No one's expecting you to do well. Looking in, everything about your current state of mind seems normal. You've been hit with a bunch of major negative life impacts and are experiencing the trauma of that.
Don’t be sorry. You are going through a really tough time. It’s ok to let sadness happen. (And all the other emotions too, grief is complicated) It’s ok to eat a stack of chocolate or whatever suits your diet that will ease to pain. The only thing that heals grief is time. You did the absolute best for her. It was just her time, and you cared for her so well.
Been unable to sleep and have been washing all the laundry and blankets. Gathering Melbcat’s meds and belongings into her carrier to more easily clean but I’ll be leaving her litterboxes, beds and bowls where they are. I don’t want to look at the empty spaces.
::: spoiler spoiler
I’m hoping to get the black cat back to an owner if possible or at least some clarity on next steps to take. I looked fruitlessly on Facebook (without an account) for black cats missing in my area, made a dedicated email to put on a paper collar, then made a quick Found poster with his picture. After that who knows.
:::
I guess I’m just numbing out and focusing on the things I can fix because I have no idea how to even process this. I miss my baby girl.
You might feel like you don't know how to process what has happened, but what you are doing is processing it. Busy work is a way to distract your conscious mind and give your subconscious the room to process - your conscious thoughts might grab all the attention, but it is the subconscious that does all the real heavy lifting.
The grief of loss is extremely painful to go through, but Melbcat loved you and was loved in return. Death cannot take that away, and moving from present to past does not diminish it. The time you had together and the relationship you had will always be there, you are just viewing it from a different angle.
Wise steps with the black cat and I understand leaving the beds etc in place. Take time. We had an old dog cremated, and he lived on the coffee table in his tin for over a year until we had a spot to bury him because I couldn't stand the thought of him being alone in a cupboard. Big hugs
There's this witches market in Ferntree Gully today. I managed to get out of having to drive an hour to a market to buy rocks by checking the website and seeing they're doing a similar thing closer to us in two weeks time
Many years ago I started making porridge mix and putting it into individual serving containers so I could take it to work. Then I decided that microwaving porridge was too messy so only make it at home now. But I've continued putting it in individual containers, and it's only just occured to me now that it would be much easier to make it in a big container and measure it as needed 🤦♀️
So, once the three containers I have now are used up I'm changing to a big container instead, which will reduce my porridge hassle factor considerably.
I do porridge everyday, I just make it in the breakfast bowl in the microwave, but I make very plain porridge, I have with brown sugar and a little milk
it's very easy
maybe if I can get some citrus and make some marmalade I can have toast again
Given the relative decline of letter writing and the relative increase in government funded bowel screening, the overall proportion of poo in our mailing system is probably at an all time high.
This thought brought to you by an old fart... who thought they had a few more years but was told by the doctor it's now available at 45 ....me...the old fart is me.
I think it's available at 45 but they don't send it unsolicited until 50? I just did my 'welcome to 50!' bowel screening, and the nice thing about having that out of the way is that I no longer have to go to the toilet thinking 'poo! I should save that for science!'
I had an event in St Kilda tonight, on Fitzroy St, and won’t be heading back there anytime soon. Been a long time since I’ve been in that area. It’s soul-less, don’t see the appeal other than it’s a street near a mid beach. Wasn’t St Kilda happening once upon a time? Not anymore.
It's nicer during the day but it's always been sketchy, at least since the 80s. I've never known Fitzroy St to not be mostly a shithole and have only gone there for Prince Bandroom shows. These days the Espy is just another rip off pub. Getting some take away and a six pack from Ackland St to share on the beach around dusk would be my premium St Kilda experience.
80s & 90s it was great but there's so many more modern cake places now those old shops on Ackland lost their popularity years ago. I had my first borscht at Sherezade many years ago.
I have evaporative cooling, so on warm nights I generally leave the fan on and have the window open to keep the air moving through. The bed fan is nice because it blows air under the covers (which is a very light cotton doona - I can't sleep uncovered) and it has a remote control, so if I wake up too warm I can turn it on/up without moving. It also helps to remove moisture from the bed so it doesn't feel quite so sticky.
