New version of the D in the DENNIS system, DoorDash

644 points · 61 comments · view on lemmy.world

61 Comments

I_Fart_Glitter@lemmy.world · 248 pts · 78d (21 replies)

What is the charge? Sending a lemon? A single, succulent lemon?

pelespirit@sh.itjust.works · 90 pts · 78d (15 replies)

I think it was for stalking:

Delivery instructions varied:

“Hand it to him directly”
“He will know”
“Tell him she remembers”

14 arrived at exactly 11:47 p.m.
One arrived during his job interview.
One arrived at a hospital while he was visiting his father.

https://jobbiecrew.com/doordash-psychological-warfare/

Edit: FAKE, as found below.

TheTechnician27@lemmy.world · 129 pts · 78d (11 replies)

Just an FYI, this random content mill doesn't cite any sources. This has been circulating on Facebook, Instagram, etc. and claims specifically 241 days. I tried finding it, and it's fortunately just satire. No actual news organizations have covered this, there are no court records, and the most you'll find are random content mills regurgitating Facebook memes.

(Edit: But it is surprisingly creative.)

(Edit 2: And 1847 lemons over 241 days implies 7.5 lemons daily within the fiction of the meme.)

pelespirit@sh.itjust.works · 41 pts · 78d (2 replies)

Thanks for finding that and it is pretty creative, lol. Here is something else she did:

26-YEAR-OLD WOMAN PLEADS GUILTY IN MANITOBA'S FIRST-EVER 'AGGRESSIVE CAROLING' CASE — STOOD OUTSIDE HER EX-BOYFRIEND'S HOUSE EVERY NIGHT IN DECEMBER — SANG ONLY 'LAST CHRISTMAS' — FOR 14 NIGHTS

https://www.instagram.com/p/DX1zhj4mlCm/

Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 10 pts · 78d

She sounds like a real go-getter!

Banana@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 78d

I've heard mentioning Manitoba in your fake meme makes it seem believable

BurgerBaron@quokk.au · 19 pts · 78d (7 replies)

If you think about it for 3 seconds the story falls apart yeah. That's no fun. Door Dash would blacklist as soon as the ex complained.

But if nobody complained and the lemons are getting paid for, I wonder if anyone would try to stop you doing this 7.5 times a day and how long it'd take.

N0t_5ure@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 78d (1 reply)

But if nobody complained and the lemons are getting paid for, I wonder if anyone would try to stop you doing this 7.5 times a day and how long it'd take.

If you're looking for government or police intervention, the answer is that it would never happen. They don't give a shit. I was subjected to actual stalking and harassment for an extended period of time (years) from my ex and people affiliated with her, and the police were absolutely worthless.

Peppycito@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 78d

You should try having more money. Generally, the police help people with lots of money.

TheTechnician27@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 78d

Yeah, the meme tries to dress it up as her having used 11 spoof accounts, but it misses the obvious point that they'd just block the address/that specific one-lemon order altogether.

I was willing to give this the slightest bit of credibility to try looking it up until the meme started elaborating on numbers and nailed the coffin shut.

jaybone@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 78d (2 replies)

It would also be insanely expensive. Also usually you would order something like this from instacart. Most restaurants don’t have a single lemon menu option. Though I mow they’ve been expanding into offering services to other areas, to get in on instacart style action. (Personally I would never trust a dasher to shop like an ic shopper.)

Buddahriffic@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 78d

Hello, I'd like to subscribe to lemons. Ultra diamond level with the find me anywhere option.

Bane_Killgrind@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 77d

20 to 40 thousand dollars I think

optimisticturtle@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 77d
[ removed ]
wander1236@sh.itjust.works · 14 pts · 78d

The biggest indication of it being fake is any sort of consistent arrival time. That just doesn't make sense for any courier or delivery service

Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 6 pts · 78d (1 reply)

11:47pm is 40 minutes later than the time of day John Lennon died on the 8th of December 1980!

Coincidence? I think so!

Unstoppable_Flop@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 78d

John Lemon is a door Dasher, confirmed!

waterSticksToMyBalls@lemmy.world · 42 pts · 78d (2 replies)

Gentlemen, this is delivery manifest!

suxen_tsihcrana@anarchist.nexus · 8 pts · 78d

Can confirm:

DELIVERY MANIFEST
+---------------+
| QTY | ITEM |
+---------------+
| 1 | LEMON |
+---------------+

wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz · 3 pts · 78d

I see you know your judo well.

bedwyr@piefed.ca · 8 pts · 78d (1 reply)

I would love to receive fresh lemons all the time.

tomiant@piefed.social · 2 pts · 78d

They have an app for that!

mech@feddit.org · 32 pts · 78d (2 replies)

When life gives you lemons, arrest life.

snooggums@piefed.world · 5 pts · 78d (1 reply)

Life gave humans citrons and bitter oranges and we used them to make lemons.

