As someone polyamorous, there's definitely something to this. If I already have one partner, I feel more confident in approaching new potential partners. Knowing somebody already cares about you and supports you can go far.
What I don't understand is the cheater mindset - the idea of going after someone behind your partner's back. Especially these days, where people know about polyamory. If your partner's not into it, then you have to make a choice - do you want to be their one and only? Then stick to that promise. If not, then the honorable thing would be to be honest and accept the break up.
you're presumption is that people are not bad people. lots of people are genuinely bad people, and they are only in relationships to exploit, use, and abuse others. and most cheaters have double-standards, the rules of fidelity only apply to their partner, not themselves.
Is this supposed to be some kind of contradiction? Am I required to not be annoyed by the most popular type of post now (random person, vague expression, seemingly-unrelated caption)?
I've noticed that people flirt with you so much more when you're in a relationship. And from talking with female friends about it, it's about them feeling you're safe because of it. I understand it but don't like it, flirting with someone you know is in a relationship is ficked up.
I've never cheated and never will, I've ended friendships because of it (them cheating on their partner). It's just so fucking evil IMO, I'd break really badly if someone ever cheated on me.
What is it with people in vehicles taking an upward-angled photo of their face? I noticed this in another post where the identity of the person didn't even have anything to do with the content. Is this a new trend or something?
There is something to this that is more about social behaviors and filters than 'interested because someone else is interested' as your comment implies.
Dating someone is a sign that the person is able to handle a relationship. Itbisn't a reliable sign, but it is kind of like popularity being contagious. When someone is visibly getting along with people they are more approachable. Same concept.
The other thing is that people in relationships are generally not pursuing new relationships and that is less intimidating for a lot of people. I always had more attention from strangers when I wasn't looking for a relationship whether or not I was in one at the time. Being in a relationship guaranteed I was in that mindset since I prefer monogamy.
So it isn't that they want what others have, but that people are generally more approachable and give off better vibes when in a relationship. Not always of course, but it is a trend.
if you don't have a toy, and the other kid has a toy, you want that toy. way more than you'd want it if it were lying on the ground and nobody else had it.
44 Comments
squirrel@cake.kobel.fyi · 56 pts · 79d
up up down down left right left right B A
houndeyes@toast.ooo · 25 pts · 79d
iddqd
Janx@piefed.social · 4 pts · 79d
"Cass"
Hideakikarate@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 79d
Howdoyouturnthison
Damn990099@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 78d
rosebud
Saapas@piefed.zip · 50 pts · 79d
People who got a partner already might be better at getting partners than those without partners
Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world · 36 pts · 79d
As someone polyamorous, there's definitely something to this. If I already have one partner, I feel more confident in approaching new potential partners. Knowing somebody already cares about you and supports you can go far.
What I don't understand is the cheater mindset - the idea of going after someone behind your partner's back. Especially these days, where people know about polyamory. If your partner's not into it, then you have to make a choice - do you want to be their one and only? Then stick to that promise. If not, then the honorable thing would be to be honest and accept the break up.
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 79d
cheaters aren't honorable.
you're presumption is that people are not bad people. lots of people are genuinely bad people, and they are only in relationships to exploit, use, and abuse others. and most cheaters have double-standards, the rules of fidelity only apply to their partner, not themselves.
chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 79d
Based on some people I've talked to, I think a lot of it is an inability to have sincere overt intentions.
de_lancre@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 79d
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 79d
then you should have been born on a different planet.
this one is a PvP server
Saapas@piefed.zip · 5 pts · 79d
Well there's always single player
sirico@feddit.uk · 25 pts · 79d
Also why? That's like double the amount of chores you have to share and fun places you have to visit.
Dzheyk@sh.itjust.works · 21 pts · 79d
Find someone to date? My wife and I can't even find someone to be a friend with.
Gonzako@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 79d
Not defending cheating but basically use the same skills that got you the first partner.
About why? You gonna have to ask fucking Amanda. One doesn't trip and blows someone off by accident
lovingisliving@anarchist.nexus · 14 pts · 79d
Gonzako@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 79d
That's very common. In those kinda situations the actually getting in contact part is the hard one
OwOarchist@pawb.social · 14 pts · 79d
Maybe try it without the mustache... Just saying.