I made a chicken casserole for the freezer and the chicken pieces shrunk a lot more than expected. So I ended up with less serves than I was expecting and a lot of excess gravy. I've frozen the gravy seperately, it should work well as a gravy to pour over a pan-fried piece of chicken, so I guess it wasn't too disapointing.
I bought a years' worth of my favourite notebook in the post christmas sales and its time to crack open a new one. The big question is - black or red? What is the vibe I want for the next 2-3 months??
Usually a cheeky last minute Sunday grocery shop is chill with the odd screaming child. Timed it wrong today, as I think everyone was trying to get their “to-do” list done before the rain hit. As busy as it was, everyone was polite and courteous tho!
The final thing stopping me from wiping an old laptop and tinkering with it was the majora's mask recomp save files. I've found those and moved them to a thumb drive to maybe transfer to another device.
The battery is shot on this thing so can't do much with it. Maybe I'll finally try arch or put on one of the BSDs to look at
I'm glad I got my mulching done when I did, working outside in this humidity is pretty icky. I'm trying to chip away at the rest of the work a little bit at a time but it's definitely not the weather for sustained effort.
87 Comments
melbaboutown@aussie.zone · 15 pts · 170d
Hey I’m sorry for the mental breakdown. I’m probably going to delete all of that soon.
I am just really not doing well and not catching a break.
SaneMartigan@aussie.zone · 11 pts · 170d
No one's expecting you to do well. Looking in, everything about your current state of mind seems normal. You've been hit with a bunch of major negative life impacts and are experiencing the trauma of that.
Seagoon_@aussie.zone · 10 pts · 170d
so many hugs
you are allowed to be human 😘😘😘🫂🫂🫂
LowExperience2368@aussie.zone · 6 pts · 169d
SituationCake@aussie.zone · 5 pts · 169d
Don’t be sorry. You are going through a really tough time. It’s ok to let sadness happen. (And all the other emotions too, grief is complicated) It’s ok to eat a stack of chocolate or whatever suits your diet that will ease to pain. The only thing that heals grief is time. You did the absolute best for her. It was just her time, and you cared for her so well.
tomiant@piefed.social · 3 pts · 169d
I'm rooting for you, buddy!
melbaboutown@aussie.zone · 14 pts · 169d
Been unable to sleep and have been washing all the laundry and blankets. Gathering Melbcat’s meds and belongings into her carrier to more easily clean but I’ll be leaving her litterboxes, beds and bowls where they are. I don’t want to look at the empty spaces.
::: spoiler spoiler I’m hoping to get the black cat back to an owner if possible or at least some clarity on next steps to take. I looked fruitlessly on Facebook (without an account) for black cats missing in my area, made a dedicated email to put on a paper collar, then made a quick Found poster with his picture. After that who knows. :::
I guess I’m just numbing out and focusing on the things I can fix because I have no idea how to even process this. I miss my baby girl.
RustyRaven@aussie.zone · 11 pts · 169d
🫂
You might feel like you don't know how to process what has happened, but what you are doing is processing it. Busy work is a way to distract your conscious mind and give your subconscious the room to process - your conscious thoughts might grab all the attention, but it is the subconscious that does all the real heavy lifting.
The grief of loss is extremely painful to go through, but Melbcat loved you and was loved in return. Death cannot take that away, and moving from present to past does not diminish it. The time you had together and the relationship you had will always be there, you are just viewing it from a different angle.
Eagle@aussie.zone · 5 pts · 169d
All this ❤️
Force_majeure1234@aussie.zone · 7 pts · 169d
I wish I knew something to say to make it better. All I know is that it will get better over time
imoldgreeeg@aussie.zone · 4 pts · 169d
Wise steps with the black cat and I understand leaving the beds etc in place. Take time. We had an old dog cremated, and he lived on the coffee table in his tin for over a year until we had a spot to bury him because I couldn't stand the thought of him being alone in a cupboard. Big hugs
LowExperience2368@aussie.zone · 12 pts · 169d
Seagoon_@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 169d
this is so cute and cool 🥰
( also, we can never be too old to feel like a teenager 🙂 )
SpinMeAround@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 168d
I love this for you!
