make them a deadbeat? No. That's just not how we split the chores.
Dad worked. One day in the lean years he was on the books for 5 employers at the same time: no overlapping shifts, just a hairy schedule on a paper calendar and more than one job-to-job commute.
We do not castigate dad for devoting his entire life to the household.
Mom, who merely had one full-timer, did the shopping and wrapping on the side. The two of them set up a wonderful Christmas day together with very few gifts and resources, and we were all together on Christmas morn before Dad went to work.
My wife enjoys Christmas shopping, wrapping and decorating. I do not. I am happy to offer opinions and thoughts when she asks for them. I am happy to cook, clean, work and entertain. It works and honestly, if I forget what's under the tree it feels like a vicarious adventure for me. I see no reason to believe that there's anything wrong with making Christmas work.
When my son stopped believing in Santa dad was able to convince him that HE still believed in Santa. Keeping the traditions alive for a couple more years
My dad earned the money, my mom spent it. That worked for them, there were no complaints.
OTH, they were born during the Great Depression, and were both very frugal. Neither of them liked to spend money. As the fourth of four kids, most of my clothes and toys were hand-me-downs, and my mom made my clothes until I hit puberty, as well as making most of her own clothes her whole life. I don't have any complaints either. Both of my parents loved their kids unconditionally, I grew up in a warm, and mostly happy family.
I buy throughout the year whenever I see something I know they will like. By Christmas, I forget what I've bought and wrapped.
This year, I asked my girlfriend if she will want something and tell her I'll hold onto it until Christmas. Buy it with her, and then by the time she gets it, she's forgotten. I did that with a bracelet that said "Mom" on it during the summer, that I would put her daughters name as the from so that she gets something from her daughter. I always try to buy something to be "from" her daughter. It is really nice for her daughter too, to have that experience "giving" something on Christmas too.
I sat with her daughter the other night making bracelets for her to give out at our family Christmas party and the first one we made was for her to give to her biological Dad when she goes with him in a few days.
Yeah, she likes it, of course. My idea of Christmas shopping is watching the Aisle of Shame in Aldi, and when I see something interesting, I buy a few for gifts. If you need stockings stuffed, I'm your guy.
I bought gloves, socks, underwear, toys, all kinds of stuff. I always buy up a bunch of their greeting cards, whenever they have them. Cards that would be $10 anywhere else, are like $1.50.
My wife did all the shopping but I drove to 4 different pet stores across the county hunting for guinea pigs on Xmas eve, got two, hid them at my office in their little temp set up, then went back at midnight and brought them home.
Wife's idea but damn did I make that shit happen lol.
She's the best tho, I got her a knock off roomba to try to make her life easier. Hope it works well. Kids are stoked on the piggies.
Uhh I'm the one that fills the stockings so I get to act surprised by the shit I put in there 3 hours prior. Would be neat if someone else ever put something in mine, but not happened yet.
What’s the point of being married/having kids with someone if they’re useless? They didn’t buy anyone presents, they didn’t get the house prepared for the holiday, they didn’t cook the meal.
63 Comments
squirrel@piefed.kobel.fyi · 86 pts · 236d
Are dads still like that? The young dads I know are pretty involved in their children's lives
douglasg14b@lemmy.world · 60 pts · 235d
My wife went out Christmas shopping while I took my toddler to go play in the snow.
Separating responsibilities is functional, I don't understand the negatives here.
HazardousBanjo@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 235d
I think its more referencing the dads who are entirely uninvolved untrained the their kids lives whatsoever to the point they don't even participate in any Christmas planning or prep for the family.
Not your specific situation.
Blue_Morpho@lemmy.world · 20 pts · 236d
All dads I know including myself are the opposite. They do all the shopping and wrapping.
ThePantser@sh.itjust.works · 37 pts · 236d
Yep, dad here, can confirm and get tired of these tired old jokes. Such a boomer joke
kn0wmad1c@programming.dev · 12 pts · 235d
I wrapped for two different families, including mine, this year. My wife works super hard, and this is something I can do to help.
shalafi@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 235d
I am in this exact situation. Very little idea what's under the tree.
Sc00ter@lemmy.zip · 6 pts · 235d
My wife did basically all the shopping and wrapping.
But i drove across the state christmas eve to pick up the kitten and hid it for hours. And built all the things that needed to be assembled. I was up til about one while she was in bed by 9. Then the stuff that wasnt from santa was built today.
Each parent doesnt need to be involved in everything to still be involved.
prettybunnys@piefed.social · 3 pts · 235d
Sounds like pure hell ;)
metallic_z3r0@infosec.pub · 4 pts · 235d
My wife did the shopping for some of the bigger ticket stuff, I did the stocking stuff (which included some fun toys), I did most of the wrapping but it probably would've been more even split if she didn't have a chronic disease sapping her energy.
