French hospital treats man with shell up his rectum

https://www.ctvnews.ca/world/article/french-hospital-treats-man-with-shell-up-his-rectum/

A hospital in Toulouse, southwest France, confirmed Sunday they had treated a man who was admitted with a shell lodged in his rectum -- after calling a bomb disposal team.

114 points · 42 comments · view on lemmy.world

42 Comments

MantisToboggon@lemmy.world · 44 pts · 200d (1 reply)

Is that how the three seashells work?😐

Gsus4@mander.xyz · 14 pts · 200d

I think he tried too hard...

Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works · 32 pts · 200d (2 replies)

Ohhh, THAT type of shell.

I respect the man for not lying about it, at least.

tal@lemmy.today · 10 pts · 200d (1 reply)

I think that if you show up at the hospital with a shell vanished up your rear, probably one way or another they're gonna figure out that there's a shell up there.

wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 200d

But what if you use the cli?

I'll be here all week

hellfire103@lemmy.ca · 28 pts · 200d
EpicMuch@sh.itjust.works · 18 pts · 200d

This is not how anyone ever wants to show up on the news, let alone internationally

Bot@sub.community · 15 pts · 200d (5 replies)

Clam Lives Matter?

TheBat@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 200d (3 replies)
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Bot@sub.community · 8 pts · 200d (2 replies)

Holly shit!

YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today · 9 pts · 200d (1 reply)

Only if it's blessed by a priest before rapid distribution, otherwise it's just sparkling feces.

Bot@sub.community · 5 pts · 200d

That’s mighty Catholic

Agent641@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 200d

I was on the edge of my seat, wondering, Sea, clam, snail, tortoise, coconut, or secure.

riskable@programming.dev · 15 pts · 200d (1 reply)

Everyone that said they "dropped a bomb in the toilet" is just a poser. This guy is the real deal.

YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today · 3 pts · 200d

Don't nobody go in there for 704 million to 1.4 billion years.

blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 13 pts · 200d (2 replies)

He probably thought he had nothing Toulouse trying that 

Dremor@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 200d (1 reply)

And wanted to do something Nice to himself.

blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 199d

I doubt he was compus mentus, he probably had a few Alés in him 

Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca · 11 pts · 200d (6 replies)

I'm disapointed they didn't mention the calibre. Was it a 50BMG cartridge? A 12.7mm machine gun shell or a 155mm artillery shell?

aramis87@fedia.io · 9 pts · 200d (5 replies)

The team in the operating room found themselves having to extract a “collectible shell nearly 20 centimetres long” (nearly eight inches).

Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca · 7 pts · 200d

Everyone knows it's a myth that length is important. Women of discerning taste and frenchmen of questionable apetites need girth! ;)

What's the diameter?

davidagain@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 200d (2 replies)

"Everything's a dildo if you're horny/brave enough." - man.

YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 200d (1 reply)

That Mario Lemieux sure had a way with words.

davidagain@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 199d

He did?

eestileib@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 200d

Oh it's not part of the Iron Harvest, this guy was using a dud on himself, meh.

fibojoly@sh.itjust.works · 10 pts · 200d (3 replies)

Was reading about this on local news yesterday and it's already here?! Poor lad... Even with our stringent laws regarding patient confidentiality, it's gonna be hard to live it down.

GreenKnight23@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 200d (2 replies)

almost as hard as living with unexploded ordinance stuffed in your rectum.

fibojoly@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 200d (1 reply)

On the plus side, he won't have to literally pay for it for the rest of his natural life. I wonder how much that would cost, in the US.

GreenKnight23@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 200d

the same amount it would cost when an unexploded ordinance explodes in your rectum.

an arm and a leg.

Fuckfuckmyfuckingass@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 200d

Rectum, hell it killed 'em!

moondoggie@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 200d

“I slipped in the shower and fell on it.”

miss_demeanour@quokk.au · 8 pts · 200d (1 reply)

Why would they use a shell in his rectum instead of a colonoscope?

XTL@sopuli.xyz · 1 pts · 200d

Treatment is different in France.

djmikeale@feddit.dk · 7 pts · 200d (3 replies)

Wow he must have felt quite BASHful getting that procedure done

slothrop@lemmy.ca · 6 pts · 200d (2 replies)

He was Bourne Again!

djmikeale@feddit.dk · 4 pts · 200d (1 reply)

ZSHit that sounds insane

slothrop@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 200d

Should have ctrl+d exit.

raman_klogius@ani.social · 5 pts · 200d

My guy is definitely shellshocked after this.

foggy@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 200d

Why do I know this?

QuentinCallaghan@sopuli.xyz · 3 pts · 200d

Damn you were fast, I was about to post about this!

Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 199d

Situation was a bit HEATed, I would venture...

Godric@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 199d

Here I was ready with a 1000 mollusk jokes, but I'll clam up as it's not that type of shell.

His gas has to be deadly, did he bomb the toilet before going to the hospital? At least he's OK and the doctors now have Somme more war stories to tell about this guy.

sturger@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 200d

This isn’t even the first time someone went to the hospital with an explosive round stuck in their asshole.