Apparently some countries are now testing boys in puberty with a method of determining just how large their penis will become. They then train those with the largest hog potential on how to ski jump
Ski jumping is the dumbest sport out there. There are points for style which is arbitrary and already takes it down couple of levels compared with real sports. Weight is super important so the 'athletes' are all starving all the time. Wind has a big influence so they have to guess when gust will happen but since it changer during the day judges will arbitrarily change the length of runway at different points of the competition. It's barely fair. And on top of that the suit has such a huge influence that the jumpers can't even touch it after they were certified. Like they literally can't touch the suit they are wearing because just changing how it adjust to the body will affect the score. And now we learned that adding 1cm to the length of the suit have such a big influence that they will inject stuff in their dicks to get an advantage. This 'sport' is more about starving yourself, having luck and finding ways to cheat the rules then it is about athleticism.
I think all Olympic level sports are a lot about "finding ways to cheat the rules then it is about athleticism" because it's the highest level of competition. Myself, I am not athletic. If I wanted to become a runner I'd get better by running more. But the best of the best are already training a ton. So to get advantages and milk those few teeny tiny advancements they have to turn to things like the suits. Remember those swim suits that they used to use? I think they're banned now but they gave an advantage and I think they were single use too, which is crazy.
Yes but no one does ski jumping as a hobby. Running, skiing, cycling and pretty much any other sport can be done for fun or for health benefits. Ski jumping is quite unique as sport that exists only at professional level where it's all about cheating.
Just enforce a pp size of exactly 2cm, the staff will check you just before the jump & either cut or fluff you to specification.
... but while on subject - since they use (size regulated) skis as part of the equipment, why don't they allow for like (size regulated) beaver tail buttplugs that the athletes would manoeuvre to their advantage (gliding & prolonging the jump, tho the best amongst them would actually flap it vigorously for extra lift).
The entire suit is 3D, in which case it makes more sense to talk about surface area, but that is measured in cm². The "circumference" must apply to the "sail" shadow.
The best thing about ski jumping is a Japanese video from the early Internet days where they rolled different tires down a jump to see which one went the furthest. Looked like it was recorded on VHS and digitized by a TI-83 to post online, but it's awesome. Gotta go search for it again!
43 Comments
474D@lemmy.world · 47 pts · 202d
Ok but what if a guy just has a massive hog, should he get into this sport early?
Mickey7@lemmy.world · 43 pts · 202d
Apparently some countries are now testing boys in puberty with a method of determining just how large their penis will become. They then train those with the largest hog potential on how to ski jump
Saapas@piefed.zip · 42 pts · 202d
Just your standard penis inspection day
4am@lemmy.zip · 24 pts · 202d
This sounds like hugenics to me
Noodle07@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 202d
Hogenics
MintyFresh@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 202d
Dongenics
mastertigurius@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 202d
"Hog potential" should go on the report card, next to attendance and teacher's comments.
PhoenixDog@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 202d
Your child failed the Hog Potential portion of the exam.
"But she doesn't have a hog.."
That's why she failed, sir.
Mickey7@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 202d
To be fair and equal should the same be done with girls and use the term "rack size potential"
kbobabob@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 201d
Why go through all that hassle when you can just inject acid into your junk?
https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2026/feb/06/penisgate-winter-olympics-ski-jumpers-acid-penis-health-risks-explainer
hayvan@piefed.world · 2 pts · 199d
* sleps kid in the crotch * this bad boy can gain us at least 5m extra.
MidsizedSedan@lemmy.world · 45 pts · 202d
Go back to OLD old Olympics. Everyone naked
assassinatedbyCIA@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 202d
The cheating countries now begin selecting competitors with the largest genitals for greatest lift effect.
Fedizen@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 202d
That is just how the olympics and pro sports works.
95% training 5% finding the mutants. The 5% is basically the only way to break records these days when people aren't trying to engineer victory.
This is why we should have events targetted at everyday tasks: "endurance sitting" "quickest 1000 stair steps carrying a heavy box" etc
Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 5 pts · 202d
Would make the Winter Olympics quite challenging!
MidsizedSedan@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 196d
No one said the olympics is easy. Is it 3 weeks no food, 3 days no water, 3 hours no shelter (from the elements)?
So make sure every game is less than 1hr30min at the high end.
