Isn't that how you break up?

444 points · 19 comments · view on lemmy.world

19 Comments

simplejack@lemmy.world · 87 pts · 230d (3 replies)

That’s when you tell the girlfriend that he faked an STI test and gave you something incurable.

At the very least that will force them to have couples STI testing done, and she’ll ask for verification from the doctor directly. So that’ll add a some tension in their lives for a few days / weeks.

agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works · 29 pts · 230d (1 reply)

Maybe there's a god above

But all I ever learned in love

Was how to shoot at someone

Who outdrew ya

OrangeScentedFish@discuss.tchncs.de · 3 pts · 230d

Hallelujah, hallelujah

Rooty@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 230d

You always have a solution for every problem my Lord and Savior.

RiceMunk@sopuli.xyz · 61 pts · 230d (9 replies)

I want to know the secrets of being able to fart on a video call in such a way that the other party notices.

Do I need a separate microphone for my butt?

Kolanaki@pawb.social · 29 pts · 230d

Do I need a separate microphone for my butt?

No wonder so many mics come in 2 packs 🤔

robocall@lemmy.world · 22 pts · 230d (4 replies)

Do you not have loud farts?

RiceMunk@sopuli.xyz · 17 pts · 230d (3 replies)

Not loud enough to be audible in video conferences. Or maybe they just never tell me. :(

D_C@sh.itjust.works · 27 pts · 230d

The other people are just being polite. Your video farts are legendary.

Passerby6497@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 230d (1 reply)

Bro has never noticed his icon light up right after ripping a big one.

ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 230d

Probably the light has gone off by the time he lands back in his chair.

funkajunk@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 229d

My hole is always mic'd up

affenlehrer@feddit.org · 3 pts · 230d (1 reply)

If you use MS teams you have to disable the noise suppression

NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone · 8 pts · 230d

Yeah, I did this for playing guitar over Zoom when COVID meant I couldn’t annoy people at house parties.

RavingGrob@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 25 pts · 230d

Talk about being gaslighted

Gork@sopuli.xyz · 13 pts · 230d

So tragic 😔

ryan213@lemmy.ca · 7 pts · 230d

I don't laugh very often (because I'm a very serious guy) but this made me chuckle. Just a little bit.

sundray@lemmus.org · 2 pts · 230d

The future dissolution of that new couple is going to incredible.

NachBarcelona@piefed.social · 2 pts · 230d

Living the stink life. 🤌💨