I try not to think about that too much, or an idealized version of life where I realized I was trans much younger and had a supportive environment to transition in as a kid. Those didnāt happen, and I donāt want to torment myself.
Plus, there are people who love me for who I am and things that give me joy now, and I would rather spend my time thinking about and being around them
I grew my hair as long as I was allowed to, getting it cut just inside the school rules (off the collar, eyebrows, and ears from K-8; off the collar and eyebrows from 9-12), for ages. I was bullied pretty relentlessly for it, mostly from adults. I eventually caved to the social pressure and cut it short, and hated it. I tried buzzing it and hated it even more. Had it short for probably around 8-10 years because I felt like I didnāt have any other choice.
And now itās down past my shoulders, and I love it so much š„°
I know what you mean about the trauma and repression flooding out, it's a lot sometimes. Glad to hear you've got a therapist and are taking care of yourself, sister š
Mostly pretty good! I got a drink with a friend from work on Friday, which was fun and I think weāll do again with some other work friends soon. I told him I was transitioning, and he immediately offered to write me a letter of support if I decide to fully come out at work and there are any problems. I feel fortunate to have as great of friends as I do š„°
My wife was gone for the weekend, so I mostly have just been deep cleaning the house. Didnāt get as much done as I had hoped I would, but thatās always how it goes.
I watched I Saw The TV Glow for the first time last night, and holy shit. It is so good, but also it hit me so hard, oof, I still have an emotional hangover. I definitely need to rewatch it, but I need some time to recover first š it looks like Jane Schoenbrun has a new movie coming out like right now though, so Iām going to try to see that soon
I havenāt found anything that helps, but no one has ever been a dick to me when Iāve said āsorry, I didnāt hear you, I have an auditory processing thingā
Fuck, I hope this works, because Iām falling apart. I had just gotten fired from a job I liked because I wasnāt able to stay focused on my work when we went remote for COVID, and my grades were suffering. I was nervous about my anxiety increasing, but I decided it was worth it because so many other things were falling through the cracks and I was out of ideas.
Experience:
My first thoughts were holy shit, is this how normal people have been living this whole time? (No, the euphoric effect goes away after a few days on it, ime.) It immensely helped me focus though, mostly by closing the executive function gap of āoh, I should do Xā to āand now I am doing Xā. And as long as I donāt drink too much caffeine, my anxiety actually improved, because I know Iām much less likely to be dropping the ball or forgetting something someone is counting on me for.
The biggest downside for me is the withdrawal. There have been a few times I was expecting a refill to come through, and it didnāt, and the withdrawals fucking suck. There hasnāt been a shortage in a while though, so thatās been good. The other, more frequent, downside is forgetting to eat. Meds never really helped me lose weight much, but if I manage to make it to 3-4 without eating because my meds are working, I feel like shit. So I have to remind myself to eat at least a little during the day so I donāt crash
On the whole, 9/10. There are some aspects I donāt love (including some doctors looking at me sideways like Iām a drug seeker), but itās absolutely changed my life, having the right diagnosis and medication. Iām so much better at managing all the minutiae of life, and it helps me actually follow through on my hobbies and other interests that would get ignored more in the past.
Itās golf, for me. I simply cannot imagine caring. But golf is somehow immensely popular with a certain type of career-oriented person. Anyway, solidarity with every javelina that has ever destroyed a golf course, and I hope they do it again. Fuckin hate golf.
Really good! My cousin came out to me as genderfluid, and I came out to them as trans. It feels so good to have someone in my family know, and to know Iām not the only queer one š
Awh thanks! š„°
I try not to think about that too much, or an idealized version of life where I realized I was trans much younger and had a supportive environment to transition in as a kid. Those didnāt happen, and I donāt want to torment myself.
