All the coping and socializing I did that inevitably lead me to poor choices and behaviors that I couldn’t tell where wrong or cringey at the time and now I’m stuck with pretty much only those memories of all the fun times i was having back then?
Probably still wouldn’t take it back but fuuuccckkk
On the plus side, I'm sitting here in middle age after spending several years putting constant daily effort into reverse engineering the instruction manual for this weird AuDHD scratch-and-dent brain I found myself with, and I have a son in elementary school who acts EXACTLY like me.
It gives me a unique satisfaction and adds a dimension to my relationship with him, being the one person on earth who has any understanding of his day to day issues and preferences. I hope to make it an "it ends with us" situation for all the related mental anguish as well as the loud angry conservative environments my wife and I grew up in.
I ended up with adult "friends" who were putting up just as big a front as me, probably also autistic in many cases really, but very far from any sort of acceptance of that. But I believed that everyone was like this, others were just better at it than me, so I never questioned a lot of things.
Once I reached paragraph 2 and began to act on that, well, they have scattered to the winds. Though to be fair, I did move an hour away from everyone I have known, though for me it's just pragmatic; I want to avoid the food riots (or possible Troubles, if the Usians go ahead and invade us; it will go as well for them as it did for the British in Ireland).
When I was growing up I had to hide all that or my school and parents would force me to go to therapy and then put me on a random new medication every month.
I was terrified I was going to get institutionalized if I didn't act as normal as I was capable of. I had multiple friends go through this. One of my friends almost killed himself while being forced to try a new antipsychotic for four weeks.
I hope kids these days feel a lot less pressure than my generation did about all that stuff.
17 Comments
4am@lemmy.zip · 43 pts · 247d
All the coping and socializing I did that inevitably lead me to poor choices and behaviors that I couldn’t tell where wrong or cringey at the time and now I’m stuck with pretty much only those memories of all the fun times i was having back then?
Probably still wouldn’t take it back but fuuuccckkk
Aneb@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 246d
Were they fun? Or were you just high or drunk? Fouble points if you had a joint in one hand and a beer in the other. Good times
compostgoblin@piefed.blahaj.zone · 22 pts · 246d
theneverfox@pawb.social · 20 pts · 247d
I wear a slightly pinching ear cuff that reminds me to stop pretending, personally
Hadriscus@jlai.lu · 4 pts · 246d
what do you mean ?
theneverfox@pawb.social · 7 pts · 246d
I use the sensation as a reminder throughout the day
gingernate@piefed.social · 5 pts · 246d
They personally wear an ear cuff that punches their ear to remind them to not be fake and just be themselves.
Trying2KnowMyself@lemmy.ml · 12 pts · 247d
Fuck.
Feathercrown@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 246d
Username checks out
Trying2KnowMyself@lemmy.ml · 2 pts · 246d
Far too well
Zink@programming.dev · 7 pts · 246d
Ouch.
On the plus side, I'm sitting here in middle age after spending several years putting constant daily effort into reverse engineering the instruction manual for this weird AuDHD scratch-and-dent brain I found myself with, and I have a son in elementary school who acts EXACTLY like me.
It gives me a unique satisfaction and adds a dimension to my relationship with him, being the one person on earth who has any understanding of his day to day issues and preferences. I hope to make it an "it ends with us" situation for all the related mental anguish as well as the loud angry conservative environments my wife and I grew up in.
JTode@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 246d
I ended up with adult "friends" who were putting up just as big a front as me, probably also autistic in many cases really, but very far from any sort of acceptance of that. But I believed that everyone was like this, others were just better at it than me, so I never questioned a lot of things.
Once I reached paragraph 2 and began to act on that, well, they have scattered to the winds. Though to be fair, I did move an hour away from everyone I have known, though for me it's just pragmatic; I want to avoid the food riots (or possible Troubles, if the Usians go ahead and invade us; it will go as well for them as it did for the British in Ireland).
Sam_Bass@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 246d
The me of my teens would be more likely to hide in a cabin in the woods than I would
Rekorse@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 246d
When I was growing up I had to hide all that or my school and parents would force me to go to therapy and then put me on a random new medication every month.
I was terrified I was going to get institutionalized if I didn't act as normal as I was capable of. I had multiple friends go through this. One of my friends almost killed himself while being forced to try a new antipsychotic for four weeks.
I hope kids these days feel a lot less pressure than my generation did about all that stuff.
jahtnamas@slrpnk.net · 4 pts · 246d
more like i was forced to hide all my mental issues by my abusive mother so i could adhere to her (extremely high) standards of social acceptance
Formfiller@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 246d
I was never able to do that unfortunately
TerdFerguson@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 244d
Answer: just stay away from everyone for a while