Agent641@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 202d
Especially the judges and spectators
4am@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 202d
They’ll have to make a new rule banning the batwing
Pringles@sopuli.xyz · 3 pts · 202d
Olimpics
ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net · 32 pts · 202d
Ski jumping is the dumbest sport out there. There are points for style which is arbitrary and already takes it down couple of levels compared with real sports. Weight is super important so the 'athletes' are all starving all the time. Wind has a big influence so they have to guess when gust will happen but since it changer during the day judges will arbitrarily change the length of runway at different points of the competition. It's barely fair. And on top of that the suit has such a huge influence that the jumpers can't even touch it after they were certified. Like they literally can't touch the suit they are wearing because just changing how it adjust to the body will affect the score. And now we learned that adding 1cm to the length of the suit have such a big influence that they will inject stuff in their dicks to get an advantage. This 'sport' is more about starving yourself, having luck and finding ways to cheat the rules then it is about athleticism.
JackbyDev@programming.dev · 3 pts · 201d
I think all Olympic level sports are a lot about "finding ways to cheat the rules then it is about athleticism" because it's the highest level of competition. Myself, I am not athletic. If I wanted to become a runner I'd get better by running more. But the best of the best are already training a ton. So to get advantages and milk those few teeny tiny advancements they have to turn to things like the suits. Remember those swim suits that they used to use? I think they're banned now but they gave an advantage and I think they were single use too, which is crazy.
ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net · 3 pts · 200d
Yes but no one does ski jumping as a hobby. Running, skiing, cycling and pretty much any other sport can be done for fun or for health benefits. Ski jumping is quite unique as sport that exists only at professional level where it's all about cheating.
Mickey7@lemmy.world · 27 pts · 202d
You can read a real news article here about this. Imagine injecting stuff into your penis. https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2026/feb/06/penisgate-winter-olympics-ski-jumpers-acid-penis-health-risks-explainer
gustofwind@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 202d
I’d be ok with this if it was guaranteed their penises became infected and required amputation
Can only do it once so make it count
Gork@sopuli.xyz · 5 pts · 202d
The ol' Elon, as it's traditionally called.
foodandart@lemmy.zip · 7 pts · 202d
That's stupid. Dudes just need to use a penis pump the week they get fitted for the suit.
Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk · 7 pts · 202d
Done! What's next?
treeko@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 202d
Now imagine injecting penis into Winter Olympics ski jumpers
Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk · 5 pts · 202d
Pfffft, way ahead of you.
TribblesBestFriend@startrek.website · 20 pts · 202d
There’s an easy fix for that … make the suit crotch less but no one want to ear the truth
Klear@quokk.au · 3 pts · 202d
More like they don't want to eye it.
Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club · 14 pts · 202d
Just enforce a pp size of exactly 2cm, the staff will check you just before the jump & either cut or fluff you to specification.
... but while on subject - since they use (size regulated) skis as part of the equipment, why don't they allow for like (size regulated) beaver tail buttplugs that the athletes would manoeuvre to their advantage (gliding & prolonging the jump, tho the best amongst them would actually flap it vigorously for extra lift).
Mickey7@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 202d
Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 202d
TheBat@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 202d
Mickey7@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 202d
research shows that the only advantage is with length and girth of the penis shaft. Testicles do not play a significant part
Mickey7@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 202d
Remember the good old days when guys would shove socks into their underwear and girls would shove them into their bras?
pennomi@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 202d
boonhet@sopuli.xyz · 8 pts · 202d
I love how the codpiece is not the weird part of this painting
ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org · 3 pts · 202d
Um... That part is concave so adding material (area) decreases circumference.
Fedizen@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 202d
Suit circumference I think means "of the entire suit". Its a weird way to say it but in the context they're using it, it makes sense.
ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org · 1 pts · 202d
The entire suit is 3D, in which case it makes more sense to talk about surface area, but that is measured in cm². The "circumference" must apply to the "sail" shadow.
MSP_SMIMSA@noauthority.social · 2 pts · 202d
@Mickey7
Genital sails
SlurpingPus@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 200d
ouRKaoS@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 201d
The best thing about ski jumping is a Japanese video from the early Internet days where they rolled different tires down a jump to see which one went the furthest. Looked like it was recorded on VHS and digitized by a TI-83 to post online, but it's awesome. Gotta go search for it again!