Biz_dave on Threads is training crows to attack red hats

760 points · 58 comments · view on lemmy.world

58 Comments

Tikiporch@lemmy.world · 77 pts · 209d (4 replies)

Damn, this works against all my enemies. MAGA and Cincinnati Reds fans.

deacon@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 209d (3 replies)

FUCK THE CARDINALS!

Tikiporch@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 209d

On that, we can agree!

Signed, a Pirates fan.

Mirshe@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 208d (1 reply)

What about the innocent Red Sox fans?

Quill7513@slrpnk.net · 2 pts · 208d

you ain't innocent, don't front. only teams from your division anyone likes are the Jays and the Rays

— Unbiased nats fan (also in danger from these crows, but willing to switch to the alt caps in my profile pic)

FiniteBanjo@feddit.online · 60 pts · 210d (1 reply)

Lol teaching it to attack red hats.

LongLive@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 209d

Is there a prevalence of carrying firearms among them? The crows would probably learn quickly from a gunshot.

blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 54 pts · 209d (1 reply)

Great idea. Crows can remember faces so when the magas boot off and attack the crow. 

A grudge will be born

EmpathicVagrant@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 209d

Worse they seen describe you to the others so multiple will know them.

robocall@lemmy.world · 43 pts · 210d (6 replies)

Hope the birds stay safe

Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works · 38 pts · 209d (5 replies)

Crows are pretty good at the old peck'n'dodge, and pretty tough generally, especially when in a murder.

I think we could extend this training to seagulls, baiting the MAGA hats with French fries. Get started now to ruin the nazis' summer.

rumba@lemmy.zip · 9 pts · 209d (3 replies)

extend this training to seagulls

Now that's a winning idea, I'd feel pretty bad if a crow got hurt. Fucking seagulls man, screw those things.

Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 209d

They act exactly like Republicans: MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE!

Olgratin_Magmatoe@slrpnk.net · 1 pts · 208d (1 reply)

But do they have the intelligence to handle this? Crows certainly do. I'm doubtful of seagulls

rumba@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 208d

Yeah, i've seen them to some pretty sneaky stuff for food, but I don't know that even if they could handle it without it being related to food.

BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 208d

Yeah, if a MAGA pulled a gun and tried to shoot a crow, he'd be more likely to shoot his MAGA companion, as the crows laugh at them.

OTOH, if he managed to hit the crow, ALL the other crows are going to get revenge.

noxypaws@pawb.social · 38 pts · 209d (5 replies)

I like the spirit behind the idea. I strongly dislike putting crows in harm's way, 'cuz we all know a sizable chunk of MAGA fucks wouldn't feel a shred of remorse if they managed to get hold of a crow that went after their hat, or otherwise just pulled out a gun and shot them.

IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 209d

train them to poop in them instead.

BassTurd@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 209d (1 reply)

I would imagine that the crows are in places where brandishing a firearm to fire on a bird isn't allowed. Also, while I'm not one of these fascist fuck faces, I've been swooped by red wing black birds, and when it happens the first instinct is, "Fuck! Oh fuck! Bird!!!".

edgemaster72@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 209d

"I feared for my life", if they can use it to justify murdering humans they'll absolutely allow it as a defense to pulling a gun on a bird

Voroxpete@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 208d

Suggesting that any MAGA has the marksmanship to hit a crow.

Fedizen@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 209d

The crows can quit at any time

Klear@quokk.au · 24 pts · 210d (7 replies)

That's a cute jackdaw!

EvilBit@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 209d (4 replies)

toynbee@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 209d (3 replies)

They need only leave if they use alts for vote manipulation.

rumba@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 209d (2 replies)

He was a jerk, he was against TOS, but fuck if he didn't know some shit.

toynbee@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 209d (1 reply)

Honestly, that whole saga happened very shortly after I started using Reddit. I don't have much of an opinion, I just know a bit of the lore.

It does indeed sound like he knew quite a bit about birds.

rumba@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 209d

Birds, Biology, Environmental Science. Occasionally, he would stray a bit outside his wheelhouse and post a spicy or outright bad take, which would garner tons of upvotes. At the same time, the people who corrected him and anyone supporting them would get downvoted to hell. That was the first inclination I had that he was manipulating the vote. It was a shame because when he was on topic, his stuff was interesting.

showmeyourkizinti@startrek.website · 11 pts · 209d

prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 208d

Here's the thing...

OkeyEffect@feddit.org · 24 pts · 210d (1 reply)

Not really fair to the crows.

P1k1e@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 209d

One could argue this provides them better long term opportunities

Kolanaki@pawb.social · 23 pts · 209d (1 reply)

First the hat; then the eyes.

SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org · 11 pts · 209d

Then the carotid artery.

over_clox@lemmy.world · 22 pts · 210d

Biz_dave is serving the country like a fine outstanding citizen.

Be like Biz_dave. 👍

mrgoosmoos@lemmy.ca · 15 pts · 210d (3 replies)

as a Canadian, I approve

Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de · 20 pts · 210d (2 replies)

Could you... Could you teach geese this? Please?

mrgoosmoos@lemmy.ca · 14 pts · 209d (1 reply)

I don't think they can be tamed

homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 209d

No no we just want to hire them

NOT_RICK@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 210d (2 replies)

I’m just a Phillies fan, I swear!!!

errer@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 209d (1 reply)

All the more reason

NOT_RICK@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 209d

We’re the most losing team in sports history, haven’t we suffered enough?!? The Braves being in second place is a minor consolation

Blackfeathr@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 210d (4 replies)

They should use a MAGA hat as the bait hat so crows will know exactly what to look for

whyNotSquirrel@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 209d (1 reply)

maybe OOP didn't want to touch a real maga hat, and I can't blame them

Blackfeathr@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 209d

That's fair 😆

ThePantser@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 210d

eh then for their content they would have to blur out the words to prevent free publicity. Easier to just use a blank so there is less video editing.

A_norny_mousse@feddit.org · 8 pts · 209d

I believe they would be able to tell the difference, so yeah 👍

EtherWhack@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 209d (4 replies)

Inb4 MAGA start legitimately believing that they are drones. Like, serious MTG and man-made hurricane level.

swab148@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 209d (3 replies)

"Birds aren't real" is already a thing

EtherWhack@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 209d (2 replies)

That's more a joke, I mean real tweaker level stuff

swab148@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 209d

"Flat Earth" started as a joke too

rumba@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 209d

That’s more a joke, I mean real tweaker level stuff

Yeah I put the sign up in my office, It's the only thing they ever made me take down.

TheGrandNagus@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 208d

And suddenly it dawns on me why Ferrari's F1 team don't wear their usual red caps during US races...

Bytemeister@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 209d (1 reply)

My wife and I have been discussing training crows to go after ICE agents.

Discuss only. I swear.

Drusas@fedia.io · 2 pts · 209d

You could train them not to trust men wearing hats and face masks. Then the crows will likely harass anyone who fits the description.

RickyRigatoni@retrolemmy.com · 5 pts · 208d

If he hates fascists why is he on threads

Aljernon@lemmy.today · 4 pts · 208d

Not all heros wear capes

kSPvhmTOlwvMd7Y7E@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 208d

I am using Fedora btw