Plus, there are people who love me for who I am and things that give me joy now, and I would rather spend my time thinking about and being around them
I grew my hair as long as I was allowed to, getting it cut just inside the school rules (off the collar, eyebrows, and ears from K-8; off the collar and eyebrows from 9-12), for ages. I was bullied pretty relentlessly for it, mostly from adults. I eventually caved to the social pressure and cut it short, and hated it. I tried buzzing it and hated it even more. Had it short for probably around 8-10 years because I felt like I didnāt have any other choice.
And now itās down past my shoulders, and I love it so much š„°
Ooh, I love the hair! Super cute š
I know what you mean about the trauma and repression flooding out, it's a lot sometimes. Glad to hear you've got a therapist and are taking care of yourself, sister š
Goals, tbh
Mostly pretty good! I got a drink with a friend from work on Friday, which was fun and I think weāll do again with some other work friends soon. I told him I was transitioning, and he immediately offered to write me a letter of support if I decide to fully come out at work and there are any problems. I feel fortunate to have as great of friends as I do š„°
My wife was gone for the weekend, so I mostly have just been deep cleaning the house. Didnāt get as much done as I had hoped I would, but thatās always how it goes.
I watched I Saw The TV Glow for the first time last night, and holy shit. It is so good, but also it hit me so hard, oof, I still have an emotional hangover. I definitely need to rewatch it, but I need some time to recover first š it looks like Jane Schoenbrun has a new movie coming out like right now though, so Iām going to try to see that soon
Thatās how I aspire to be
I havenāt found anything that helps, but no one has ever been a dick to me when Iāve said āsorry, I didnāt hear you, I have an auditory processing thingā
Initial thoughts:
Fuck, I hope this works, because Iām falling apart. I had just gotten fired from a job I liked because I wasnāt able to stay focused on my work when we went remote for COVID, and my grades were suffering. I was nervous about my anxiety increasing, but I decided it was worth it because so many other things were falling through the cracks and I was out of ideas.
Experience:
My first thoughts were holy shit, is this how normal people have been living this whole time? (No, the euphoric effect goes away after a few days on it, ime.) It immensely helped me focus though, mostly by closing the executive function gap of āoh, I should do Xā to āand now I am doing Xā. And as long as I donāt drink too much caffeine, my anxiety actually improved, because I know Iām much less likely to be dropping the ball or forgetting something someone is counting on me for.
The biggest downside for me is the withdrawal. There have been a few times I was expecting a refill to come through, and it didnāt, and the withdrawals fucking suck. There hasnāt been a shortage in a while though, so thatās been good. The other, more frequent, downside is forgetting to eat. Meds never really helped me lose weight much, but if I manage to make it to 3-4 without eating because my meds are working, I feel like shit. So I have to remind myself to eat at least a little during the day so I donāt crash
On the whole, 9/10. There are some aspects I donāt love (including some doctors looking at me sideways like Iām a drug seeker), but itās absolutely changed my life, having the right diagnosis and medication. Iām so much better at managing all the minutiae of life, and it helps me actually follow through on my hobbies and other interests that would get ignored more in the past.
Itās golf, for me. I simply cannot imagine caring. But golf is somehow immensely popular with a certain type of career-oriented person. Anyway, solidarity with every javelina that has ever destroyed a golf course, and I hope they do it again. Fuckin hate golf.
Iām sure therapists see these all day every day lol
Oooh what kind of bread?
Really good! My cousin came out to me as genderfluid, and I came out to them as trans. It feels so good to have someone in my family know, and to know Iām not the only queer one š
Sure, itās not totally accurate, but it does get the point across and make for a very compelling title
Abdul isnāt even a DSA member!
Thank you Ed Markey š I donāt live in his state, but I would be proud to have him represent me
And Seth Moulton can jump in a lake for all I care
Nah, itās okay to be angry. Itās not okay to express that anger as hostility.
I know how scary it is, but youāve got this, girl! Good luck!
Welcome back! Your night out sounds awesome!
I miss going out to bars, Iām working on making more friends so Iāll have people to go out with