Unstoppable_Flop@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 78d

What if you're allergic to citrus? When life gives you lemons, swell up and die

jaaake@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 78d (3 replies)

Can anyone find a legitimate source for this?

Everything I can find all points back to a Facebook posting on a page called "Memezar," which doesn't cite any sources or contain any details that would help in a search.

A_norny_mousse@piefed.zip · -3 pts · 78d (2 replies)
[ removed ]
jaaake@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 78d

I also found those.

The image in the article has a watermark from Memezar, has all of the same text from the Memezar Facebook post, except that it has named the woman. Searching for a woman of that name in Toronto doesn't match up with the image in the article.

The YouTube video doesn't offer any new details or cite source, but it repeats some of the details from the Memezar Facebook post.

bss03@infosec.pub · 2 pts · 78d

I believe it is fake (or satire): https://lemmy.world/comment/24087259

Ping: @jaaake@lemmy.world

Gork@sopuli.xyz · 18 pts · 78d (3 replies)

I see nothing wrong here. Just a girl enjoying her lemon party 1847 times.

Flyswat@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 78d (2 replies)

What's a lemon party?

Gork@sopuli.xyz · 2 pts · 78d (1 reply)

Something you probably shouldn't Google if you're still at work

cockmushroom@reddthat.com · 2 pts · 78d

Speak for yourself

DarkCloud@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 78d

Someone's still sour about it!

Kolanaki@pawb.social · 17 pts · 78d (1 reply)

How many lemons can I door dash someone before it becomes a crime? 🤔

Unstoppable_Flop@lemmy.zip · 23 pts · 78d

Sounds like 1,846

Zacryon@feddit.org · 15 pts · 78d (1 reply)

The important question is, whether the ex made lemonade.

kralizec@feddit.nl · 2 pts · 77d

that, or invented combustible lemons..

Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 78d

When ex-wife sends you lemons...

village604@adultswim.fan · 12 pts · 78d (10 replies)

That's like $3600, minimum

nova_ad_vitum@lemmy.ca · 8 pts · 78d (7 replies)

Yeah but she paid right?

village604@adultswim.fan · 2 pts · 78d (6 replies)

She did. I just feel you get diminishing returns after the first several hundred lemons.

A_norny_mousse@piefed.zip · 0 pts · 78d (5 replies)

She probably bought them in bulk. They keep a long time in the cold.

village604@adultswim.fan · 3 pts · 78d (3 replies)

She sent him orders of exactly one lemon, though.

A_norny_mousse@piefed.zip · 1 pts · 78d (2 replies)

That's what I meant: that will cost less if you buy them in bulk, then use them one by one.

Premeditated harassment!

Granted, 241 days is a long time. Maybe 2 bulks then.

I am, of course, entirely serious about this.

suxen_tsihcrana@anarchist.nexus · 3 pts · 78d (1 reply)

She used doordash though. I'm pretty sure you can't send your own pre-bought lemons using doordash.

A_norny_mousse@piefed.zip · 1 pts · 78d

Oh. This shows my ignorance! I never use such services.

Janx@piefed.social · 2 pts · 78d

What? She used DoorDash.

kkj@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 78d (1 reply)

Delivery fees alone are probably $10k+.

village604@adultswim.fan · 2 pts · 78d

I did a conservative estimate based on Doordash's lowest at $1.99

HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 12 pts · 78d (1 reply)

I wish someone cared about me not getting scurvy this much

A_norny_mousse@piefed.zip · 3 pts · 78d

I wonder if it was bizarre enough for the ex to know exactly who this is coming from, or if it was bizarre enough to make him freak out.

edit: apparently the latter

eareetator@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 78d

Was it at regular intervals? Like one every two days or only on weekends? That’s a fresh lemon for a nice tequila guaranteed

picnic@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 10 pts · 77d (1 reply)

I can fix her

Rachelhazideas@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 77d

Fix? What more can a man want than 1,847 lemons?

Sharkticon@lemmy.zip · 9 pts · 77d (2 replies)

Literally what is the crime, though?

clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 77d

Door dashing a lemon!? A succulent yellow lemon!?

PrimeErective@startrek.website · 1 pts · 77d
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Gullible@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 78d

I wish I had exes that gave me fruit. “Oh no, I have to make extra salads?”

tomiant@piefed.social · 7 pts · 78d

When life gives you lemons, shut up and eat your lemons.

cockmushroom@reddthat.com · 5 pts · 78d

This is fake news

Hupf@feddit.org · 4 pts · 78d
rumba@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 77d

I would absolutely set up a lemonade stand out front.

darthsundhaft@piefed.social · 0 pts · 78d

She's hot. Also, the fictional story at least makes her sound petty, which I typically find very endearing.