Women have been trained to see men this way too. I showed vulnerability to my ex one time, and her attitude changed overnight and she broke up with me not long after.
This happened to me. My ex had our kid, and I was no longer the "hardened bad boy" but instead a loving caring father and my ex decided that she did not want that and left me.
I am really missing my weekly TTRPG games. Two have totally derailed because no one can host now that my shop is gone. I found a place (bar at an abandoned haunted hotel) that we can use twice a month. Trying to get in more often so the other games can move there.
I had also finally got a community for a small table top wargame going when I closed.
Just yesterday I talked to my cousin at a bakery and he broke down, saying how he felt like he had to keep "strong" even at home but his mom (my aunt) died just a month ago. Men are victims of sexism too, we all should work together
Men tend to shrug off the small stuff, but the big stuff ... having a shoulder is the world. Death, work layoff, bad health diagnosis, etc ... just because they don't look for a shoulder every day, doesn't mean it isn't needed and appreciated when it's time.
I don't think it's a big deal. Neither do I adhere to many masculine norms. Have dated a woman now a couple of times, been on her shoulder and her on mine. Both feels great.
Hugs are my favorite things in life. I have no silly macho compulsions to avoid asking. I'm more than happy to ask my wife for hugs and she has no problem providing them and vice versa.
I prefer just laying down my head on her lap.
Probably reminds me of when I was a kid and my granny would pet me while I waited for the cult in church to be over. So soothing.
20 Comments
NaibofTabr@infosec.pub · 32 pts · 97d
Men have been trained from birth that displaying any kind of emotional need is a sign of weakness that others will use against them.
If a man does display this kind of vulnerability with you, it means:
agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works · 15 pts · 97d
Women have been trained to see men this way too. I showed vulnerability to my ex one time, and her attitude changed overnight and she broke up with me not long after.
nocturne@slrpnk.net · 12 pts · 96d
This happened to me. My ex had our kid, and I was no longer the "hardened bad boy" but instead a loving caring father and my ex decided that she did not want that and left me.
DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social · 5 pts · 97d
4: He's broken his programming but also maybe any of the above
nocturne@slrpnk.net · 14 pts · 97d
Very true, especially right now for me. I had to close my business (a local game shop) after 7 1/2 years. I loved it, I am not coping well.
solarvector@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 8 pts · 97d
I'm sorry to hear that :(
There's a lot of effort and dedication you're saying goodbye to.
nocturne@slrpnk.net · 6 pts · 97d
I am really missing my weekly TTRPG games. Two have totally derailed because no one can host now that my shop is gone. I found a place (bar at an abandoned haunted hotel) that we can use twice a month. Trying to get in more often so the other games can move there.
I had also finally got a community for a small table top wargame going when I closed.
Areexor@feddit.org · 6 pts · 97d
Sorry to hear that. Hope you find something new that bring joy from work.
nocturne@slrpnk.net · 4 pts · 97d
Trying to go back to college to get my engineering degree, but I am almost 50 now and it kind of feels pointless.
Jax@sh.itjust.works · 12 pts · 97d
I'm more partial to laying my head in my girlfriends lap, but yeah the point is the same.
Dagnet@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 97d
Just yesterday I talked to my cousin at a bakery and he broke down, saying how he felt like he had to keep "strong" even at home but his mom (my aunt) died just a month ago. Men are victims of sexism too, we all should work together
darthsundhaft@piefed.social · 7 pts · 96d
A hug would be nice...
Taokan@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 96d
Men tend to shrug off the small stuff, but the big stuff ... having a shoulder is the world. Death, work layoff, bad health diagnosis, etc ... just because they don't look for a shoulder every day, doesn't mean it isn't needed and appreciated when it's time.
Defectus@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 97d
I don't think it's a big deal. Neither do I adhere to many masculine norms. Have dated a woman now a couple of times, been on her shoulder and her on mine. Both feels great.
Professorozone@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 96d
Hugs are my favorite things in life. I have no silly macho compulsions to avoid asking. I'm more than happy to ask my wife for hugs and she has no problem providing them and vice versa.
k0e3@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 96d
Sometimes, I guess. But I need alone time more often than I need a shoulder.
I just need the world to stfu and leave me alone for just 1 day out of a month to find inner peace.
Aqarius@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 96d
Some people have just gotten used to their own shoulders.
fibojoly@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 96d
I prefer just laying down my head on her lap.
Probably reminds me of when I was a kid and my granny would pet me while I waited for the cult in church to be over. So soothing.
Malyca@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 97d
Yet the argument we often hear is that women expect you to be psychic. If you need something, ask. Both genders.
toynbee@piefed.social · 1 pts · 97d
... You're in my house?