Introductions are fun, everyone is just nervously waiting for their turn and not listening to anyone else. No names or titles or whatever are remembered in big introductions. So either I just say "My name is and I work with at " and I know that it's already forgotten.
The crux of the problem, just tell the engineers where the other engineers are, don't even need to exchange names, we're happy just calling each other engineer until we need to. Kind of prefer it actually.
heyy, it's ok if you do not know someones gender. it's really not that important. just treat it as the unknown that it is, and either refer to the person gender neutrally, or ask if you need to know. just please do not guess, because that just leads to you accidentally hurting people :)
call me whatever you want I genuinely don't care. you can call me he she they or it I genuinely don't care. the funniest thing a patient called me is a reference to one of my many obvious physical deformities. if you care what I'm called that's very genuinely a you problem. and honestly the more it bothers people to not know what to call me the funnier it gets.
I love it when kids call me fat or shout "Why is that fat man so hairy?" and their parents look mortified and tell them not to be rude while I laugh and agree with the kid, or answer them. For example, that last kid I told I was actually way less hairy than when I was a kid: back then I looked just like a little ball of fur and all you could see was my feet!
I feel the same way about my pronouns. It truly doesn't matter to me. I'm glad people who feel strongly about it have the opportunity to make that choice, I just can't relate to giving a damn about it. I had to call some customer service line a few times over the course of several days about a year ago, and every time I did, the agent asked the pronoun question. After like the fourth call I was getting annoyed. You'd think they'd add it to your profile after the first time, but no, even though they clearly had all my other information on a screen in front of them, they still had to ask. I don't get that.
I must also confess to a slight paranoia about such things. I feel like my gender is information neither the government nor the company I buy pants from actually need. Why do they want to know? How is it going to change what they do for me?
that's what i though about my gender and then i always got mad at people guessing without asking me and guessing wrong and it got awkward and honestly i should have just told them cause honestly if the ignorant mountain doesn't come to you, you gotta be the bigger bitch and come to the mounten or something i don't fucking know
fuck this society and it's normativities but unfortunately it won't change on it's own :<
The secret is to just not care what people call you when you're not there. Even when I'm in the room and people are talking about me it's mostly just funny to listen to whatever they come up with.
the oblivion persuasion wheel of pronoun selection. just be sure not to pick the wrong one too many times or their opinion of you will be unrecoverable.
Stupid question, but is coming out a thing you have to do every time you meet a new person? I kinda thought it was just the name for when you tell people you're queer for like the first time, but I guess there isn't really a word for already being publicly out but mentioning it to someone who hasn't heard?
Yeah that's coming out too afaik. The emphasis is just on the initial one because it tends to be the scariest and the most consequential. When I came out as aro/ace I was most nervous about the initial ones, close friends and family. Not that I necessarily expected trouble, but it would have the most impact on my life. Now my go-to strategy is to be very casual about it and act surprised that people didn't already know whenever I have to tell someone new. Pretending to be confident actually tends to work.
It's still coming out though, and with how the world works it always keeps being a bit scary
Seems pretty unobjectionable to me. I certainly won't actually implement all of the changes suggested here, but there's none where I can't see the logic. What things about it bother you specifically?
Some of them are understandable and offer solid suggestions, others are vague in their suggestions or offer up alternatives that would just be confusing to a reader.
45 Comments
Makhno@lemmy.world · 74 pts · 90d
Not my job to know what someone wants to be called...? The childish entitlement sheesh
voidsignal@lemmy.world · 49 pts · 90d
Yeah. I don't mind calling you whatever you like if you tell me. Otherwise I just don't give a shit and I'll call you whatever I feel like.
lauha@lemmy.world · 44 pts · 90d
I hate introducing myself. how is you not knowing my name a me problem. figure it out idiot.
gandalf_der_12te@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 12 pts · 89d
i think the whole meme is a joke :)
lauha@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 89d
Definitely :D
BarbecueCowboy@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 89d
I know you're kidding, but I work in a corporate environment, wouldn't it be great if we could skip the introduction phase in meetings.
lauha@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 89d
Maybe everyone could wear a nametag with name in large letters and we could just get the job done.
N0tTr0xy@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 89d
tattoo names on the forehead. (A not very good idea)
pmk@piefed.ca · 2 pts · 89d
Introductions are fun, everyone is just nervously waiting for their turn and not listening to anyone else. No names or titles or whatever are remembered in big introductions. So either I just say "My name is and I work with at " and I know that it's already forgotten.
N0tTr0xy@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 89d
Is it really like that for everybody?
Cypher@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 89d
No, usually in meetings those intros help separate managers from technical staff, so I know who will actually be useful to talk to.
BarbecueCowboy@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 89d
The crux of the problem, just tell the engineers where the other engineers are, don't even need to exchange names, we're happy just calling each other engineer until we need to. Kind of prefer it actually.
N0tTr0xy@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 89d
There are definetly people, who I’ve talked a lot with, whose names I don’t know.
teslekova@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 89d
Damn right, Steve.
voidsignal@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 89d
wow how did you know?
riwo@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 14 pts · 89d
heyy, it's ok if you do not know someones gender. it's really not that important. just treat it as the unknown that it is, and either refer to the person gender neutrally, or ask if you need to know. just please do not guess, because that just leads to you accidentally hurting people :)
pmk@piefed.ca · 2 pts · 89d
Unfortunately, asking can also lead to accidentally hurting people.
