How could I prepare for this market scenario?

313 points · 28 comments · view on lemmy.world

28 Comments

SoupBrick@pawb.social · 106 pts · 68d (2 replies)

Do this:

Hope this helps!

WhoIzDisIz@lemmy.today · 7 pts · 67d

Just don't pee on the way up, or going back around is gonna be even messier than it ought to.

Agent641@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 67d

A barrel roll!

Kraiden@piefed.social · 41 pts · 68d (1 reply)

Pfft. Learn to time travel n00b. Skill issue.

saltesc@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 67d

Multiverse travel. The timeline shows very different results ocurring but there's no z-axis to show us where they occur.

One day we'll figure out the mysteries of the stockmos...

sunrisepirate@piefed.social · 33 pts · 67d (1 reply)

Honestly this makes as much sense as what the market is actually doing.

UnrefinedChihuahua@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 11 pts · 67d

"It's possible that we are in a completely fraudulent system."

amda@feddit.nl · 26 pts · 67d (1 reply)

obvious pattern

You would have to be a fucking idiot not to buy here... the pattern is so ovious

ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org · 7 pts · 67d

When time is being manipulated and it's not you doing it... a time traveller is profitting off the stock market. SELL!

captain_solanum@sh.itjust.works · 17 pts · 68d (1 reply)

And don't say "turn your piss into gold" because it's sold out already.

some_random_nick@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 68d

You snooze, you lose. Better luck in the next economic crisis!

mycodesucks@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 67d

Instead of buying and selling futures you have to get into the pasts market.

First_Thunder@lemmy.zip · 14 pts · 68d (1 reply)

You gotta invest in those countries that already have experience in upside down, like Australia

JasonDJ@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 67d

Instructions unclear, invested in Hawkins, Indiana.

nehal3m@lemmy.zip · 12 pts · 67d

Short yesterday

bl4ckp1xx13@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 11 pts · 68d

This is what would display if someone vibe-coded a dashboard.

r00ty@kbin.life · 11 pts · 68d

If you see a ticker board like that, wake up. Or actually don't. Use it as a trigger to know you're dreaming and have a nice lucid dream.

ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml · 4 pts · 67d

It's doing a loopity-loop, it's time to sell, then buy again when it finishes.

mumblerfish@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 67d

Easy, if the market bifurcates in time, you simply exist in the time before the bifircation event (use time machine if necessary) then you buy the cheap one and sell it as expensive.

RiceMunk@sopuli.xyz · 3 pts · 68d

Ride the time singularity to the past, then enjoy dinosaurs.

BagOfHeavyStones@piefed.social · 3 pts · 67d

Maybe a CRT monitor and a big magnet?

Zkuld@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 67d

Once the market bends back in time and is behind us, we can all go outside again.

gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 67d

stonks

ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 67d

You need a reverse mortgage to ride this out.

explodIng_lIme@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 67d

Inverse back-testing

yermaw@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 67d

Is this the stock price for Pork Futures?

Allero@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 67d

If you can reverse time like this, you'll have more interesting things to do than market manipulation

chortle_tortle@mander.xyz · 1 pts · 67d

I'm a bit more of a risk adverse investor, but I buy both low and high, so I can diversify and normalize losses and gains as they re-converge.