LowExperience2368@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 168d
Gibsonhasafluffybutt@aussie.zone · 11 pts · 169d
Right. I'm bringing out the big guns.
I'm going to wash my sheets.
Surely this will spite the rain gods.
Edit: in other news, tried this nicotine spray today and I've barely touched the vape all day. I found my exit.
Seagoon_@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 169d
that's great about the vape, those are not good
Gibsonhasafluffybutt@aussie.zone · 4 pts · 169d
I've had a blocked ear all week, and so I could hear myself breathe quite loudly.
That was the catalyst lol
tombruzzo@aussie.zone · 9 pts · 169d
There's this witches market in Ferntree Gully today. I managed to get out of having to drive an hour to a market to buy rocks by checking the website and seeing they're doing a similar thing closer to us in two weeks time
Gibsonhasafluffybutt@aussie.zone · 9 pts · 169d
Alright rain. Enough with the blue balls.
LowExperience2368@aussie.zone · 4 pts · 169d
Gibsonhasafluffybutt@aussie.zone · 5 pts · 169d
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Force_majeure1234@aussie.zone · 4 pts · 169d
🫣
Gibsonhasafluffybutt@aussie.zone · 8 pts · 169d
The sheets did it.
Edit:
Who's your celebrity crush?
Mine is Lana Del Rey. Her voice gives me chills.
SituationCake@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 169d
Thankyou for your sacrifice. My garden appreciates the rain.
SpinMeAround@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 169d
Richard Dean Anderson. I don't care how old he is, that man could get it from me.
Gibsonhasafluffybutt@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 169d
Can't go wrong with a man who can defuse a bomb with chewing gum!
Seagoon_@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 169d
thank you (●'◡'●)
Seagoon_@aussie.zone · 1 pts · 169d
I don't know that I have a celeb crush
mr seagoon perhaps ...lol
Gibsonhasafluffybutt@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 169d
I don't know if it's the same for other male singers, but female singers are the bees knees lol
Seagoon_@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 169d
mr seagoon has a lovely singing voice 🥰
RustyRaven@aussie.zone · 8 pts · 169d
Many years ago I started making porridge mix and putting it into individual serving containers so I could take it to work. Then I decided that microwaving porridge was too messy so only make it at home now. But I've continued putting it in individual containers, and it's only just occured to me now that it would be much easier to make it in a big container and measure it as needed 🤦♀️
So, once the three containers I have now are used up I'm changing to a big container instead, which will reduce my porridge hassle factor considerably.
SaneMartigan@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 169d
There's an old Scottish tradition of pouring a batch of porridge in a drawer then slicing off a piece as required, sometimes to be fried.
Seagoon_@aussie.zone · 4 pts · 169d
I have not heard of this. I might try it one day. The draw is probably one of those tin lined draws in a bread makers cabinet
Seagoon_@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 169d
I do porridge everyday, I just make it in the breakfast bowl in the microwave, but I make very plain porridge, I have with brown sugar and a little milk
it's very easy
maybe if I can get some citrus and make some marmalade I can have toast again
Alamutjones@aussie.zone · 8 pts · 169d
I slept like shit
imoldgreeeg@aussie.zone · 8 pts · 169d
Given the relative decline of letter writing and the relative increase in government funded bowel screening, the overall proportion of poo in our mailing system is probably at an all time high.
This thought brought to you by an old fart... who thought they had a few more years but was told by the doctor it's now available at 45 ....me...the old fart is me.