Apytele@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 89d
call me whatever you want I genuinely don't care. you can call me he she they or it I genuinely don't care. the funniest thing a patient called me is a reference to one of my many obvious physical deformities. if you care what I'm called that's very genuinely a you problem. and honestly the more it bothers people to not know what to call me the funnier it gets.
trashcroissant@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 5 pts · 89d
This is how imma describe my gender next time my therapist checks in on it
teslekova@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 89d
I love it when kids call me fat or shout "Why is that fat man so hairy?" and their parents look mortified and tell them not to be rude while I laugh and agree with the kid, or answer them. For example, that last kid I told I was actually way less hairy than when I was a kid: back then I looked just like a little ball of fur and all you could see was my feet!
Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 89d
I feel the same way about my pronouns. It truly doesn't matter to me. I'm glad people who feel strongly about it have the opportunity to make that choice, I just can't relate to giving a damn about it. I had to call some customer service line a few times over the course of several days about a year ago, and every time I did, the agent asked the pronoun question. After like the fourth call I was getting annoyed. You'd think they'd add it to your profile after the first time, but no, even though they clearly had all my other information on a screen in front of them, they still had to ask. I don't get that.
Apytele@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 89d
I must also confess to a slight paranoia about such things. I feel like my gender is information neither the government nor the company I buy pants from actually need. Why do they want to know? How is it going to change what they do for me?
atopi@piefed.blahaj.zone · 4 pts · 89d
the childish entitlement is probably because this is a joke, posted on a community where people post jokes
NOT_RICK@lemmy.world · 38 pts · 90d
Guess I’ll use my mind reading powers?
riwo@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 19 pts · 89d
that's what i though about my gender and then i always got mad at people guessing without asking me and guessing wrong and it got awkward and honestly i should have just told them cause honestly if the ignorant mountain doesn't come to you, you gotta be the bigger bitch and come to the mounten or something i don't fucking know
fuck this society and it's normativities but unfortunately it won't change on it's own :<
Apytele@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 89d
The secret is to just not care what people call you when you're not there. Even when I'm in the room and people are talking about me it's mostly just funny to listen to whatever they come up with.
riwo@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 4 pts · 89d
i'm personally not there yet. it still hurts when people (mis)gender me. i hope to get to that point where i don't care anymore tho :3
morto@piefed.social · 12 pts · 90d
The solution to that is just using random pronouns. If they make an angry look, you used the wrong one
xkbx@startrek.website · 5 pts · 90d
Hey, if that’s what shit wanted to call shitself, who am I to deny shim?
applebusch@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 89d
the oblivion persuasion wheel of pronoun selection. just be sure not to pick the wrong one too many times or their opinion of you will be unrecoverable.
douglasg14b@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 89d
So then stop getting mad at people if they guess wrong if you're not willing to tell them.
Mulligrubs@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 89d
It's not a me problem either, it has absolutely nothing to do with me. Don't come out, come out, whatever.
python@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 89d
Stupid question, but is coming out a thing you have to do every time you meet a new person? I kinda thought it was just the name for when you tell people you're queer for like the first time, but I guess there isn't really a word for already being publicly out but mentioning it to someone who hasn't heard?
alternategait@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 89d
SuperNovaStar@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 88d
I look queer enough that it pretty much doesn't need saying
gerryflap@feddit.nl · 2 pts · 89d
Yeah that's coming out too afaik. The emphasis is just on the initial one because it tends to be the scariest and the most consequential. When I came out as aro/ace I was most nervous about the initial ones, close friends and family. Not that I necessarily expected trouble, but it would have the most impact on my life. Now my go-to strategy is to be very casual about it and act surprised that people didn't already know whenever I have to tell someone new. Pretending to be confident actually tends to work.
It's still coming out though, and with how the world works it always keeps being a bit scary
bequirtle@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 89d
literally telling people to assume your gender :P
cupcakezealot@piefed.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 89d
my brain @ me
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 89d
Nope. I won't figure its gender out, I will apply it to every person.
alapakala@quokk.au · -7 pts · 90d
Easy: “Hi woods!”
100akerWoods needs some antiableist language courses
NOT_RICK@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 90d
I cannot take this seriously.
porous_grey_matter@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 89d
Seems pretty unobjectionable to me. I certainly won't actually implement all of the changes suggested here, but there's none where I can't see the logic. What things about it bother you specifically?
NOT_RICK@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 89d
Some of them are understandable and offer solid suggestions, others are vague in their suggestions or offer up alternatives that would just be confusing to a reader.
alapakala@quokk.au · -5 pts · 90d
Ableism is very serious. Do you require me to accommodate you?
j4yc33@piefed.social · 3 pts · 90d
It is double plus un clever of the individual who was unaware of the gender of 100akerwoods
alapakala@quokk.au · -5 pts · 90d
Thank goodness silly old me is not an individual! It would distraught me to offend The Wood’s gender!