Gonzako@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 79d
Oh, stache is perfectly fine. It's prolly just that he doesn't put himself in situations to connect with others
timeghost@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 79d
yes and, it looks like a prosthetic eyebrow from a 1983 michael dukakis halloween costume got hot glued to his upper lip.
FudgyMcTubbs@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 79d
And how should he go about doing that?
velma@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 7 pts · 79d
You quite literally put yourself in social situations, like in bars, hobby meetups, cafes, etc. and talk to people.
It’s a little easier said than done, but it’s very straightforward.
echodot@feddit.uk · 3 pts · 79d
Sounds ghastly.
FudgyMcTubbs@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 79d
Go out on the town, and in the words of Troy McClure: "Get confident, Stupid!"
lightnsfw@reddthat.com · 5 pts · 78d
Sometimes I jork it with my off hand.
flambonkscious@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 78d
What are you, the jorking connoisseur?
That gives me a great idea for a username...
GreenKnight23@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 79d
it's the mustache. you're not distinguished enough to have one. wait until you have a bit of grey and you can try again.
Etterra@discuss.online · 4 pts · 78d
It might be that mustache that's doing you in buddy.
TrickDacy@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 79d
And that has what to do with this random smirking 22 yo?
chuckleslord@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 79d
"I opt out of modern social media. I don't like it"
Later
"I don't understand this modern social media shorthand"
TrickDacy@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 79d
Is this supposed to be some kind of contradiction? Am I required to not be annoyed by the most popular type of post now (random person, vague expression, seemingly-unrelated caption)?
chuckleslord@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 79d
Observation. That's all. Your commentary is very "old man yells at cloud"
TrickDacy@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 79d
So be it! I'm not 19 anymore. Sue me I suppose?
chuckleslord@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 79d
Brownie@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 79d
He's the one asking the question ig
echodot@feddit.uk · 0 pts · 79d
I'm pretty sure that's just Snapchat.
PillowD@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 79d
That knife might be a bit off putting, champ.
M137@lemmy.today · 3 pts · 78d
I've noticed that people flirt with you so much more when you're in a relationship. And from talking with female friends about it, it's about them feeling you're safe because of it. I understand it but don't like it, flirting with someone you know is in a relationship is ficked up. I've never cheated and never will, I've ended friendships because of it (them cheating on their partner). It's just so fucking evil IMO, I'd break really badly if someone ever cheated on me.
Eyekaytee@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 79d
finally some good me_irl
farmgineer@nord.pub · 2 pts · 78d
What is it with people in vehicles taking an upward-angled photo of their face? I noticed this in another post where the identity of the person didn't even have anything to do with the content. Is this a new trend or something?
AeonFelis@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 78d
It's easy:
"But Aeon", you say. "that wouldn't count as cheating because I never was with that first girl!"
Well, you are not going to get with that other girl, so it should all balance out or something.
laz@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 78d
ivanafterall@lemmy.world · -4 pts · 79d
The other girls only become interested once you finally find someone to date.
snooggums@piefed.world · 8 pts · 79d
There is something to this that is more about social behaviors and filters than 'interested because someone else is interested' as your comment implies.
Dating someone is a sign that the person is able to handle a relationship. Itbisn't a reliable sign, but it is kind of like popularity being contagious. When someone is visibly getting along with people they are more approachable. Same concept.
The other thing is that people in relationships are generally not pursuing new relationships and that is less intimidating for a lot of people. I always had more attention from strangers when I wasn't looking for a relationship whether or not I was in one at the time. Being in a relationship guaranteed I was in that mindset since I prefer monogamy.
So it isn't that they want what others have, but that people are generally more approachable and give off better vibes when in a relationship. Not always of course, but it is a trend.
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 79d
it's not that complex.
people want what other people want.
if you don't have a toy, and the other kid has a toy, you want that toy. way more than you'd want it if it were lying on the ground and nobody else had it.
snooggums@piefed.world · 1 pts · 79d
I drew the most attention from people who did not know I was in a relationship.
chuckleslord@lemmy.world · -2 pts · 79d
Lies, misogynistic bullshit, and shitting on both yourself and women. Go sit in the corner, think about what you've done.