Seagoon_@aussie.zone · 6 pts · 169d
farts won't do, you need something with a bit more substance
RustyRaven@aussie.zone · 5 pts · 169d
I think it's available at 45 but they don't send it unsolicited until 50? I just did my 'welcome to 50!' bowel screening, and the nice thing about having that out of the way is that I no longer have to go to the toilet thinking 'poo! I should save that for science!'
tone212_@aussie.zone · 8 pts · 170d
I had an event in St Kilda tonight, on Fitzroy St, and won’t be heading back there anytime soon. Been a long time since I’ve been in that area. It’s soul-less, don’t see the appeal other than it’s a street near a mid beach. Wasn’t St Kilda happening once upon a time? Not anymore.
SaneMartigan@aussie.zone · 6 pts · 170d
It's nicer during the day but it's always been sketchy, at least since the 80s. I've never known Fitzroy St to not be mostly a shithole and have only gone there for Prince Bandroom shows. These days the Espy is just another rip off pub. Getting some take away and a six pack from Ackland St to share on the beach around dusk would be my premium St Kilda experience.
Seagoon_@aussie.zone · 5 pts · 169d
used to be the place to get European cakes and pastries
SaneMartigan@aussie.zone · 4 pts · 169d
80s & 90s it was great but there's so many more modern cake places now those old shops on Ackland lost their popularity years ago. I had my first borscht at Sherezade many years ago.
Gibsonhasafluffybutt@aussie.zone · 5 pts · 170d
St kilda is a scum hole if you peek behind the curtain.
But it has its charms.
Seagoon_@aussie.zone · 5 pts · 170d
meth
Seagoon_@aussie.zone · 7 pts · 169d
day 4 with no antihistamines
I am going crazy here , mosquito bites, hay fever and food allergies
CEOofmyhouse56@aussie.zone · 7 pts · 169d
I hope youse get a better sleep tonight because whoever signed off on last night deserves to be flogged.
SituationCake@aussie.zone · 4 pts · 169d
Agree. I’ve just taken some panadol to ease my headache so hopefully I can get some sleep.
Seagoon_@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 169d
sorry 😞
CEOofmyhouse56@aussie.zone · 7 pts · 169d
Hot flushes on top of a sticky night and a high humidity. Fuck.
RustyRaven@aussie.zone · 5 pts · 169d
My bed fan was on all night, it helps to reduce the stickiness a bit.
CEOofmyhouse56@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 169d
I had the ceiling fan and the pedestal fan on high as well as the window open.
RustyRaven@aussie.zone · 4 pts · 169d
I have evaporative cooling, so on warm nights I generally leave the fan on and have the window open to keep the air moving through. The bed fan is nice because it blows air under the covers (which is a very light cotton doona - I can't sleep uncovered) and it has a remote control, so if I wake up too warm I can turn it on/up without moving. It also helps to remove moisture from the bed so it doesn't feel quite so sticky.
CEOofmyhouse56@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 169d
Hmm. I may have to look into this.
RustyRaven@aussie.zone · 7 pts · 169d
How does tempura manage to be so simple and still be so yummy?
RustyRaven@aussie.zone · 7 pts · 169d
I made a chicken casserole for the freezer and the chicken pieces shrunk a lot more than expected. So I ended up with less serves than I was expecting and a lot of excess gravy. I've frozen the gravy seperately, it should work well as a gravy to pour over a pan-fried piece of chicken, so I guess it wasn't too disapointing.
Catfish@aussie.zone · 6 pts · 170d
There is no Sleep, only Stickiness.
imoldgreeeg@aussie.zone · 6 pts · 169d
I bought a years' worth of my favourite notebook in the post christmas sales and its time to crack open a new one. The big question is - black or red? What is the vibe I want for the next 2-3 months??
Seagoon_@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 169d
Paint it black.
imoldgreeeg@aussie.zone · 4 pts · 169d
I'm leaning towards black. I found some sparkly dragon sticker that will look cool.
SpinMeAround@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 169d
That sounds awesome!! Where did you find said stickers?
imoldgreeeg@aussie.zone · 4 pts · 169d
Oh not sure. I think it was just Officeworks. They were down the back of the drawer.
::: spoiler shiny
:::
SpinMeAround@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 169d
Oh that is so cute. Thank you!!