VitoRobles@lemmy.today · 17 pts · 235d
I feel like people assume parenting is everyone doing everything.
As a dad, I cook and clean. I wash dishes. I organize.
My wife wash clothes, fixes things around the house, and shops for goods.
So yeah, she buys all the presents, because she loves doing it. I'm making Christmas breakfast and dinner, because that's my thing. We can do both.
khannie@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 235d
I did basically all the gift shopping this year and set up all the Santa stuff with the help of one of my older kids as my wife was knackered yesterday.
Other years my wife has done the bulk of the shopping and we usually do the setup together. There's no structure to who does the shopping I suppose, it's more whoever has the time or energy any given year.
prettybunnys@piefed.social · 11 pts · 235d
LadyButterfly has been hurt and does not like men.
LadyButterfly@piefed.blahaj.zone · -6 pts · 235d
I love men! In many ways I prefer them because I find them more straight forwards than women. Of the 3 people I trust the most, 2 of them are men.
Blue_Morpho@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 235d
This other post of yours was on the front page today:
https://reddthat.com/post/56830819
CallMeAnAI@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 235d
I can't tell if she's being sarcastic. That could be some, "I have a black friend" reference.
MITM0@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 235d
Oh righty this, yeah the "Emotional labour" BS. She's actually a pretty popular man-hater
prettybunnys@piefed.social · 3 pts · 235d
You make it so obvious how much you love them.
prettybunnys@piefed.social · 11 pts · 235d
Some people are like that.
sparkles@piefed.zip · 10 pts · 236d
bricklove@midwest.social · 13 pts · 236d
Makes sense that he's your ex
sparkles@piefed.zip · 10 pts · 236d
then_three_more@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 235d
You've done great leaving it to the kid to decide if and when they want to reduce / stop contact.
fascicle@leminal.space · 5 pts · 235d
Theres millions of people so theres bound to be all kinds
captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 234d
dad bad is the new wife bad.
carotte@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 235d
MissJinx@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 235d
My brother goes with my sil to do the shopping and goes out of his way to find the things he knows my nieces love. This year was frozen and kpop deamon hunters
MeowerMisfit817@lemmy.world · -4 pts · 235d
ahem
(edit: tf yall guys mean downvote i mean my father is like that not me)
semperverus@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 235d
No. Bad.
🩴
MeowerMisfit817@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 235d
No, I mean it's my father who is like that, not me
DontRedditMyLemmy@lemmy.world · 52 pts · 235d
Wow, lot of shitting on this guy... You know it just works for some families. Doesn't make dad a deadbeat if he's doing other stuff.
captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works · 18 pts · 235d
I mean, Dad was watching the kids while Mom did the shopping? sounds like a functional and healthy family to me.
VitoRobles@lemmy.today · 15 pts · 235d
No offense taken, as a dad.
My wife LOVES shopping for the kids and finding deals. I love helping the kids figure out what they want, and translating it to my wife.
It's a partnership.
JackbyDev@programming.dev · 6 pts · 235d
My wife is unemployed and loves doing gift stuff including wrapping. Even constantly asking if I want them to wrap their gifts for themself lol. I think some folks just see this without having loved it and assume it's bad. The reality is couples split their chores. My wife doesn't help me with yard work, even while unemployed, does it make them a deadbeat? No. That's just not how we split the chores.
corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca · 12 pts · 235d
Dad worked. One day in the lean years he was on the books for 5 employers at the same time: no overlapping shifts, just a hairy schedule on a paper calendar and more than one job-to-job commute.
We do not castigate dad for devoting his entire life to the household.
Mom, who merely had one full-timer, did the shopping and wrapping on the side. The two of them set up a wonderful Christmas day together with very few gifts and resources, and we were all together on Christmas morn before Dad went to work.
It worked. We didn't lack for joy.
MITM0@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 235d
People want excuses to shit on fathers.
tangonov@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 234d
My wife enjoys Christmas shopping, wrapping and decorating. I do not. I am happy to offer opinions and thoughts when she asks for them. I am happy to cook, clean, work and entertain. It works and honestly, if I forget what's under the tree it feels like a vicarious adventure for me. I see no reason to believe that there's anything wrong with making Christmas work.
stupidcasey@lemmy.world · 52 pts · 235d
Plot twist, Dad believes in Santa to this day because he knows he didn't buy the presents.
prettybunnys@piefed.social · 16 pts · 235d
When my son stopped believing in Santa dad was able to convince him that HE still believed in Santa. Keeping the traditions alive for a couple more years
Colonel_Panic@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 235d
If Santa isn't real then who ate the cookies?
