Follow me for more shitty diet tips

712 points · 36 comments · view on lemmy.world

36 Comments

Sarcasmo@piefed.social · 123 pts · 222d (3 replies)

frog@feddit.uk · 72 pts · 222d (2 replies)

Pattern: Death

Try dying

We noticed when people die they consume significantly less to no calories

jaybone@lemmy.zip · 16 pts · 222d (1 reply)

The fat comes right off.

umbrella@lemmy.ml · 8 pts · 221d
[ removed ]
betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world · 73 pts · 222d

The calories don't count if I pass out before I log them.

Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world · 62 pts · 221d (3 replies)

I hear meth is also good at suppressing your appetite.

mike_hunt@sh.itjust.works · 12 pts · 221d

Perhaps, but I hear it may have certain side effects...

skisnow@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 221d (1 reply)

Or you could get aides

SwingingTheLamp@piefed.zip · 6 pts · 221d

A nutritionist and a personal chef? I don't have that kind of money.

amino@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 40 pts · 222d

cancer definitely makes you lose calories, I am a diet app and very smart

kilgore_trout@feddit.it · 36 pts · 221d

AI dietologist 🔥

MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip · 26 pts · 221d

LLM-fueled?

First_Thunder@lemmy.zip · 21 pts · 222d (2 replies)

Are they counting with the calories from the alcohol itself?

FartMaster69@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 15 pts · 222d (1 reply)

Hey, if you eat nothing while bing drinking you can keep calories low :)

toynbee@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 222d

Calories and thiamine both!

IrateAnteater@sh.itjust.works · 18 pts · 222d

It kinda works for me. Sipping on a whiskey works to shift the craving for chips after I've already eaten dinner. Of course, that goes out the window if I don't keep it to the one drink.

m4xie@lemmy.ca · 18 pts · 221d (1 reply)

This feels illegal

mike_hunt@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 221d

I assure you it's perfectly legal, as long as you are of drinking age.

18107@aussie.zone · 17 pts · 222d

Could it be that you forget to write down calories after a sufficient amount of alcohol?

BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works · 16 pts · 222d (1 reply)

Sowreee ofeesir, I'm on diet

jaybone@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 222d

I’m charging you with Diet Under the Influence!

mic_check_one_two@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 14 pts · 221d

Ah yes, the College Sophomore technique: Don’t eat all day, so the party beer gets you absolutely wasted when you’re drinking on an empty stomach. That’s just efficient use of resources.

usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca · 9 pts · 222d

Alcohol makes me eat more

YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today · 7 pts · 222d (4 replies)

Isn't alcohol digested as sugar?

CubitOom@infosec.pub · 7 pts · 222d (3 replies)
  • Pure alcohol has 7 calories per gram
  • Sugar has 3 calories per gram
  • Carbs has 3 calories per gram
  • Fat has 9 calories per gram
mike_hunt@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 221d (2 replies)

So you're saying alcohol is healthier than fat...

CubitOom@infosec.pub · 2 pts · 221d (1 reply)

Actually fat can help you feel full quicker and then eat less overall

YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 216d

Also, the whole myelin sheath thing.

SethTaylor@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 221d

You could also try losing a leg. Those are pretty heavy.

This idea brought to you by ChatGPT

Aeao@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 221d

“Have you considered cocaine?”

wildncrazyguy138@fedia.io · 5 pts · 222d

Whiskey, the social laxative hero we all wanted, but didn’t know we needed.

heiligerbimbam@lemmy.wtf · 5 pts · 222d

lol. You should get rid of this app.

Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 222d
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lolola@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 4 pts · 222d

Big brain. Huuuge brain. Big ol' bulbous throbbing pulsating brain time.

londos@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 221d

https://youtu.be/WM273cwMuQI

Classic so old I don't even think it does the rounds anymore

RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 221d

"You should my calorie intake on the days I smoke crack!"

AppleTea@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 221d

when your nutrition app has a contract with Suntory

dbtng@eviltoast.org · 2 pts · 222d

Yes. Ok. Let's do that.