Seagoon_@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 169d
aww,
Seagoon_@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 169d
ooo, sparkly and dragon does sound cool
_miss_cellophane_@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 169d
Red for Autumn?
SaneMartigan@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 169d
While my Melbourneness says black, red for Autumn seems appropriate.
Seagoon_@aussie.zone · 5 pts · 169d
it's warm out there, no rain 😠
CEOofmyhouse56@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 169d
It's coming
DolphinLundgrin@aussie.zone · 7 pts · 169d
LowExperience2368@aussie.zone · 5 pts · 169d
Seagoon_@aussie.zone · 4 pts · 169d
what do the birds say, birds stop singing when rain is coming
LowExperience2368@aussie.zone · 4 pts · 169d
_miss_cellophane_@aussie.zone · 5 pts · 169d
Usually a cheeky last minute Sunday grocery shop is chill with the odd screaming child. Timed it wrong today, as I think everyone was trying to get their “to-do” list done before the rain hit. As busy as it was, everyone was polite and courteous tho!
Alamutjones@aussie.zone · 4 pts · 169d
I got my hair cut.
I get this done once a month like clockwork…and despite this regular routine I have to take off so much hair
tombruzzo@aussie.zone · 4 pts · 170d
The final thing stopping me from wiping an old laptop and tinkering with it was the majora's mask recomp save files. I've found those and moved them to a thumb drive to maybe transfer to another device.
The battery is shot on this thing so can't do much with it. Maybe I'll finally try arch or put on one of the BSDs to look at
Seagoon_@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 169d
been wasting time so thought I may as well clean the kitchen a bit 🤷♀️
bacon@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 170d
Beep Beep 🚚
🍏🍎🍐🍊🍋🍈🫐🍓🍇🍉🍌🍒🍑🥭🍍🥥🥦🥑🫛🍆🍅🥝🥬🥒🌽🥕🥐🍠🫚🥔🧅🥯🍞🥖🥨🧀🧇🥞🧈🍳🥚🥓🥩🍗🍖🫓🍕🍟🍔🌭🥙🧆🌮🌯🥗🍲🍜🍝🥘🍛🍣🍱🥟🦪🍥🍘🍚🍙🐠🍤🪼🦀🐙 🍗🥮🍢🍡🍧🍰🧁🥧🍦🍨🎂🍮🍭🍬🍫🥜🌰🍪🍿🍯🥛☕️🍵🍺🍶🥤🧋🧃🥂🍷🥃🍸🍹🧉🔋
RustyRaven@aussie.zone · 4 pts · 169d
A prawn cocktail, a chicken burger and a sickly-sweet and gelatinous cheesecake, please.
bacon@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 169d
🍤🥂🐥🍔🍭🍬🍭🍬🍬🍬🍮🧀🍰
tomiant@piefed.social · 3 pts · 169d
Alien fetus, please.
bacon@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 169d
🪺
TheWitchofThornbury2@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 169d
Lobscouse & gin please chef.
bacon@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 169d
🍖🥔🥕🥃
Force_majeure1234@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 170d
I'll have the same as Julius Caesar would have had before riding into battle
bacon@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 169d
🍞
Force_majeure1234@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 169d
Oh...
TheWitchofThornbury2@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 169d
Sometimes I worry about your food choices, Force. I mean, Julius Caesar? Look how he ended up!
Force_majeure1234@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 169d
Famous in perpetuity!
TheWitchofThornbury2@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 169d
For all the wrong reasons!
Force_majeure1234@aussie.zone · 5 pts · 169d
His salad is pretty good
Seagoon_@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 169d
his politics stunk but he had good military strategy and management
he was also a good writer, his commentaries were interesting and well observed https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Commentarii_de_Bello_Gallico
RustyRaven@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 169d
I'm glad I got my mulching done when I did, working outside in this humidity is pretty icky. I'm trying to chip away at the rest of the work a little bit at a time but it's definitely not the weather for sustained effort.