She doesn’t have enough introspection to form a concept like “what if,” she’s still hung up on “why am I, the main character, experiencing any bad things at all.”
Unless your the asshole in this adversarial relationship, then they still hate you but you’ve made their life better. Which would make you not the asshole, unless you did it only because of a flawed plan. My head hurts
That’s entirely fair, and I apologize for last night, when I took the Shit That Won’t Quit™ and your boss said you’d be docked pay if you flinched away from watching.
I'm not anybodys enemy. I'm the person you forget you had any interaction with. The kind of person that daily employees still don't know my name after working there for 7+ years.
Being rich in a capitalist society is pretty great. What sucks about capitalism is that everyone can't share in how kicksss being rich is, because all the kickass parts of being rich require a fuckton of people to be poor & suffering while you wring the benefits from them.
I'd add to make it reverse me back to the age I was when I made the wish and just wish to be 80, just so my enemy is forever 160 years old and is unable to ever enjoy life ever again. Too busy being way past expiration date to be able to do anything while I say the code word and go back to every day life.
Either that, or if it's rules like Omniar and the Snowy Day just hope no matter how old or young I become that the genie can still understand what I am trying to say and just wish to be a day old to heighten the odds they never return to normal and are forever dependent on others for everything.
I'd ask for a healthy brain that keeps me mentally sharp until I die.
My enemy will get 2 brains, squishing each other in his head and killing him instantly.
37 Comments
tanisnikana@lemmy.world · 37 pts · 108d
I would ask the genie to introduce me to someone who would be a good friend and help me improve myself, make amends, and grow.
My enemy would get two of these people, and hopefully after a while, she wouldn’t be an enemy, just a someone.
StillAlive@piefed.world · 10 pts · 108d
And they hate each other so your enemy is forced to choose and live rest of the life wondering 'what if?'.
Diabolical.
surewhynotlem@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 107d
Parents during the divorce.
tanisnikana@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 108d
She doesn’t have enough introspection to form a concept like “what if,” she’s still hung up on “why am I, the main character, experiencing any bad things at all.”
CIA_chatbot@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 107d
Unless your the asshole in this adversarial relationship, then they still hate you but you’ve made their life better. Which would make you not the asshole, unless you did it only because of a flawed plan. My head hurts
tanisnikana@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 107d
Everyone’s an asshole to someone.
And sometimes people hurt other people, and they hold a grudge against the people they hurt, and perhaps even hate them for it.
Shit’s unfair, humans are messy.
I try to be good to almost but not entirely everyone.
CIA_chatbot@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 107d
See that’s where we differ, I’m an asshole to everyone! Because I’m the CIA and that’s how we do!
tanisnikana@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 107d
That’s entirely fair, and I apologize for last night, when I took the Shit That Won’t Quit™ and your boss said you’d be docked pay if you flinched away from watching.
CIA_chatbot@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 107d
Not gonna lie, I was both disgusted and impressed at the same time, kinda like when you drive past a horrific car crash and can’t stop looking
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 107d
I'm not anybodys enemy. I'm the person you forget you had any interaction with. The kind of person that daily employees still don't know my name after working there for 7+ years.
WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world · 23 pts · 108d
Beat me half to death
albbi@piefed.ca · 9 pts · 107d
Scare me half to death sounds a bit more pleasant.
Onomatopoeia@lemmy.cafe · 6 pts · 108d
Hahahaha
hOrni@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 108d
I'd still ask for an unreasonable amount of money.
yakko@feddit.uk · 1 pts · 108d
Too much money ruins your life. Wish yourself enough, and your enemy will be bankrupt or ruinously insane inside of a decade.
JoMiran@lemmy.ml · 19 pts · 108d
This is a lie people like to tell themselves.
yakko@feddit.uk · -6 pts · 108d
Posting from a Marxist instance about how great being rich is. That's pretty great, actually.
Warl0k3@lemmy.world · 23 pts · 108d
Being rich in a capitalist society is pretty great. What sucks about capitalism is that everyone can't share in how kicksss being rich is, because all the kickass parts of being rich require a fuckton of people to be poor & suffering while you wring the benefits from them.
JoMiran@lemmy.ml · 6 pts · 108d
☝️This guy gets it.
bizarroland@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 107d
I would wish to be forever 18, immortal, and invincible until I decide to die and I say the code word.
I won't tell him the code word.
Revenge is a dish best served with the heat death of the universe
Nemo@slrpnk.net · 14 pts · 107d
Forever 36 is really not that bad. I'd take it over forever 18.
bizarroland@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 107d
Actually, you make a good point. I think I would go for like forever 27.
Being 54 would not be that bad, but it wouldn't be a bed of roses. Like, dude would get to experience 800 trillion years of back pain.
Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de · 3 pts · 107d
If you ask to be half your age, does that make the other guy 1/4th their age or at your current age?
AceFuzzLord@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 107d
I'd add to make it reverse me back to the age I was when I made the wish and just wish to be 80, just so my enemy is forever 160 years old and is unable to ever enjoy life ever again. Too busy being way past expiration date to be able to do anything while I say the code word and go back to every day life.
Either that, or if it's rules like Omniar and the Snowy Day just hope no matter how old or young I become that the genie can still understand what I am trying to say and just wish to be a day old to heighten the odds they never return to normal and are forever dependent on others for everything.
JoMiran@lemmy.ml · 13 pts · 108d
Wish to have an eight inch penis. Eight is already quite large. Sixteen is a disability.
acockworkorange@mander.xyz · 7 pts · 107d
He gets 2 loose penises, you get one. The police becomes suspicious.
vagrancyand@sh.itjust.works · 12 pts · 108d
Wish for "blowjobs from my enemy's mother"
Congrats, you win no matter what.
ramius345@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 107d
Congratulations, your enemy is getting a blowjob from your mother.
SparroHawc@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 107d
And twice as many.
ChicoSuave@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 108d
Get unlimited money and that killer snail that chases you. Same benefit, twice the problems.
Khanzarate@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 107d
If both snails start in different places, they'll still eventually meet up as they converge on you.
After some time it's the exact same benefit and problem.
mech@feddit.org · 8 pts · 108d
I'd ask for a healthy brain that keeps me mentally sharp until I die.
My enemy will get 2 brains, squishing each other in his head and killing him instantly.
tanisnikana@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 108d
Well, no, you had a brain, now you got a second. But your enemy has three, I suppose.
CallMeAl@piefed.zip · 5 pts · 108d
buy one of my cajones for $10m
Nemo@slrpnk.net · 2 pts · 107d
Hell I'll take $20mil for both and buy my testosterone.
TomMasz@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 108d
Your enemy has just exploded. Well played.
jerkface@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 107d
Last time I heard this was 30 years ago, and a man was asking a genie who was going to give his wife double to scare him half to death.