MrShankles@reddthat.com · 2 pts · 234d
My favorite take in this thread
brown567@sh.itjust.works · 38 pts · 236d
In my defense, while my wife shopped and wrapped I was on toddler wrangling duty XD
DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world · 20 pts · 236d
My dad earned the money, my mom spent it. That worked for them, there were no complaints.
OTH, they were born during the Great Depression, and were both very frugal. Neither of them liked to spend money. As the fourth of four kids, most of my clothes and toys were hand-me-downs, and my mom made my clothes until I hit puberty, as well as making most of her own clothes her whole life. I don't have any complaints either. Both of my parents loved their kids unconditionally, I grew up in a warm, and mostly happy family.
brygphilomena@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 17 pts · 235d
I buy throughout the year whenever I see something I know they will like. By Christmas, I forget what I've bought and wrapped.
This year, I asked my girlfriend if she will want something and tell her I'll hold onto it until Christmas. Buy it with her, and then by the time she gets it, she's forgotten. I did that with a bracelet that said "Mom" on it during the summer, that I would put her daughters name as the from so that she gets something from her daughter. I always try to buy something to be "from" her daughter. It is really nice for her daughter too, to have that experience "giving" something on Christmas too.
I sat with her daughter the other night making bracelets for her to give out at our family Christmas party and the first one we made was for her to give to her biological Dad when she goes with him in a few days.
grue@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 235d
How do you avoid accidentally buying the same thing twice?
brygphilomena@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 235d
It hasn't happened. I only wrap around the beginning of December. So, I just wouldn't wrap em both. But I forget what they are in like a few days.
VampirePenguin@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 235d
I'd like to virtual cheers all of the men out there who bought thoughtful gifts and made someone happy this season. Merry Christmas!
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today · 14 pts · 235d
That was me this year. I had no idea my wife had been buying so much stuff.
Aneb@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 234d
And she likes to keep it that way.
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today · 4 pts · 234d
Yeah, she likes it, of course. My idea of Christmas shopping is watching the Aisle of Shame in Aldi, and when I see something interesting, I buy a few for gifts. If you need stockings stuffed, I'm your guy.
Aneb@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 234d
I saw a mop with the spinner bucket at my local Aldi and bought it as a gift for my sister
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today · 3 pts · 234d
I bought gloves, socks, underwear, toys, all kinds of stuff. I always buy up a bunch of their greeting cards, whenever they have them. Cards that would be $10 anywhere else, are like $1.50.
blinfabian@feddit.nl · 13 pts · 235d
ALERT: THIS IS SANTA DENIER CONSPIRACY PROPAGANDA!! SANTA CLAUS PUT THE PRESENTS THERE, NOT THE MOTHER
sol6_vi@lemmy.makearmy.io · 11 pts · 235d
My wife did all the shopping but I drove to 4 different pet stores across the county hunting for guinea pigs on Xmas eve, got two, hid them at my office in their little temp set up, then went back at midnight and brought them home.
Wife's idea but damn did I make that shit happen lol.
She's the best tho, I got her a knock off roomba to try to make her life easier. Hope it works well. Kids are stoked on the piggies.
modus@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 235d
I've heard good things about this third-party vacuum software if your into that sort of thing: https://valetudo.cloud/
sol6_vi@lemmy.makearmy.io · 1 pts · 233d
I am indeed into this sort of thing, thanks for the share!
BanMe@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 235d
Uhh I'm the one that fills the stockings so I get to act surprised by the shit I put in there 3 hours prior. Would be neat if someone else ever put something in mine, but not happened yet.
art@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 234d
I bought and wrapped presents that I'd forgotten what they were. Christmas was a wild one this year for me.
Evotech@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 235d
He knows how much it cost though
then_three_more@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 235d
I guess if he's the kind of guy that's good for nothing else
hamid@crazypeople.online · 1 pts · 234d
Everything I read about Christmas seems terrible and I'm so glad I don't have to do it
Warl0k3@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 235d
My dad is Buddhist
aceshigh@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 234d
What’s the point of being married/having kids with someone if they’re useless? They didn’t buy anyone presents, they didn’t get the house prepared for the holiday, they didn’t cook the meal.
TonyTonyChopper@mander.xyz · 1 pts · 234d
Probably spent all week wasting their time working 16 hour shifts in the mines
aceshigh@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 233d
As did the other spouse.
TonyTonyChopper@mander.xyz · 1 pts · 233d
😂